Hello (Patreon)

Hey guys, sorry for the absence.

Shits happened, It’s 39*C here and my AC was broken, had to go to Starbuck to work but I can't really do much NSFW stuff there.

My former game company where I worked for 3 years without any achievement suddenly hit the jackpot with a title I worked on before. Most of the members in that project got a chance to work in Japan. Man, I spend all my 20s to get a chance to go there, all my college friends are already working in japan, the peer pressure was so bad to the point I had to ghost all those guys. And isn’t it funny just when I gave up programming to pursue art, the chance showed up?

That company did reach out and give me an offer to come back again and go to japan. But coming back after half a year off seem so f*cking pathetic to me, also working as a self-employed artist kinda f*ck me up because I don't think I can work under all those crunches, deadline, and heavy pressure environment now. The work there is NFT-related which I don't have any interest in too. So I decided to turn down the offer and probably gonna ghost all my co-workers there too, cuz watching them building a meaningful carrier in japan while myself being an nsfw artist in a shithole country is probably not healthy at all lol. The company kinda understands my problem so they are willing to give me a slot to come back whenever I want,  but I doubt I will ever take that offer.

Adding to that, my favorite vtuber retired lol. I used to cringe at this vtuber stuff but since I quit my job to do this full time and ghosted all those people I know, I basically became a shut-in, so watching vtuber while drawing is one of the things that keeps me sane, because of that her retirement hit me pretty hard lol.

So yeah, my sanity was really low so I drank a lot these past few days. So I couldn’t push out anything, sorry.

But in the end, looking back, I think my life now is not that bad lol. I do the thing I love, it made a decent income, and I will be the one responsible for the outcome of my life now, no boss, no RNG, just me and my brush. Going to Japan is more like an unhealthy obsession than a realistic goal, a sunk cost fallacy due to I spent nearly a decade learning and working to go there, peer pressure also plays a big part, but I don't think I will have as much freedom as now if I really go there to work.

My goal now is to draw like a madman and become a godlike artist, shit out as much animation as possible, and save up enough money for a 1 month trip to Japan, better than having to give up drawing and working 8 to 6 there as an NFT trash programmer lol

Sorry for the long rant in broken English, I just want to vent out a bit haha.

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Animation-related question: I got some comments where people say my dialogues are cringes (that cockroach animation for example), so do you guys prefer it without the dialogues? Writing out then editing in dialogues takes some time so if you guys don't like it I can reduce the number of dialogues and speed up drawing.