"People Are People Too" (Patreon)

Patreon Exclusive. Joshua and Ryan discuss how we must learn to appropriately manage our relationships so they don’t control us, and they answer the following questions:

How do you appropriately manage relationships with others? (00:00)

Is wanting others to change toxic behavior? (08:03)

What friendships have you decluttered? (11:42)

How can no one make us miserable? (17:15)

What is the difference between standards and expectations? (20:34)

How can you declutter family relationships? (24:38)

How do you know when you are truly appreciated by your friends? (33:02)

Doesn’t—or shouldn’t—every relationship have an expiration date? (35:37)

How do you accept losing and moving on from a meaningful relationship? (43:49)

Why does society now promote canceling people; that is, why are we encouraged to get rid of friends instead of working through their challenges? (48:14)

If you already have friends outside of work, is there still value in finding and maintaining friendships with coworkers? (55:24)

How do I gracefully tell friends, “No, I can’t help you with that—I already have a full plate,” and how do I tactfully, but firmly, decline social invitations? (57:03)

How do I address anxiety regarding being “ghosted”? (59:14)

How can I get rid of a friend whom I cannot ignore? (1:02:04)

How do you make new friends in your 30’s and 40’s? (1:04:16)

How do we interact with toxic former friends we run into at social functions? (1:12:48)

How do you kindly encourage friends to take initiative in the communication? (1:14:43)

What do you do when you’ve become a “utility friend”; that is, a friend that is only contacted when friends need your help? (1:19:13)

What friendships did you let go of as you got closer to your partners? (1:24:18)

LINKS

Book: Fight Club

Book: Love People, Use Things

Book: Nonviolent Communication

Book: Some Thoughts About Relationships

Essay: How to Understand Your Values

Instagram: Jordan Moore

Instagram: Podcast Shawn

Instagram: Jess Williams

Meetup: Minimalist.org

Patreon: The Minimalists

Podcast: How to Love

Podcast: Obligations

Podcast: Think the Opposite

Resources: The Minimalists

Subscribe: The Minimalists

Text: 937-202-4654

Tour: The Minimalists

Watch: Less Is Now

MAXIMS

“When we’re attached to the way we want people to be, we always suffer.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“Letting go isn’t something you do, it’s something you stop doing.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“Expectations always upset our tranquility.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“Just because you share DNA with someone doesn’t mean you have to share time with them.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“A healthy relationship is one that enhances your life without trying to change the other person.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“There are three main ingredients in a healthy relationship: love, respect, and understanding.” —Ryan Nicodemus

“Don’t outsource your contentment.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“Toxic relationships are relationships that distance you from tranquility.” —Ryan Nicodemus

“In order to move on, we must let go.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

“Needing someone is not loving—it’s clinging.” —Joshua Fields Millburn

This Maximal episode corresponds with Minimal episode 288.