Maximal Ep. 434 | Breaking Cycles (Patreon)

The Minimalists speak with Dr. Nicole LePera about letting go of the idea of what we thought a relationship would be, how to cease self-loathing, helping a parent in an abusive relationship, dealing with conflict in relationships, finding balance when partners have different lifestyles and preferences, breaking the cycle of trauma, how to feel like you’re enough, “healthy” anger, and more!

Discussed in this episode:

How can I let go of the idea of what I thought a relationship should be? (02:04)

How can I cease self-loathing? (18:27)

How can I help improve my parents’ relationship? (31:55)

How can I navigate conflict in my relationships? (44:00)

Why do I treat my girlfriend the way I saw my dad treat my mom? (01:00:30)

Why don’t I feel like enough? (01:13:45)

How is anger self-protection? (01:19:40)

LINKS

Book: Emotional Clutter

Book: How to Be the Love You Seek

Subscribe: The Minimalists' Newsletter

Tour: The Everything Tour

Website: SelfHealersCircle.com

Website: TheHolisticPsychologist.com

MAXIMS

Unpleasant emotions are an indicator of the incongruity between reality and your wishes.

Peace arises when your wishes map on to reality.

Tears are a byproduct of letting go after an extended period of clinging.

When we notice the imperfections in others, we are merely seeing a mirror that reflects our own flaws.

The residue of the past discolors the present moment.

You can’t show someone heaven if they enjoy their self-constructed hell.

Conflict is the manifestation of the ego and its insecurities.

Similarities increase comfort in a relationship; differences add variety.

Unresolved trauma will continue to echo throughout the rest of your life.

“Worthiness” isn’t the finish line—it’s the starting point.

You were born complete, you will die complete, and the only thing that will incomplete you in between are the stories you adopt about your inadequacies.

FOLLOW OUR TEAM

Joshua Fields Millburn

Ryan Nicodemus

T.K. Coleman

Malabama

Professor Shawn

Danny Unknwn

Post-Production Peter