The Frightful Vacation of One Flops E. Bunny (Patreon)

in which our plushie hero, in the violent course of his work, becomes embroiled in something far larger than he could have expected.

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The Frightful Vacation of One Flops E. Bunny

It had been a dream come true for Freddy and her family!

An all expenses paid vacation to the greatest and most beloved theme park in all the world.

Drosselmeyer’s Dreamland

Air fare and 7 days in the park were included,

And none of them could believe their eyes when they arrived at the Hotel.

The Barren Durr International Tower.

Freddy and her family had been set up with the presidential suite,

A height which would not bother Freddy so long as she didn’t peer out of the fully encompassing windows.

It was something out of a dream.

Freddy’s Father loved it

Freddy’s mother loved it.

Freddy’s Grandmother loved it.

Freddy herself loved it.

Flops E Bunny, from inside Freddy’s Glutenous Gatling Gal BackPack

Found the whole situation unnerving.

The only point’s of entry and egress were the single elevator and the stairs

The windows left the family vulnerable to snipers.

Flops would be unable to offer proper protections inside Drosselmeyer’s

given the Human Plush Hybrids walked freely there amongst the guests

Flops knew the treaty between the plushes and the Hybrids stood irrefutable

Still it all made him nervous

Night one and two were spent on full patrol every hour the family slept

During the days as the family explored the amusements of the park

Flops slept trusting no plush could act within Drosselmyer’s domain

If only the humans knew that the giant “mascots” they loved

Were actually the result of mismanaged trickeries cast in ages long forgotten

The thought caused Flops to chuckle as he drifted to sleep

Night 3 and 4 were without incident as well.

Thus with the passing of another set of days,

Flops considered the trip was perhaps some wonderful coincidence

And allowed himself the opportunity to let his guard down

For even a stuffy sentinel deserves a moment or two of peace

4 days and nights was what Flops got.

The family would have all 7,

But only because Flops would see the next three nights as a gauntlet

That would cement his reputation amongst the plush forever.

It was during night 5, when the family returned from Dreamland once more

The Father and Mother decided they would go spend some time alone

While the Grandmother and Freddy stayed in the room

Settling in for the evening.

So Father and Mother left in fancy clothes

Grandmother drew Freddy a bath in the master bathroom

they watched cartoons in the master bedroom

Soon Freddy was well bathed, put to bed, and the Grandmother slipped into slumber in the massive chair in the living room

Flops simply laid comfortably , next to Freddy.

The massive hotel suite silent save for the television turned down to 4 in the master bedroom

…. and the sound of a squeak that implied something was slowly being unscrewed

The squeak woke Flops instantly, but he had to move slowly

He could not see the source of the sound but heard a ping as a screw hit the tiled floor of the tasting kitchen

Finally freeing himself,

Flops moved slowly to see three stuffed spiders lower themselves from a vent above the countertop

The Grandmother was asleep,

So Flops engaged.

The 3 spiders moved quietly as they sought to understand the space, but their actual objective was unknown to Flops

To him though, it did not matter.

Flops had developed a furtiveness over the generations he had acted as a guard for

His humans

So none of the intruders detected his movements as he ran off of Freddy’s bed,

Scurrying up the barstool of the wetbar,

Sprinting across its marble top,

Grabbing the corkscrew , his stride unbroken,

And diving off the counter’s ledge.

Flops buried the gleaming metal spiral up to the hilt in the fuzzy spider’s neck

The sound of the first death alerted the other two, whisky furred arachnids

A harsh gargle and whimpering squeak left the slumping stuffy

Stuffing filling it’s comically large mouth as it ceased to move

“ So we shall split the bounty 2 ways,” the Russian words from one spider came with a smirk

“ Or the bounty shall be waiting for whoever is next, “ Flops had no problem with Russian.

The purple spider jumped at Flops, all eight noodle legs seeking to find a quick controlling hold on his prey

Flops intercepted the flying thing and grabbed the closest leg just long enough to spin hard and send it flying into the couch

Before the second one could act, Flops pulled the corkscrew out of the dead hitplush and threw it with withering accuracy.

It sunk into the forehead of the blue spider who reeled backwards while fighting to remove it.

Flops turned to locate the purple spider just in time to have it run full force into him.

“ No honor amongst vermin, eh,” Flops grunted the Russian words as he struck the kick rail of the bar

“ The only honor I need is in the whole world knowing I retired Flops E Bunney,” The spider landed several strikes with his stingy appendages.

“ Before I check out, “ Flops spoke between blows, “ who signed the contract.”

“ Someone who hates you, “ The spider grunted, “ im sure that narrows it do-AHHHHH-mmm”

The moment Flops knew he wouldn’t be able to glean information, He waited for the opening, as the spider pulled back three of his legs on the right. Flops dove into the opening, turning to place his back against the spider’s stomach, and proceeded to pull his top two legs off.

The move shocked the spider long enough that Flops could follow up with another abrupt turn and a quick snapping of the spiders neck.

The blue spider had been unable to see what happened due to the stuffing that ran into its eyes. It had not heard anything fr it was too busy trying not to scream wildly during its failed attempts to remove the corkscrew. It did however feel when Flops yanked the corkscrew out of its forehead.

“ Unless you want to meet the same fate as your brothers,” Flops poured gravel inquiry into the ear oft he spider, “ im going to need a name.”

The spider swung wildly and roared,

Leaving a sizable opening for Flops to drive the corkscrew into the arachnid equivalent of a chest 8 times before stopping.

It would take Flops 5 minutes to check the spiders pockets, of which they had none, toss their lifeless bodies back down the vent they had emerged from,

Finally being able to do a perimeter sweep , Flops found all to be in order with the exception of the stairwell.

Flops reached that as a scarf wearing reindeer opened the door ever so slightly.

Our Bunny buddy drop kicked the reindeer backwards into the stairwell proper, allowing the door to close behind him. Immediately Flops was meant by a wave of opposition, for the reindeer had brought 5 friends with him.

Flops was pummeled until his opportunity was found, throwing a Crab stuffy down the stairs with a sickening set of wet cracks

Flops was nearly choked out and would have lost concoiuusness were it not for his gumption which allowed him the opportunity to smash a dolphin into the rail so hard its spine shattered.

Paws, hooves, hands, and wings were exchanged in a dance of pillow soft brutality.

Flops got a switchblade to the thigh

Slowing down and falling ragged against the wall, the neon light of the stairwell caught the stuffing of Flop’s thigh in a yellowish off white.

“ This would end a lot easier for you all if you simply told me what you know,” Flops grunted and gasped.

“ Oh the Boss went to some lengths to make sure we’d all be here,” The stuffed clown chuckled off-puttingly, “ and now all our families will get to spend another week here because we killed you, you appolstry patched cloth diaper. Ruggey, take him.”

A big pink monster with plastic horns stitched to him walked forward and leaned towards Flops. None of them saw what happened after the monster leaned forward until the monster reeled back without the horns. They saw Ruggey stagger back with the blade of the switchblade protruding from his mouth. Flops had in one seamless move grabbed the horns, rammed his knee up into the monsters mouth and forced the handle of the switchblade through the back of its head. Ruggey stumbled back until he fell back dead, and Flops stood with the monster’s horns in his hand.

For Flops it became a matter of strategic stabs, slowly crippling his opponents in greater and greater ways until they were all dead. The Clown was all that remained, whimpering as he attempted to remove the switchblade from Ruggey’s head.

“ I want his name,” Flops grabbed the clown by the yarn hair and held its face over the business end of the blade.

“Rennock Taranisson of Muspelheim,” The clown squeaked, “ That’s all I kn-“

Flops pushed the clown face into the blade, until it exited the back of his head.

Limping, Flops started back to the stairwell door, only to hear groaning from the reindeer who had opened the door initially.

He turned momentarily and grabbed the throat of the torn up toy. He dragged the snowflake embroidered fur across the cold steel, the reindeer trying to fight back though it came with little to no energy left.

Flops held the reindeer over the void between railing that lead 63 stories down to the ground floor.

“ Tell them,” Flops said and let the Reindeer go to plummet.

Flops didn’t monitor the richoteing descent of the reindeer down to the ground floor. If it lived, it would tell them what happened. If it died, it would send a message equally as effective. Either way, Flops was sure he would never see that reindeer again.

In the morning, many children in the hotel could not explain to their parents where their stuffs had gotten too, but they would get new ones at Drosselmeyer’s before their all expenses paid vacations came to an end….

Freddy informed her grandmother that Flops became ripped clear through the thigh overnight.

Freddy’s Grandmother already knew and would be sure to stuff and sow him as soon as she had her coffee.

Day 6 saw Grandmother telling Mother and Father that she was going to take the day quietly about the hotel, and that they should enjoy their second to last day to its fill.

And so Freddy, Mother, and Father went out into the park and saw the sights, rode the rides, and experienced the anamatronic shows and wonders of each land.

Unbeknownst to them, Several stuffs were bought that day to replace the ones Flops dispatched.

Meanwhile, Grandmother waited until the family left, drinking a hearty portion of creme de menthe in her coffee, and taking the time to repair Flops.

She then placed the little stuffie upon Freddy’s bed, and then went out onto the patio, where she sat in the glorious sunlight, listened to Edith Piaf until drifting off into the lands of slumber.

Upon arriving, she found Flops waiting in her favorite dream, the Marauder’s Bay of her childhood, where her parent’s had brought her. It was not yet the tourist town that it became, still bustling and full of color and music and life.

“ This whole trip was a set up,” Flops kept eyes on every detail of the vibrant town while Grandmother took advantage of the dream state and sauntered without a single ache

“ What do you know,” Grandmother smiled at the glorious sunshine

“ Rennock Taranisson of Muspelheim is all I have,” Flops rubbed his leg where the stab wound had been

“ I will ask about,” Grandmother gathered a shaved ice from a vendor who had it ready for her, “ until then, keep the watch.”

“ When have I not, little Rahabina,” Flops grunted a laugh

“ Always watching, my first friend,” Grandmother smiled as the ice melted cherry sweet and her memory of being given Flops by her mother played like a movie upon the clouds

When Grandmother awoke, she walked to pat Flops on the head and then went searching for her other phone to make calls to old acquaintances.

Night 6 came too quick for Flops, having chose to stay in Marauder’s Bay for the entirety of his slumber. He awoke as Freddy snuggled into him. Flops did not dare move, not that he would unless he needed to. These moments of peace were his reward. Knowing that the family could rest. In the quiet before the watch Flops could feel the love of Freddy, the Mother, and the Father. He allowed his button eyes to close but for a moment, breathed in deep, and focused. It was for these three he would unmake any who attempted to harm them.

He prepared for them to arrive. He knew that they would not try the emergency stairwell or the vents. That left the Keycard locked door, the drains which would only be accessible by serpent stuffies, and the balcony.

Flops couldn’t block all at once, but he could slow those who would make their attempt tonight.

He filled the sinks and baths with soap and water and closed their plugs.

The suite door he barred with a chair and a jumprope.

The balcony was the worst to defend but it also was the most difficult to breach.

Not a single light was allowed to stay on.

In the darkness Flops waited.

The first quiet turn of the suite doorknob happened at 10 of 4. Flops heard as the keycard reader chirped and made the unlocking sound. They had someone on the inside.

As Flops crept towards the suite door he heard a soft thump against the glass of the balcony.

Two fronts at once. Not ideal.

Flops withdrew to the kitchen and waited.

When the suite door opened far enough that the jumprope snapped taunt, Flops had enough of a window, throwing a steak knife from the range top, which stuck in some kind of stuffy that grunted and fell back.

The balcony door started to jostle, but the glass was mirrored, and would not allow the intruder to see the suite interior until the door was opened. They would have to move slowly.

Flops moved left when the steak knife he threw sailed towards his former location. The leather armchair was in the center of the living room. It was equally between the balcony door and the suite door. The next time the suite door opened, Flops threw three knifes which stuck into the moulding next to the opening. A stuffy reached in and took the blades and closed the door.

He was hoping they would be scared and sloppy.

He jumped from the leather chair and waited behind the suite door.

The jumprope was severed in the next minute or two.

A slow sawing which finally caused it to snap.

The door flung open and the stuffs saw the figure on the leather chair in the darkness.

There was no way they could tell that it was one of their dead comrades from the other night.

The knives that Flops threw were thrown at the dead stuffy on the leather chair, and were joined by an arrow that sunk firmly into the chair cushion.

Flops waited. He measured his resolve. He would wait until the very last second. Six Stuffs entered the living room of the suite

The last stuff through the door was pulled into the shadows behind the door and ceased to live.

Flops had the element of surprise and abody to use as a shield.

The situation wasn’t going to get any better, so he moved.

The first indication that something was off to the remaining stuff that had entered the suite was the sound of the door hitting one of their comrades in the hallway that lead straight to the elevator. The surprised sound that was coupled with the thud announced to Flops there were more in the hallway. The stuffs in the suite turned to see the slack shock of their dead comrades face being flung at them.

A buffalo dressed as a cowboy got his arm torn clean off and a kick to the throat.

A emu in a space suit got the buffalo’s arm shoved into his open mouth and then thrust in hard enough that he would choke to death on it.

The Walrus with the crossbow shot a bolt into Flops’ shoulder, but the sound Flops made when he jammed in into the forehead of the walrus was far louder than the sound he made when it hit him.

A T Rex charged at Flops but was tripped by a leg sweep and fell forward

Flops ignored the dinosaur for the moment, leaping to the leather chair to grab two of the knives out of the chair back, diving at the koala who got one blade straight through the chest, and then the other knife was thrown through the back of the T-rex’s head.

The suite door flung open, and Flops faced something he knew of but had never met.

There stood 4 stuffed gorillas and a Sabertooth tiger, The massive cat wore plastic armor with the crest of the Sepretorai emblazoned on it.

“Tear him apart,” The Tiger ordered, and the gorillas rushed in.

Flops threw the first knife and it was caught. Apoosable thumbs, the playing field was leveled.

Ducking the knife swung at his throat and punching the second gorilla, Flops caught a fist in the face and another to the sternum, kicking the knee of the gorilla closest so that it snapped back the wrong way.

The knife caught his shoulder, but the momentum allowed him to punch the wielder in the jaw.

These gorillas were really densely stuffed.

The gorilla on the floor nursing his broken leg grabbed for Flops, pulling a thread on his shoulder which created an aching loop behind his right shoulder.

Flops turned and kicked the gorilla in the face.

Flops turned and got caught with a drop kick which forced him to roll back and under the leather chair which he grabbed and tipped forward.

He ran to the kitchen. He needed a moment to gather himself. The first gorilla came right over the counter. Flops reached for the freezer drawer handle, and pulled hard, which caught the gorilla in the shoulder. A momentary distraction, but long enough for Flops to land a couple of hits, stunning the gorilla. The head of the first gorilla was fit into the freezer drawer as the second gorilla caught up .

Flops was tackled back into cabinetry, but his knee went into the sternum of the gorilla long enough to send him sprawling back. Flops took the opening as an opportunity to kick the freezer drawer hard enough to decapitate the first gorilla. As the headless body fell spilling fluff all over the kitchen, the third gorilla came around the corner but was stunned by his fallen companion.

On the other side of the flipped leather chair, the Sbaertooth Tiger walked slowly, stopping long enough to cradle the head of the gorilla broken leg. He smoothed the Gorillas fur as it whimpered right before calling it pathetic and tearing its head clean off.

The Sabertooth Tiger strode with the puff of authority that came with that cursed symbol on his chest. He hopped up to unlock the balcony door, and then turned to see Flops holding one of the gorillas face under water in the sink until it stopped flailing. The last of the gorillas tackled Flops after it was too late, and both the gorilla and Flops fell off of the counter.

The Sabertooth Tiger walked calmly over to the fighting Bunny and Gorilla, and waited.

Flops delivered an elbow, backpaw, kick, allowing him to get the gorilla in a headlock.

“ You can’t have Freddy and her Family,” Flops growled with the tightening of his grip

“ We aren’t here for them,” The Sabertooth Tiger sighed while three more gorillas joined him.

Flops snapped the neck of the gorilla in his grasp and ran towards the Tiger.

The move was undeniable, the blade so small Flops barely registered it. The Tiger pulled it out from behind his chest plate and swung it with surgical precision, removing Flops right button eye.

The sudden shift of perception put him off, the three gorillas who had climbed up the balcony started beating Flops mercilessly. He stopped seeing and allowed himself to perceive the thought that they were here to destroy him. That if they destroyed him, he couldn’t ensure the safety of Freddy, Her Mother, Her Grandmother, and he would have failed the one who had made him.

The spiked beats of the pouch beneath his heart patch rose in the entirety of him. He only ever acted to defend the others in his care. These beasts meant to end him. He left the anger at it and allowed it to consume him.

His remaining eye snapped back into focus, and both his paws reached out, grabbing the leg of one of the gorillas, found the seam in its fabric, and ripped it open. The gorilla cried out and fell back. The sight stunned his compatriots, allowing Flops the opening he needed, who reached up and grabbed the lower jaw of the gorilla to his right and tore that fabric clean off as well. The last gorilla saw what a fluff gushing mess the other two had been made into, and he staggered back a step. Flops leapt onto him, and began to punch him in the face until both of Flops’ paw eradicated what was once the Gorillas head. Getting up, Flops saw that the Sabertooth Tiger had walked out onto the balcony, expecting the gorillas to have finished off Flops, it gave Flops just enough time to scramble one lap around the leather chair. The Sabertooth Tiger turned to see Flops standing in the small space between sliding glass doors. He had dragged one of the knives with him. There was an exhaustion to his stance. The Sabertooth Tiger grinned at a victory that was all but inevitable.

“ It’ll be sad to finish off the great Flops E Bunny. Once I’ve killed you I shall cast your body into the Valley of Torn Pages,” The Sabertooth Tiger pulled the Scapel blade back out, “ but we can’t have you around when we conquer the Spire of Slumber.”

Flops made the sound like he spit even though nothing left his face, “ and this is where it ends.”

The two of them sized each other up for a moment, a warrior calculations running through both of their heads. The pristine look of his opponent made Flops assume, and rightly so, that he had never been in a fight.

Flops would allow the nerves to take the Tiger into an opening gambit.

It came with a chuckle.

The Sabertooth thrust the blade forward, and Flops blocked with the knife tall enough to remain standing.

Flops threw a punch that resulted in a slit on the back of the wrist an an elbow to the chin.

The Tiger was too close to effectively block while holding the human knife, so Flops let the handle go, and for a moment the Tiger focused on the movement. Flops head butted the Tiger, causing a small stream of fluff to run from each nostril. The Tiger staggered back.

Flops did not stop , but was moving too slow to keep the Sbaertooth on the ropes.

Flops kick was shin blocked, his right was forearm blocked, his left haymaker connected, but not as hard as he would have liked. The Sabertooth countered with a slash that came short of Flops’ nose, a kick to the right knee, and an elbow to the left cheek.

The sabertooth tried to hammer fist Flops, but the bunny sidestepped and whipped his ears around fast enough to disorient the massive opponent when it slapped him in the face. The tiger’s head returned to face Flops just in time to catch the fist in the face, but rose the scalpel blade once more to cut into flops’ forearm.

“Once I’ve gotten rid of you,” the tiger growled, dealing a flurry of blows that were only blocked occasionally, “perhaps I shall visit Freddy. I’m sure she could use a guardian that could guide her towards a far more virtuous life. One in which she could serve the church, one in which she could understand a girl’s place is-“

Flops Grabbed the Tigers breastplate shoulder straps, looked him in the eyes as he grimaced with fluff seeping out of the corners of his mouth, and pulled the armor down as he brought his knee up. The Tiger hit Flops’ knee so hard that his knees gave out. Flops delivered the knees twice more while growling, and only stopped because of the scalpel sinking into his stomache.

Flops stumbled back and fell , his paw finding the knife handle once more as he stumbled to regain his footing using the knife as a crutch. His other hand held his fluff in.

“ This is the way it is now. None of you can stop us. So why even bother resisting your own extinction.”

“ You are a Meany McPoopface,” Flops straightened up as he smiled, seeing the words dug into his opponent.

The Sabertooth Tiger stood ready as Flops rushed him, Flops swung the knife he held wild, which made the Tiger duck left, which made his face line up perfectly with the crossbow Flops unloosed from the thread in his right shoulder. Flops pulled the trigger without hesitation, and the Tiger tumbled backwards with a bolt through his eye and out the back of his head.

The pain shut down everything within the Tiger. He roared and swung widely. He flailed and found no target. Flops easily caught the wildly swung scalpel, knockedd it out of his hand with the empty crossbow and kicked the Cat back towards the giant whicker lounger.

The Sabertooth Cat finally fell back against the bars and caterwalled like a wounded tabby. Flops dropped the knife and the crossbow, grabbed the Sbaerttoth Tiger 3 times his size and dragged him up a chaise lounge until Flops was upon its backrest, nearly parallel with the bars of the balcony.

No words were needed, Flops simply hoisted the Tiger over his head and threw him over the railing.

It ended with a whimpering gasp and a look of disbelief as he fell into the last shadows before dawn.

That morning, checkout was 11 AM.

Freddy awoke distraught at the state of Flops, and Grandmother as always promised to repair the Bunny before bedtime.

Freddy and her parents and grandmother tumbled about the hotel room packing up, finding none of the stuffy bodies Flops took and threw down the emergency stairwell. Someday a staff member or safety inspector would find all of them and think it rather odd.

As they checked out of the hotel, the clerk at the desk was able wish them a safe trip home before returning to the short red faced man who was yelling at her.

“ MY SON AUGUSTUS CAN NOT FIND HIS SABERTOOTH TIGER AND ONE OF YOU PEOPLE MUST HAVE STOLEN IT,” the man’s bald spot was the only thing redder than his face die to the sunburn he had obtained having forgotten sunscreen

“ Sir, if you could kindly lower-” The nervous clerk fiddled to find a walkie talkie

“ I SHALL NOT QUIET DOWN, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM,” the man thundered while stomping in place

“ I found it,” A young man ran a soaking stuffed animal towards the counter, “ I found it in the pool filter.”

“ AND HOW DID IT GET THERE,” The man turned once more to the clerk after snatching the bag out of the hands of the young man and throwing at his son.

Freddy and her family had a quiet ride to the airport, an easy time to their plane, and were off without a hitch.

The red faced man and his son and wife took their limo to the airport and boarded the plane but not without three more screaming fits by the scowling man.

Freddy watched cartoons on the flight, Mother and Father talked, had a couple of drinks, and watched a movie together. Grandmother drifted to sleep

The grouchy man, his wife, and son took their seats in first class. The boy took his stuffed Sabertooth Tiger out of the plastic they had wrapped him in. It was missing an eye and tore up in some spaces, but he could make his dad buy him another. Maybe even 2 or 3.

Grandmother found herself once more waltzing through the streets of Marauder’s Bay, only to find Flops sitting on a barrel along the brick road to the crescent bay.

“ So you seem to have quite the night,” Grandmother crouched painlessly to care for her friend

“ I will be fine, I have the best of Doctors, “ Flops grunted, “ what did you find out.”

“ Once we have you patched up,’ Grandmother stood looking concerned

“ Nothing to be done in the lands of Slumber for me,” Flops simply sat there, “ So you may as well bring me up to speed. The Tiger I fought last night wore a crest A shadowy man with upside-down wings and a sword on his chest.”

“ The Sepretorai,” Grandmother nodded and huffed, “ They are more than the faith they proclaim to be.”

“ And he mentioned the Spire of Slumber,” Flops grunted as he shifted.

“ And there was the piece we were missing,” Grandmother nodded and sighed, “ They must have given Rennock the power he needed, and in exchange he would help them capture the Spire.”

“ Why would they need him to conquer the Spire,” Flops would inquire about the nature of the spire when he had more time than a simple 3 hour in flight nap.

“ Rennock’s family is old fire giant,” Grandmother looked towards the bay, “ he was seeking revenge in our world for the death of his son, but they can’t merely enter without upsetting the balance noticeably.”

“So what do we do now,” Flops leaned back and closed his eye

“ You rest until I can repair you and perhaps make some improvements,” Grandmother leaned down and kissed the Bunny’s soft patchwork head, “ and then you reach out to one of my relatives and her husband. They are the ones who killed Rennock’s son.”

Grandmother turned to continue on knowing her first friend needed the rest. Three steps down the road and after being handed a pineapple shaved ice she heard Flops pose a question.

“ How did the son of a fire giant end up in the World and get killed without upsetting the balance?”

“ The kid was a weird one. Part frost giant, part fire giant. Used to horde wealth by scaring kids at bedtime. His name was Russellenoch Rennockson.”

They both found peace then. And when they got home, and after unpacking, Grandmother repaired Flops and returned him to Freddy, after which grandmother got on the internet to research new fabric technologies.