"The Light Triad" (Patreon)

Joshua and Ryan discuss how to appropriately address our mental health challenges with author, podcaster, and psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb, and they answer the following questions:

How does trauma affect different people differently? (00:00)

How toxic is shame? (05:50)

How is being proud of our accomplishments problematic? (07:36)

What is “cherophobia”? (18:13)

Is our labeling of narcissism too broad? (25:08)

Is there an appropriate way to use people? (29:22)

What is the “light triad”? (33:50)

How do we reciprocate appropriately in relationships? (35:03)

What is “forced forgiveness”? (39:58)

What is the primary job of parents? (43:41)

What is the “good enough parent”? (44:17)

What is “rupture and repair”? (44:34)

How can parents who want the best for their children treat them badly? (48:45)

What is the common misconception people have regarding boundaries? (55:36)

How do you help someone who you know is struggling with anxiety or depression, while maintaining your own self-care? (57:33)

What is a “help-rejecting complainer”? (58:59)

What’s the difference between anxiety, depression, and grieving? (1:01:55)

Why should we not categorize our feelings? (1:02:34)

What is the difference between productive and unproductive anxiety? (1:06:41)

When is ‘mental health’ just a buzzword that justifies poor behavior? (1:08:50)

What signs indicate someone has become dependent on their therapist? (1:09:50)

How can I, and should I, help a loved one who is becoming increasingly despondent about life? (1:12:12)

Is depression merely a lack of a sense of meaning? (1:17:48)

What is the “all or nothing” thinking of depression? (1:19:13)

Why does Joshua care so little about The Minimalists being on the New York Times Bestseller list? (1:21:16)

How is pride an illusion? (1:25:41)

What is the most appropriate way to view accolades? (1:27:12)

What is the difference between excitement and joy? (1:29:02)

What are the two types of excitement? (1:29:21)

LINKS

Article: The Light Triad vs. the Dark Triad

Book: Everything That Remains

Book: Grieving Is Loving

Book: Love People, Use Things

Book: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Book: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Workbook

Column: Dear Therapist

Instagram: Jordan Moore

Instagram: Podcast Shawn

Instagram: Talk with Zach

Podcast: Talk to Someone

Podcast: Dear Therapists

Resources: The Minimalists

Subscribe: The Minimalists

Text: 937-202-4654

Tour: The Minimalists

Watch: Change Your Story, Change Your Life

Watch: Less Is Now

Website: Lori Gottlieb

MAXIMS

“Before diagnosing someone with depression, make sure they’re not surrounded by assholes.” —Lori Gottlieb

“Accolades don’t make our work more or less worthy, nor do they make us more or less worthy.” —Lori Gottlieb

“The pursuit of happiness is the path to our discontent.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“To love someone is to see them for who they are without trying to change them.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“People don’t come to therapy until they’re having the equivalent of an emotional heart attack.” —Lori Gottlieb

“To accept is more loving than to expect.” —Ryan Nicodemus

“Setting boundaries is a vaccine against ceaseless complainers.” —Lori Gottlieb

“Insight is the booby prize of therapy.” —Lori Gottlieb

“When you’re depressed, you’re not the best person to talk to you.” —Lori Gottlieb

“Excitement is the thief of joy.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“Don’t treat a mirage as a destination.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

This Maximal episode corresponds with Minimal episode 298.