A Pure Knight’s Natural Enemy – Chapter 10 (Patreon)

Quite often, the isekai genre gets conflated with the LitRPG genre. They are both quite distinct in their characteristics, yet close enough in their true essence that it’s easy for those unfamiliar with the deepest nuances of both to make such a mistake.

That is, both genres rely on having a main character that we are told is painfully average to avoid having any character trait interfere with the seamless self-insertion being given a quick way to become god-like both in martial and marital prowess. Which means that both genres are, at their heart, a scathingly misanthropic commentary on modern society because if those main characters are supposed to be average, it’s a wonder society as a whole hasn’t devolved into a dystopian nightmare the likes of which we only glimpse at in animated films allegedly made for kids starring a cute hoarder robot.

And so, both isekai and LitRPG will rely on not at all dull, exhaustive, pages-long descriptions of ‘skills’ or ‘stats’ that will make any numbers-obsessed nerd (that is: most of them) happy in a way actual prose that relies on non-numerical descriptors never could.

Still, one power from the RPG genre that is often denied the narrative focus it should merit due to its world-shaking impact is that of resting.

No, I am not saying that black companies and the Japanese schooling system have made it so that actually having the chance to rest and recover from the unending cycle of suffering the karma-purging machine of modern society has turned everyone’s lives into is now the most unrealistic thing you can do in an RPG. What I’m saying is that resting heals everything.

Yes, most action-oriented stories will rarely dwell on the realistic consequences of a character learning to punch harder by making a park ranger very sad about what his poor trees went through before their sad demise, but when narrating a character who starts living their life by RPG rules, the fact that no immediately lethal injury will ever amount to anything more than a momentary annoyance should be one of the most impactful things weighing on their mind and affecting their outlook on life.

Or death.

As in, what kind of moron would happily jump into an acidic slime without the knowledge that his squeaky-clean bones can be recovered and new life restored to them? Who would risk having their head removed by a meteorological meme if that could ever be more than a temporary, PTSD-inducing annoyance? Who would jokingly get murdered by the token loli of the party going on a jealousy-driven, Explosion-flinging rampage? Who, if not an absolute moron, would keep getting in mortal peril that bypasses plot armor like an adamantine weapon only to get a meeting with a gentle goddess that promises a more restful, peaceful, fulfilling next life only to have that posthumous reward taken away by the archpriestess who keeps flaunting the very will of the Heavens with her frequent usage of the Resurrection spell? Who could ever be so moronic as to keep getting into those situations despite a ludicrous Luck stat?!

… Nobody. That’s who.

Because! As I was saying, RPGs have a restorative mechanic that people over thirty seem to attribute to twenty-year-olds everywhere. That is: sleeping things off.

You know, things like death.

Or fatigue.

Or going through a pool filled with aphrodisiac, trying to resist its effects desperately to the point of smashing a rock wall to pieces with my fucking forehead, only to have the girl I did such a self-destructively stupid thing feat for, a thing that would have Darkness herself weak at the knee with the mere insinuation of being forced to do it on her own (mental note taken), and… where was I going with this?

Ah, yes.

I resisted a mind-shattering aphrodisiac crafted by the Goddess of Thirst for a girl who then demanded I rail her silly.

A girl who’s peacefully resting atop my chest, her unbound hair lazily drifting over her lips with her cute gasps and whistling breath going past a soft, entrancing, peaceful smile while she restores her hit points in the least traumatic way this world has to offer.

That is: sleeping on top of a rape orc.

Surely, my orcish ancestors would be proud of my ingenuity: first I capture the female adventurer, then I exhaust her to unconsciousness, and then I use my own body as a portable bed-slash-cheat restorative item so that she may once again become active in her ravishing. Truly, I am an engine of perpetual (lewd) motion. The very laws of physics stand in awe at the potential for infinite (lewd) energy I embody. Certainly, the gods themselves are witnesses to the (lewd) realization of my entire species’ (lewd) purpose.

…

All right, look, the thing is that I had a quick nap, and I woke up before Yunyun did to find the girl being far more adorable than that darned demonic kitten Megumin keeps dragging around, so I’m loath to disturb her even if she’s very naked. What’s that, you say? Girls can’t be very naked? They either are or aren’t, with maybe some intermediate stages of partial nakedness that would, by the dictionary’s definition, not count as nudity at all? You are saying that applying the qualificative ‘very’ to such an absolute state of being as the term ‘naked’ describes makes no sense whatsoever?

Well, here’s my rebuttal: she’s still wearing a white shirt collar with a pink tie squished between her plentiful breasts.

Thus, she’s not naked: she’s very naked.

Also, I’m jealous of a damn piece of pretentious string.

Seriously, tie, what is your purpose? What role do you fulfill in the hierarchy of being? Why do you exist, tie? How do you look at yourself in the mirror every morning, struggling not to stare at Yunyun’s breasts framing you majestically, and decide that, yes, yours is an existence that brings something worthwhile to the world when all you do is hide part of Yunyun’s magnificent—

“Mister Kazuma?” the girl attached to the breasts sleepily asks.

Blinking cutely up at me.

And making the partial erection I keep trying to ignore quiver.

“Eeeeep!” Yunyun squeaks for no discernible reason at all.

And surely not because my orcish member just hardened in a way that pushed the tip past her lower lips and between our bodies. Yes. That definitely is not something that would make the naked, currently flushed and flustered girl let out a cute squeak at all. Certainly, Yunyun’s mettle is such that this is entirely out of the question.

My fingers digging into her pliant ass and holding her against me as my cock keeps growing between us with each thundering beat of my heart as the edges of my vision darken until I can only see her crimson, wide eyes, and her half-open lips are also not a likely cause.

Truly, this is an enigma for the ages and best left to those with an Int stat high enough to dwarf my own intellectual prowess.

Megumin, most likely.

“Mi—Mister… Kazuma!” she says in a way that’s surely only enticing by mere accident of circumstances and not at all because I like having a voluptuous girl flushed on top of me, her thighs spread around my (toned, thank you very much) belly, and her breasts pressed in such a way as to force me to draw flattering comparisons between them and the two globes of jiggling flesh I’m sinking my fingers into while I press her hips down on the underside of my cock.

My still hardening cock.

My cock burrowing past her soft folds, digging into her belly from below it, pressing Yunyun’s entire body up and against the hands keeping her trapped in place as she gasps and keeps looking at me with her open mouth and wide eyes, making me want to pull her above me until my perfectly lubricated dick slides down her soft skin, nearing her heated, wet, yearning entrance—

“Mister Kazuma!” the adventurer about to be skewered on a rape monster’s cock pleads, which, honestly, it’s not quite the right move if my forays into the seedier parts of the RPG Maker community have taught me anything.

“Yeeees?” I innocently inquire as I discreetly maneuver for an optimal angle of entry.

“We have a dungeon to explore!”

“Well, I have a beautiful girl to explore, so…”

“Wha—that! No! I mean!”

“You do?” I inquire with genuine curiosity and interest in what she has to say, like all those visual novels with nice guy protagonists tell me I should do.

You know, while still moving her whole body up and down as I prepare to use her as a particularly realistic onahole.

Like one does.

But, obviously, in a gentlemanly way. I wouldn’t want to lose affection points, after all.

“Mi—Mister Kazuma!” she moans out as I finally press the tip of my cock between her wet, warm, eagerlips.

“Have you ever considered a slight shift in appellation? Maybe changing just a single vowel? How does Mas—”

“Mister Kazuma! Stop!”

I… blink at her.

And, for maybe the first time in history, a rape orc makes sad puppy eyes.

Truly, how proud of me must my ancestors be as I keep discovering new, unplumbed powers of my race’s legacy.

Also, Yunyu is biting her lip, pushing herself up on her elbows over my chest, staring at me with flushed cheeks and ragged breaths, so, maybe, and this is just a maybe, I could push a tiny, teensy bit forward and—

“Hn!”

Yeah. And that.

“Mi… Mister Kazuma… Please,” she begs in a voice that makes me sincerely uncertain about what it is she’s asking me to do.

So, I tentatively squeeze her wonderfully soft derriere and—

“Stop,” she demands with an exhausted gasp, her head hanging down, her black hair a curtain between our eyes as it drapes over my green skin.

And I…

Well, I lick my dry lips, around my tusks, and rest my head back on pulverized rocks I’m sure my human body would find hardly as comfortable as I stare up at a smooth rock ceiling that keeps being crossed by the wavy lines of hentai pink light projected on it from the lake around our tiny island.

And then I pull Yunyun up and away from my cock, trying to ignore a chorus of angry ancestors that don’t quite understand the notion of a renewable resource that shouldn’t be exhausted in a single session.

“Why?” I ask her in a not-at-all-pained voice as she finally looks down at me with a grateful smile that only renews my urge to pull her back down and skewer her on my—

“It’s… If this was the second trial, the third must be… I don’t think I can get through too much more of you, Mister Kazuma,” she tells me with wide, wet eyes that only make things worse.

Look, I may be a believer in gender equality, but after a few too many Aqua-related incidents, I’ve come to be both wary of and uncomfortable with a beautiful woman crying in front of me. Still, every rule has exceptions, and if hentai has taught me anything is that the kind of orgasm that makes somebody overwhelmed enough to have their eyes water is the kind of orgasm I want to pry out of Yunyun’s ready and fully cooperative body.

Pity about her mind not being fully on board, though…

“Okay,” I manage to breathe out despite my fingers still kneading something that only a blue-haired goddess in a miniskirt can compete with. “Okay,” I repeat, mostly because I’m trying to come up with a good follow-up that doesn’t involve me just pulling her back down. “Okay,” I say with an air of both finality and defeat as I finally rest my head back down and close my eyes in silent suffering.

Yunyun giggles, cutely covering her smile with a bent forefinger.

…

Unfair.

“Ah!” she yelps as I rush to my feet with her pressed against me, my cock nestled between and past her lower cheeks. “Mister Kazuma!”

“Yunyun, if you keep screaming my name while naked and with your breasts squashed against my chest, I may have some difficulty holding back.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” she asks, tilting her head to the left with a look of confusion that would be a perfect prelude to a light mind-breaking session.

“… Seriously?” I ask her as I notice the way she’s instinctively wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my torso.

“What?” she asks, her confusion deepening as she bats her eyelashes at me and her heels hook behind my back.

“You’re fucking with me.”

“I am not! That’s what I asked you not to do!”

“You—are you serious?Don’t you realize just how much you’re pushing me by being this… this—this fucking adorable?! I want to pull you down! I want to spear you on my cock until your back goes as straight as my shaft inside of you! I want to make you howl in orgasm after orgasm until you can’t even think of ever asking me to stop! I want to make you mine—why are you looking at me like that? No! No tears! Those are for when I mind break you! You like me mind-breaking you, remember?”

“These… These are not bad tears, Mister Kazuma,” she says with a gorgeous smile that shines far brighter than any roaming highlights over bare rock walls.

And then her arms tighten around my neck, she pulls herself up, and kisses me.

Which definitelydoesn’t help any.

***

Crossing the magical paving stones set across the subterranean pool of magic hentai aphrodisiac with Yunyun happily purring against my chest is… an experience.

Mostly because I’m surprised that she can literally purr. I thought that was just a manner of speech. Heck, maybe it is, and this is just a quirk of the Crimson Magic Clan and whatever that weirdo who crafted them was into, which isn’t, at all, bringing up thoughts of Yunyun and Megumin on all fours, black, glossy cat ears on their heads, pawing at the air and making ‘Nyah!’ sounds before cutely poking the very tips of their pink tongues past their lips to lick up my green shaft and devotedly ask for their Master’s Cockmilk.

Not at all.

I’m being so sincere right now.

Still, it’s an experience that, happily or not (and I’m very conflicted on deciding which is which), finally comes to an end when I cross the threshold that leads us away from the second trial of the Dungeon of Interspecies Harmony and toward its third trial.

If experience has taught me well, the final one.

I mean, who has ever heard of the Dungeon of Four Trials? Nobody would make a Dungeon of Two Trials, either; that second one is only there to count up to three. Five is right out.

Also, the gigantic, jeweled goblet set on a pedestal illuminated by an almost solid shaft of golden light crossed by errant, glittering particles in the middle of a circular cave without any visible exits is kind of a clue.

“What—” Yunyun starts to ask.

And then, a voice I’ve come to despise with every bone of my shut-in body—which is quite a feat, given that shut-ins have quite a few race-related perks when it comes to despising what some may deem as ‘riajuus’—cuts her off.

“Welcome, heroes! You have done well to make it this far, but now you face—wait, what? This isn’t the Demon Lord’s generic speech? I thought we were… Oh! Oh, we’re working on that! Great, that’s much better; I was growing a bit tired of that whole ‘Goddess of the Underworld’ bit. You do one booty call once, and suddenly everyone is writing epics about your walk of shame… Damn Sumerians and their gossipy ways, I swear—what do you mean this is still recording? Can’t you—oh, fuck you, Aphrodite, you wanted this as much as I do!”

Yunyun and I stare at the beating light with… mixed feelings.

On the one hand, I’m already familiar with goddesses who should really think about getting a brain-to-mouth filter. On the other…

I mean, I’m really getting concerned that Aqua may really not be any kind of exception to the rule. And, in turn, concerned about Eris.

Maybe I should institute a foster home for mentally ill goddesses? Maybe that’s the actual reason for my descent upon this world, my life’s true purpose? And maybe, just maybe, Aqua’s much-improved disposition since I started dicking her points the way to the kind of mental healthcare these poor, deluded divine beauties desperately need?

Fret not, my lady Eris, for this humble servant of yours shall do his best to give you your prescribed doses of orcish rape!

“All right! All right, this is already ruined! Geeze, you’ve been such a bitch since that thing with the net… Anyway! Welcome, dear ambassadors from troubled races! Welcome to the last and final trial of the Dungeon of Interspecies Harmony! The first test tried your capacity to cooperate, to make the best out of one another’s virtues! The second tested your mettle! Your capability to protect your fire-forged bonds from external influences! And this third test… This third test…”

There’s another pause peppered by the sounds of muffled conversation during which Yunyun and I exchange glances that are far more tinted with worry than I would expect from a naked adventurer being held by the steady, caring, trunk-like arms of an orc.

I mean, so far, the one thing I haven’t found in such circumstances is actual distress. At least not on the adventurer’s part.

“Are you sure we… Aprhodite, I swear—what do you mean there are no tentacles available! What can you add if not a tentacle monster to NTR an orc!”

Ah, right. The familiar sense of dread that colors my every adventure is now returning. How nostalgic.

Also, Yunyun once again demonstrates that her empathy is a notch above that of her contemporaries by blanching at the words, mirroring my own reactions due only to her superlative, compassionate heart and how she perceives my own mood souring. Truly, she’s a saint.

Of which goddess, I’d rather not infer.

“Gah! You know what?! The Cum Goblet it is! Yeah, you two are to… let me think for a moment… Ah, yes! Much have you endured in the pursuit of your friendship, but a key aspect of it is to recognize one another’s needs, and so, you, human or ‘insert whatever fantasy race prone to orc dickings here,’ shall recognize your partner’s unfettered libido! Will you sacrifice your own well-being to satisfy him? Will you manage to remain conscious as your body is used again and again like the cumrag you always wanted to become? Find out by the end of this Dungeon of Interspecies Harmony! Ishtar out!”

And with that, the golden glow of the ray of light falling upon the jewel-encrusted goblet (and maybe I shouldn’t use the word ‘encrusted,’ given the name I just heard) dims and loses something ethereal. Something majestic. Something otherworldly.

Like Hell it does!

“This is stupid,” I say.

“Very,” Yunyun, for once, agrees in using something derogatory to refer to someone else. Which is quite a sign of character growth, given that Megumin usually doesn’t get even a single tongue-lashing for all the bullshit she pulls against her heterosexual life partner in yuri romance (even if she did get a few tongue-lashings quite recently for entirely different reasons).

Truly, only a goddess could accomplish the superhuman feat of making Yunyun glare with disdain at anything.

… It kinda is turning me on.

“Ah! Mister Kazuma!” she, for some unfathomable reason surely entirely unrelated to my now rigid cock slapping her fascinatingly elastic derriere, yelps as she quickly turns around from glaring at the piece of divine treasure to staring up at me with wide eyes.

“I mean… Stupid or not, we should overcome the trial,” I say with the kind of sheepish tone that would have me rub the back of my neck if I wasn’t too busy groping her ass and massaging soothing circles into her back.

“Wha—I don’t want to be a cumrag!”

“I never said you did.”

“I—even if I want you to keep holding me against your body, even if I want you to take as much pleasure from me as you can, I don’t want you to… to look down on me!”

“Right, that’s what Darkness is for.”

“Don’t be mean!”

“She’s Darkness.”

Yunyun opens her mouth in defiant reply.

Then she thinks about what and who she’s arguing for, and her mouth audibly closes as she looks away with a fierce blush and petulant pout.

“Ah!” she yelps as my cock slaps her yet again.

“This is not my fault! You can’t blame me for you being adorable enough that I get heart boners!”

“Those are not a thing!”

“Of course they are! Let me show you!” I say.

And then I turn her around so that her back is flush against my chest, and my cock sticks from between her thighs, nestled against her lower, wet lips hard enough that she muffles a gasped moan as I grab her with a hand under each knee (and resist the urge to ask her for the traditional double victory signs). And I walk forward.

To the Cum Goblet.

… That is a disgusting name.

Still, the divine artifact is kind of sparkly at the moment, and I must suppose a certain level of heavenly homemaking has been involved in making it look even remotely like something that could belong in a dungeon with a less preposterous premise, so…

So I walk up to it, step into the raised dais it’s set into, and lean down so that Yunyun can stare into the reflective depths of the smooth gold cup that reaches more or less up to my navel.

So that she can look at herself.

“You are beautiful,” I whisper in her ear.

She, for some mysterious reason, closes her eyes, leans back to press her head against my chest, moans, and shudders in a rippling wave that ends with her hips jerking along my cock.

“You are beautiful,” I repeat. “And it’s not even about your gorgeous breasts or generous hips. It’s not about those mysterious eyes of yours. It’s not about tender lips I want to capture between my own. It’s not even about how you look when you come. It’s… You. Just you.”

Her shudder renews, her breasts shaking as her wetness spreads over my member.

I kiss up her neck and along the ridge of her left ear before, in as husky a voice as I can manage, I deliver the final line:

“You are beautiful because of who you are. Because of your heart.”

And Yunyun…

Her lips tense, open yet thin against her clenched teeth as her eyelids tighten, and a low hiss escapes her as she arches her back until I’m only touching the back of her knees with my hands, of her head with my chest, and her sex with mine.

And then, maintaining the tense arc, she… shudders.

Once.

Twice.

And slumps against me.

I… blink in confusion.

“Did you just…?” I try to ask.

She, her cheeks as crimson as her clan, eyes still closed, shakes her head as she makes cute, frustrated noises.

“Yunyun, I… Did you really—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she mutters.

“Did you just cum—”

“I did! You… You started talking so nice and tender, and you’ve been so good to me since we entered, and I’m still sensitive from earlier, and, and, and—aaaaahhhhh! You’ll think I’m a slut! That I’m only doing this for your body! You’re going to hate me and throw me away because I’m not—”

And I kiss her.

I shove my long tongue past her lips as her panicked eyes meet mine, and keep twisting it inside her mouth, licking her, tasting her until she stops struggling and her panicked eyes relax and lid as she finally returns my kiss, going from frantic to languid as she rests an open hand on my bare chest that makes my cock throb harder than any RPG Maker game ever managed.

“I’ll never throw you away,” I breathe out over her lips while keeping her eyes captive.

“You will. Everybody does—”

“Look,” I say as I hold her over the goblet so that she can look into the golden mirror that is its bottom. So that she can look at the girl with the disheveled black hair and glowing crimson eyes.

“I… I don’t know what I’m looking at…”

“I told you earlier, remember? ‘Show me how beautiful you are when you cum.’”

“I am not—eeep!” she squeaks when I interrupt her by licking up her cheek.

“This is the taste of a liar,” I grumble ominously.

“Wha—what does that even mean?!”

“It’s a literary reference from my home world. Very sophisticated. Don’t worry; not many who aren’t true scholars would know of it.”

“That—you’re messing with me.”

“I am,” I tell her, my tone not entirely steady. “Because… it’s hard, you know? To be so honest without a joke to take the edge off it. And… And you are beautiful. You. As a person, Yunyun, you… you make me feel bad about how unlike you I am. Because… Because you are so brave, and… And you keep trying where I gave up. You are… I should resent you for being so much better than me. For being the kind of person that I wanted to be and failed to become. I should… I should not admire you and love you as I—why are you looking at me like that?”

Yunyun is breathing… kinda fast.

“You said it,” she mutters.

“What?”

“You… before, when we… when you took me. You said you loved me. And I thought that was one of those things you say in the moment, like Megumin when—never mind! But you said it again, and I… I…”

She looks at me with a wide smile, with tears in the corners of her eyes, with her hand still resting on my chest over a heart that keeps speeding up with every second.

And I…

I said it, didn’t I?

“I mean… you’re you,” I tell her, and not just because I’m entirely too bashful to explain with more elaborate phrasing now that she’s making this a thing. Not at all. Whoever heard of a bashful orc? My species is above such petty concerns. Orcs do what they will, and societal norms are beneath their concern or even notice, for how could they be magnificent rape beasts if they cared even an iota for the opinions of lesser men?

And women, I guess.

But, really, I’m not saying anything else mostly because Yunyun keeps looking at me with such pure eyes that it’s hard to come up with something that will top ‘This is the taste of a liar.’

…

Maybe ‘The next thing you’re going to say is—’

“I love you,” she says.

“What,” I reflexively answer.

“You’re…” She blushes and looks away, but then she forces herself to look back straight at me. To show me that resolve that she sometimes lets out when she isn’t flustered or panicked, or reduced to tears at Megumin being Megumin. “You’re brave. And smart. And kind. And funny. And… And that doesn’t matter because love isn’t about what you are, but who you are, or it should be, and… and I don’t know what else to say other than you make me feel good about being me. That I… that I like the person you see me as, even if I’m not her. That… Mister Kazuma, I…”

“Kazuma,” I tell her before licking my dry lips.

“What?”

“Just… Just call me Kazuma. No ‘Mister.’”

“Ka—Kazuma? Eeeep!”

“Sorry! It’s a physiological response! Just a momentary heart boner!”

“That is notyour heart!”

“I mean, close enough!”

“You—this is a moment, Mi—Kazuma! Hn!”

“Stop doing that if you don’t want my cock to go rigid against your pussy!”

“I never said I didn’t want it!”

“That’s it! You just earned a corrective dicking!”

“A what?!”

For some mysterious reason, there’s no follow-up line to that.

Yes, my dick is currently named Mysterious Reason; why do you ask?

Also, Yunyun is tight.

As in, at this juncture in our relationship, I’m at least passably familiar with how she feels in… some of her available orifices. How warm, wet, tender she can be when wrapped around me.

But… But now my tip is poking just past her entrance, and she’s gasping almost silently as the muscles on her thighs quiver between my fingers as she struggles to keep herself up, above the rest of the shaft waiting to spread her open, her head leaning back over my shoulder, her cheek on my neck, her lips right below my left ear.

“I… Kazuma, I…” she struggles to say.

So I, contrary to my own interests, because that’s the kind of selfless martyr that I am…

Lift her up.

She’s no longer struggling, and my tip is pulsing against her entrance as she keeps clenching down on me, almost kissing me, as the rest of her body relaxes in my hold as her small back warms my whole chest.

“Yes?” I finally ask the girl with closed eyes and a soft smile.

“I love you,” she whispers. “I love that you love me. I love that you can make me believe it. And I… I want you to make love to me.”

Then she turns toward me, kisses my cheek, reaches up to grab my nape with both hands and slowlyslides down my chest to lower herself on my cock.

My knees all but quiver when I feel her. When indifferent air is pushed aside by amorous flesh slowly taking more and more of me inside her, never quite stopping even if she sometimes slows down as she breathes in deeply enough that I feel the pressure around me shift.

Then she lets the air out, sometimes with a moan, sometimes with another enticing purr, sometimes in a quick gasp, and she descends that much faster until, at last, she has to lean forward, only her round behind pressing against my belly so that she can take all of me in, so that her lower lips can kiss around the root of my eager cock.

I… I still hold her below her knees, but I’m hunched over, forward, so that she can hang from my neck as she arches her whole body with me inside of her, and so we end up peering over the rim of the gigantic goblet, and I can see her distorted reflection tinted in gold. I can see her darkened cheeks, her open, relaxed, triumphantsmile, her eyes closed in a dream that she’s inviting me into.

“Kazuma,” she breathes out, each entrancing syllable molded by beautiful lips that gold sends back to me. “Kazuma, make me feel loved.”

So I…

I hesitate.

Because… Because I’m not good at this. I’m not somebody who… I’m good at comebacks. I’m good at snark. I’m good at ranting about useless goddesses and insane party members.

I’m good at a lot of things.

Excellent, even.

But… But this is important.

And I don’t know if I’m good enough.

“How could anybody not ever love you?” I whisper, my voice rough, my hot breath washing over her exposed neck as her black hair parts despite her twin tails still being unmade, the line of white peeking between shimmering strands as well defined as it was before two dungeon trials and one…

One…

We already made love, didn’t we?

I try to suppress my own flushed cheeks, but the orc on the bottom of the goblet looks back at me with a darkened complexion even more contrasting than that of Yunyun’s, and it’s clear there’re still parts of my orcish legacy I’m not fully in control of.

“I… I’m not who you think. I’m not that good, that noble, that… Kazuma, I don’t know how I’ve fooled you, but… I like it. I like that you believe it, so, please, just for today, as you take me… keep believing it. Keep believing the lying me,” she says, staring right into the eyes of that flustered orc surrounded by gold.

And it is stupid.

It is farcical.

It is preposterous that we’re having this conversation over a thing I’m meant to fill up with my soon-to-be drained and sore balls.

But, you know what? Since I came to this stupid, farcical, preposterous world, since Aqua was stupid enough to taunt me into dragging her along with me, since I became an adventurer who would make any isekai protagonist and his bland harem cry… There have been plenty of stupid, farcical, preposterous moments that I would not give up for anything in the world.

And Yunyun smiling into the Cum Goblet with more happiness than I’ve ever seen in her eyes without a naked Megumin around is one of those moments.

So I move.

Slowly, savoring every part of her as I pull out and feel her cling to me, clench right under my very tip, struggling not to let me go as her fingers dig into my nape.

Then I push forward, and she sucks me right back in, welcoming me with a broadening smile.

“You are a very bad liar, Yunyun,” I tell her before licking inside her ear with a pointed, elongated tongue as her eyelids flutter.

“Wha—”

“You can only lie to yourself,” I say, cutting her off.

And then I push up with my hips, hard enough that her breasts bounce as her jaw drops open and her tongue peeks past her lips.

“You areadorable. You are noble. And you are very, very fuckable,” I reassure her as she tries to compose herself.

“I—that doesn’t make me happy!”

“See? Such a bad liar,” I tell her with a grin that spreads past my tusks.

And Yunyun, flushed in something that may contain indignation, turns to look at me rather than at my reflection, her shoulders straining and her back doing wonderfully aesthetic things as she keeps holding herself up by her hold on my neck even as she contorts to face me.

So, right before she can fire off her dignified riposte, I kiss her.

My tongue once again rushes past her lips, and they close around me immediately, squeezing around me almost as tightly as her lower ones do on my cock still buried inside of her. Then she kisses me back, caressing the intruder in her mouth, sucking on me, inviting more and more of me in until she coaxes me past the entrance to her throat, and I thrust both above and below, her whole body rippling as if trying to twist around the axis I provide for her but undecided on which direction to turn into, moving left and right almost erratically until she focuses enough to open her crimson eyes and stare back at me once again.

So I quickly pull out and rush back in, both above and below, just to get the immense pleasure of staring as she closes her eyes once again due to the overwhelming pleasure crashing inside and through her.

This is, of course, entirely altruistic. It’s not like Yunyun’s astonishingly beautiful body is giving me at least as much pleasure as I’m getting from her, and so I myself struggle to set a rhythm and keep it when she finally tenses her soft thighs and starts moving along with my hips, her ass lightly caressing my belly at first until a muffled groan escapes both of our lips and her brow furrows, her movements speeding up insistently, her ass no longer caressing, but clapping against me.

Asking for more.

And, of course, being the true gentleman that I am, I give it to her.

The round cave with brown, smooth rock walls fades away. The Cum Goblet glinting with all the hues of the gems set on its outer side disappears. The cone of golden light illuminating the scene becomes irrelevant except where it lights up Yunyun’s pale, flushed skin beaded with sweat born out of effort and passion.

And there’s only a girl who wants to be loved and an orc who wants to love her.

She sucks harder on my tongue, swallowing around it, massaging me as thoroughly as she can manage, and her hips go from moving fast and hard to bouncing, to her entire body moving along my shaft as fast as she can manage until she crashes back down against my body and resorts to short yet even faster movements that keep building up and up to something I’m pretty sure is unavoidable.

So I pull out my tongue and share a hot, humid breath with Yunyun as we stare into each other’s eyes.

“Cum,” I order her. “Cum and show me how beautiful you are.”

Her eyelids flutter, yet they never close entirely as her ragged breaths wash over my wet lips.

And then she can no longer hold back, and her back goes rigid as she trembles around me, within my grasp, and howls in a way that…

That drags me along with her.

So I stare at her. At how utterly stunning she looks when carried away and free from her worries and anxieties. At how much I’m making her feel, and something inside of me clenches right before it releases.

So, again, I cum inside Yunyun.

The first jet of scalding semen catches both of us by surprise, and her howl cuts off right before it picks back up and redoubles in intensity as something elsealso redoubles, as I keep filling her up with more and more seed until it spurts out of her tight seal around me, dripping down my convulsing balls with each renewed load of sheer ecstasy inside the girl who, somehow, still hasn’t run out of air.

I take it as a challenge.

So my hands quickly go from beneath her knees to her hips, and I jerk myself off with her body, forcing her up and down even faster than she moved under her own efforts, until, finally, mouth still wide open, she goes silent as I thrust one last, draining time inside of her and she convulses before her hands slip limply from my neck and Yunyun falls forward.

She manages to grab the rim of the goblet before I can react, and so I stare at Yunyun’s tense back arching and relaxing as she tries to do… something. Something that coincides with raspy gasps and convulsions along my entire length as she squirms between my hands and tries to push herself upright and almost falls yet again when she inadvertently milks the final burst of semen out of me.

And when I manage to open my eyes yet again, I… I am kind of transfixed.

Just a teensy bit, you understand.

As in, each bead of sweat set over the dancing muscles along her spine glitters with soft, golden hues that turn into pure iridescence with every mesmerizing shift in angle, and I’m finally hit with her scent. With the raw perfume of both her exertion and arousal, of Yunyun’s soft aroma turned into something harsher, deeper. Something that makes my flagging cock harden and pulse—

“Hn!” she lets out, both her insides and her hands on the goblet’s rim tightening in response to me.

…

This is unfair.

Yunyun is unfair. She cheats. She definitely cheats.

And so, I’m perfectly justified in doing anything in my power to win.

Win what, you ask?

Well…

“How loved do you feel right now?” I say, leaning right over her, past her shoulder, by the side of her head hanging limply, her long hair not even halfway down to the bottom of the goblet.

She, completely unfairly, and thus validating my thesis, shudders.

“I think that means ‘Not enough, Master Kazuma, please love me until I can’t use my legs like Megumin the Legendary Quick Shot,’” I tell her with an almost painful groan as her warm folds keep making my recently finished orgasm send echoes of mind-numbing… everything.

“What?” she asks. No longer shuddering.

And slowly turning to look right at me.

… I may have miscalculated. In my defense, I was balls-deep inside Yunyun at the moment, and thus my judgment was clearly impaired.

For reasons.

No, not feelings. Reasons. Those are two entirely different things.

“I… Maybe I shouldn’t mention other women when I’m making love to you?” I ask just to clarify this entirely unexpected issue that no one could have ever predicted.

And Yunyun… sighs.

“I love her,” she says.

“Ah,” I intelligently answer.

And Yunyun bites her lip before looking back down at our reflections at the bottom of the goblet.

“It’s… I don’t know. I don’t know if… For the longest time, I just wanted to chase after her, and be with her, and… And I don’t know what that means. If it’s… It islove, but it could be any kind of love, and it would still fit, as long as… as long as she accepted me.”

So, after peering into the dark reflection of something that should be blazing crimson yet is far more subdued, I close my eyes and sigh.

I allow my right hand to roam up, to caress Yunyun right below the curve of her hanging breasts, while I keep holding her up by her hips.

And then I pull her up.

Her back is once more flush against my body, once more filling that spot in front of my chest I never realized could be so perfectly covered by a beautiful girl.

Or by a girl who is beautiful, no matter how she looks.

My hand snakes up between her breasts without delaying on them, just to brush her disheveled hair aside and to free dark crimson so I can stare right into it.

She holds her breath. I don’t know why.

Even if I want to be right in my guess.

“Yunyun… Megumin doeslove you. She’s… She wouldn’t have allowed everything that happened between you two if she didn’t. She wouldn’t have shared her first time with you. She… You knowher. You know how prickly the damn shortstack can be. You know how hard it is for her to admit to being close to anyone. And… And you know that she would murder me if I ever hurt you. And that’s with me being pretty sure that she’s also, for some bizarre yet entirely rational reason, in love with me.”

Yunyun blinks at me in something cute that may, or not, be utter incomprehension of my rambling attempts at reassuring her.

Then she giggles, cups my cheek, and leans up to brush her lips against mine.

“I… I may have to talk. With her,” she says.

“Yeah. Talking,” I say, not at all just repeating what she just said because she fried my brain with her latest show of affection.

Then she giggles again, squirms, and manages to get half of me out of her before stopping as her back convulses yet again.

At that moment, by sheer serendipity, some of the cum I just shot inside her drips out of her and to the goblet below, the loud ringing of the heavy fluid on solid gold echoing inside the cavern.

And as soon as it does, the golden light redoubles in intensity, and a stupidly cheerful voice announces that…

“Nice try! Well, no, the opposite of nice. This is the pre-recorded message for a failed attempt; please continue to strive to fill the entire Cum Goblet! Don’t worry, the aphrodisiac—I mean, the fluid from the pool in the previous trial is nourishing enough that you won’t starve through the process!”

That.

Yes. The voice announces that.

Yunyun and I stare down at the dollops of my cum vanishing into spiraling motes of light until the goblet is once more pristine.

Then at one another.

Then the archmage with the Int stat to show for it does a quick mental calculus, blanches, and almost faints, only my quick orcish reflexes (when it comes to female adventurers about to escape my grasp) stopping her from falling forward and into a goblet I’d rather not stick anything other than cum into.

“This… may take a while,” I say, the understatement almost majestic in its colossal magnitude.

And, for the second time in my life, I get the rare pleasure of seeing Yunyun glare.

This time, at me.

… It’s every bit as good as I imagined.

***

“Okay,” a kneeling, blushing, still very naked Yunyun, who, for some reason, has styled her hair back into her usual braid and twin tails, says to my cockhead.

“Okay?” a standing, rock-hard, hyperdosed-on-hentai-aphrodisiacs orc answers.

Oh, right, that’s me.

It’s kinda hard to realize with how many magical drugs are rushing through my bloodstream.

Also, dear father and mother, I regret to inform you that your son has finally taken the last step in becoming an NTR, tanned, muscled villain: drug-fueled mindbreak. I also regret to inform you that your son is dumb enough that he mixed up the classic formula and took the drugs himself rather than use them on the no-longer innocent girl with a childhood friend crush waiting for her outside the rape dungeon and trusting that their bonds will be strong enough that absolutely nothing that can be mailed to her so that she can cry and masturbate to a video of it will happen.

Yup.

Also, dear mother and father, I regret to inform you that your son just realized he’s been NTRing Megumin, the Explosion-maniac I’ve told you so much about in past letters, and thus will soon die at her hands.

Again.

…

Hopefully, things with Eris will go more smoothly this time around. I still need to reassure her that I don’t mind if she pads her chest.

“Mis—Kazuma?” Yunyun asks, her eyes drifting up from the aggressive dollop of precum threatening to spill over and to my unfocused gaze.

“Yeessss?” I answer in an entirely cogent manner.

She takes a deep breath that does marvelously distracting things to her chest, puffs her cheeks, slaps them in what I think to be a way to gather courage, and finally looks back up at me.

“I… I am going to mind-break you,” she says with sheer shounen determination.

Then, as I blink down in sheer stupidity at her, she repeats the terrible incantation I was subjected to… not that long ago, actually. Maybe yesterday morning? Is it already today or is it still yesterday? Oh, look, eldritch runes of shadow and crimson are roaming the entirety of the cave and up my body. How pretty.

Also, is it just me, or are there some weird dogs lurking on the edges of the angles between time and space?

Must be my imagination.

Right.

Like the many cocks I have right now. Yup. Those sound like entirely imaginary cocks.

“Blessing of Priapus,” Yunyun mutters as a flash of hentai pink light races up each and every single one of my cocks and flare on their tips as my multiple members enlarge with throbbing need.

“Thespius hospitality,” she chants as something sets in my balls, and I have to spread my feet wider apart to accommodate their new size.

Yes, I’m manspreading. Fuck off.

“Yukikaze’s Fall,” she states, her blazing eyes meeting mine as something spreads over my skin, something that makes me feel as if a thousand tongues are lapping at the entirety of my body until I realize that that’s just the almost still air inside the cave brushing past me.

My eyes widen in sheer panic, and Yunyun slowly reaches up to lightly tease my first cock with the tip of her tongue.

A bolt of pure sensationcrushes my thoughts, and I fall on my knees; then the touch of the smooth stone dais on them makes my eyes roll back, and I end up on my back, looking dumbly at the ceiling above me.

With Yunyun standing up, straddling my prostrate body and looking down at me, biting her lip, spreading her labia with two fingers as her scent assaults me once more right before a single tear of arousal drips down past her fingertip and falls on top of my aching erection, making me bite my own lip and muffle something guttural as pure white flashes behind my eyelids.

Before I can recover, Yunyun lowers herself, the heat of her body hitting me before her touch, and she—

Everything fades away. Every single thought. Everything that isn’t Yunyun.

Yunyun lowering herself until she reaches the halfway point of my dick.

Yunyun grabbing one of my waving tentacles and stuffing it down her throat until it bulges in a way that begs for a ‘Snap My Choker’ t-shirt.

Yunyun bringing two tentacles to her rigid nipples, rubbing the tips on them until instinct takes over, and they wrap and squeeze around each round globe.

Yunyun leaning over me, the very tips of her breasts, the only part of them uncovered by roaming, insistent, mind-numbing tentacles, tracing lines of fire on my body as she reaches behind her and guides another tentacle between her cheeks, above the one she’s riding with small, circular motions of her generous hips until my body betrays me yet again and I piston in and out of both her offered holes in an alternating rhythm that has her eyes roll back, but doesn’t stop her.

Yunyun squeezing two tentacles between her armpits, the phallic appendages brushing past the sides of her soft breasts with every thrust as she catches two more with her hands and jerks them off as fast as she can as I keep fucking her almost despite myself, feeling her ass and pussy convulse around me, her throat squeeze me, her breasts yield to my pressure as a third tentacle thrusts between them entirely on its own.

Then she moves her legs in a way I can’t quite understand, and suddenly, another tentacle is being squeezed between the soles of her feet to the rhythm that my cocks inside of her force her body to rock back and forth.

And she sucks as hard as she can on the cock inside her mouth before pulling back, dragging her lips past almost rigid, protruding veins before she shoots a smoldering glance at me, smiling in a way that is far more confident than I’ve ever seen on her before she kisses my dripping tip and smears every single drop of precum on her now glossy lips.

“Well, Kazuma? Are you mind-broken already?” she asks with a mischievous glint in her crimson eyes.

And…

Look, the magic aphrodisiac? All right, my brain is as scrambled as a Shin Megami Tensei metaphysics lecture, but I can take that.

The tentacles? Been there, done that.

The magic enhancement of every single aspect of my sexuality? … Fine, that’s rough but still manageable.

Yunyun trying to domme me?

Everybody has limits.

So I let out a roar that would make my orcish ancestors proud if they were entirely unaware of every surrounding circumstance that has brought it into being, and grasp the small waist of the archmage with both hands, the feeling of her smooth skin on my palms magnified in a way that could bring me to my knees just by itself.

And. I. Stand.

“Ka—Kazuma?!”

I could say a lot of things to answer that panicked gaze.

Except that’s a lie, because all my available mental resources are now devoted to withstanding the assault of Yunyun’s body on every single one of my senses.

And so there’s a single thing I can tell her:

“Mine.”

Her eyes shoot wide open, and I fuck her.

Her armpits and hands briefly loosen on four cocks before she reflexively tightens against them when my cock exits her pussy as the other one shoots as far inside her ass as it can go.

Then I do the opposite, and her head falls back, her throat exposed as she seems to silently pray as I visibly move inside of her, her body rippling with every thrust, with every lust-driven motion of me against her.

And then I can resist no more and lean forward to take her offered neck between my lips, my tusks grazing her skin without getting any purchase as goosebumps race up her entire body under the tentacles surrounding her, touching every single part of her body, spiraling down her arms and up her legs, digging into the soft flesh of her thighs, the sensation magnified enough as to be even more intense than when I was shoving my cock between them, pressed between the yielding skin and up into her warm, accepting pussy lips.

The lips I’m thrusting in and out of.

And then I can’t hold back anymore, and I do break, because there’s nothing but Yunyun moaning, and bouncing, and clenching.

“Kazuma!”

And yelling my name.

Then she stops, goes rigid, grasps me as hard as she can, and says nothing else as she all but vibrates.

And I fill her.

I thrust an already ejaculating tentacle inside her mouth, down her throat, and she swallows it eagerly, taking everything I have to offer with thirst and hunger as she milks me down below, as her hands race up and down twin lengths, as her whole body devotes itself to pleasuring me, to squeezing every single drop of magically available seed I can give her.

This time, I don’t count the bursts of sperm, the jets of sheer ecstasy, the number of times my thoughts are drowned in pure, blinding white light brought about by Yunyun.

Because I lose count. Because it all blurs together. Because it doesn’t fucking matter as long as I can give her more.

So I do.

And the last thing I remember is Yunyun smiling vacantly, eyes lost somewhere far away, lips tight around my spurting tentacle.

And I could swearI get a hint of glowing pink hearts amid the crimson of her eyes.

It may be the drugs, though.

***

“Wha…” I manage to half-croak out as a dripping liquid wakes me up.

The dripping liquid, as it turns out, is a tentacle spurting something in mid-air.

Something that falls onto the floor of the cave.

The cave that… is kind of a pool at the moment.

I blink my eyes blearily, trying to force them open all the way despite their lacking cooperation, stunned to realize that I’m somehow still standing up after having blacked out due to Yunyun going all out with both her spell catalog and her Yunyunness, and I finally manage to see that, yes, the cave is flooded up to my knees.

In cum.

In what my prodigious Int stat leads me to believe is my own cum.

Cum that isn’t inside the damn Cum Goblet.

Yunyun is unconscious, held up by a nest of tentacles gently cradling her peacefully sleeping body, and I…

All right, maybe this isn’t as bad as it looks, maybe I haven’t fucked Yunyun past her HP threshold, and maybe we haven’t failed this last trial due to overenthusiasm in how to tackle the—

Yunyun turns in her sleep to amorously nuzzle one of my tentacles, and it cums a thin jet of sperm that arches over her and splashes somewhere over the now-covered dais.

I clench my teeth, try not to hiss loud enough to wake her up, and step toward the goblet.

Which is when Yunyun apparently regresses to her infancy and sucks another tentacle into her mouth, making me immediately regret the line ‘Regresses to her infancy.’

And causing a couple of adjacent tentacles to happily cum in mid-air.

Into the goblet.

The overflowing goblet.

A triumphant melody that would make Square Enix call up the lawyers echoes around the round cave as the light once more redoubles in intensity, and my orcish eyebrow, the one that still needs to make up for the gains accrued by my main eyebrow, twitches.

“Congratulations! This is a new high score! You have passed the final test with flying colors and made future generations of orcish challengers green with envy! Heh. Green. Get it? I crack myself up. Anyway! This truly epic feat deserves the greatest recompense the Dungeon of Interspecies Harmony has to offer!”

I look at the cone of golden light illuminating a goblet that is, at the moment, entirely deserving of the adjective ‘encrusted.’

Then my eyelids decide to join in on the exercising regime of their upstairs neighbors and twitch in harmonious rhythm as the Goddess of Being a Chump in Danmachi pauses for an entirely too long dramatic effect.

Then, fucking finally, and right as Yunyun turns around and stretches in a way that ends up giving me a sleepy double titfuck, the light blazes bright enough to ripple over the pool of cum covering the floor and all of it vanishes, leaving it once more technically encrusted, yet no longer grossly so.

And something falls inside of it with a metallic sound.

I get the impression that the Goddess of Being Tohsaka Rin Without Absolute Territory wants me to check out the reward before she announces what it is, and so I resign myself to step forward, onto the slippery dais, and look at…

A DVD box.

A DVD box with Yunyun’s happy, ahegaoed face as its cover.

“Congratulations! The true treasure of the dungeon was the friends you made along the way!” the voice of the Goddes of Being Strangled by Furious, Bankrupted Rape Orcs says.

And then the whole room fades away in a swirl of golden motes of light, and I’m suddenly standing outside.

Naked.

With an unconscious Yunyun nestled between my tentacles.

And a DVD box in my hands.

Also, surrounded by four adventurers who are trying to stand up in readiness with varying degrees of success.

Yes, that means that Aqua just tripped and fell on her face. Which, incidentally, means she’s flashing me her pantyless bottom for reasons that I’m sure are perfectly reasonable.

“Wha—Yunyun!”Megumin cries out as she rushes past me and toward my tentacles to check on the girl she’s definitely not tsundere for.

… I feel kinda neglected.

And no, I don’t understand what Darkness gets out of it.

Speaking of, while Wiz checks the perimeter for any possible threats that may come out of the once again sealed dungeon, showing why she’s the only competent adventurer in this party other than myself (and also showing a somewhat enticing violet flush as she refuses to meet my eyes), Darkness…

Darkness fidgets.

And finally, with the kind of blush that would be worrying in any other girl and panic-inducing in my most masochistic girlfriend, she steps toward me, her hands behind her back, and digs the tip of her boot into the dark soil in front of the dungeon’s entrance.

She meets my eyes once. Twice.

And then…

“You… aren’t you going to ask?” she says, the words muttered and almost inaudible.

I blink at her in incomprehension.

She pouts. In sincere dejection.

And I get a flash of insight that, at any other time, when horny magics weren’t still wreaking merry havoc on my cruelly abused brain, would surely drive me to despair rather than to a wicked smile.

Yes, this is all Yunyun’s fault. Despite Yunyun being too precious and nothing ever being her fault.

So, because of the fault of faultless Yunyun and absolutely due to nothing else, I grasp the DVD with my left hand and offer my right one palm up to my first deranged girlfriend.

And then I seal our first covenant:

“Darkness, hand me your panties,” I tell her. Like I promised her I would demand in front of Aqua, thus making this a literally sacred oath, seeing as it was witnessed by an actual goddess.

Look at you, Aqua; you and your peeping fetish are being useful, after all.

Also, you’re kind of staring up with wide eyes as Darkness flushes a deeper shade of red, wiggles her hips while poking the tips of her forefingers together, and…

And raises the miniskirt of her adventuring winter attire, her hands going under it, her hips swaying side to side as she lowers down and down, a piece of glittering black fabric sliding down her tights until she steps out of it and, both hands stretching each leg hole, she offers her freshly worn panties to me.

Then, triumphantly and tempted to add a mental soundtrack blaring inside my drug-addled head that would make Square Enix add me to the lawsuit for copyright infringement already filed against the Goddess of Appearing in Far Too Many NTR Doujins, I reach for the second treasure I earned in this dungeon run.

…

“Tata tataaa ta tantan tatan!” I say.

For some mysterious reason, all my conscious party members stare at me.

I’m pretty sure that, this time around, Mysterious Reason is not my penis.