Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don't (Chapter 8) (Patreon)

‘Erik has been chosen by the light.’

The words rung in my head like a struck gong, my mind automatically assembling the puzzle-pieces. The searing light from my dream and my inexplicable revival—it all suddenly made sense.

My emotions were thrown into chaos. Happiness, worry, envy—at that moment, I understood Lily’s feelings.

On one hand, I was glad for my brother—he’d certainly be moving up in the world, starting now. On the other, he was a fourteen-year-old kid with the mental maturity of one, unlike myself.

Given his ‘anointing’, he’d certainly be sent away to a monestary. Would he be able to cope without his parents, his girlfriend and… his little brother?

I thought of my past life, when I’d been sent away from my family. At that time, I was older than Erik, yet it didn’t work out well for me.

I’m getting ahead of myself. Since the situation might seem confusing to a third-person, I’ll try to explain.

Light-worship was extremely common in the Human-Kingdoms, but not all worshippers attracted the Light’s attention. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if ninety-nine-percent didn’t develop any special abilities at all—even that was probably an over-estimation.

To become a cleric, one needed to be ‘chosen’, but it wasn’t always clear why somebody was chosen. I mean, common sense dictated that the most faithful would receive the Light’s blessings, but that wasn’t always the case.

Plenty of saints had checkered backgrounds, at least if the stories were to be believed. The church didn’t hide it either, using this fact to preach ‘anyone can be redeemed’ or something like that.

Because of my inherently suspicious nature, I couldn’t help feeling that faith really had little to do with it. Most likely, the Light was just choosing the most useful pawns. And, well… if someone with questionable morality suddenly received a power-up, they’d be on their best behavior from fear of losing it.

Regardless, what I’m trying to say is that ‘chosen’ are rare and sought after. Similar to how the Kirin-Tor are always on the lookout for those with magical talent, the Church of the Holy Light were always looking for chosen.

At the very least, Erik would be sent to Northshire to receive clerical training. If he showed any martial talent, he might even be able to join the Knights of the Silver Hand.

He was destined to rise above the circumstances of his birth, becoming someone a talentless shmuck like me could only look up to.

Breathing out slowly, I looked at Lily, standing in front of me with folded hands.

“What happened to the trolls? Where’s dad and Erik now?”

I tried my best to shove any unnecessary thoughts to the back of my mind. Right now, I had bigger fish to fry.

Lily’s eyes, locked with mine, were filled with concern.

“They’re at the mayor’s house. Two of the… monsters were killed, but Thors – he’s Holly’s oldest son – was shot through the neck and died. Right now, they’re deciding what to do.”

Her face turning a little white, she brought her hand to her mouth like someone about to bite their nails, but then sighed and shoved them behind her back.

“You were hurt badly, Arne. We all thought you were going to die, but… a miracle happened.”

Her lips curling into a weak smile, she suddenly leaned forward and kissed the top of my head.

Needless to say, I was completely stunned. For a moment, I even felt that if I could receive such treatment from my stepmother, I might try dying more often.

Rubbing the spot awkwardly, I briefly met Lily’s blue eyes.

“Thank you… for looking after me.”

There was a period of ambiguous silence before my stepmother laughed, putting her hand on my shoulder.

“You must be hungry. Let’s go eat something while we wait for the men to come back. It’s already been a few hours—they should be here soon.”

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The meal was a simple one, consisting of potatoes, onions and herbs, boiled in milk. Honestly, my mind didn’t register the flavor—I was too busy worrying about the future.

From what little information the townspeople had gathered, the trolls didn’t seem to be part of an army. In fact, there didn’t seem to be very many of them at all.

However, there was still the matter of smoke on the wind. Of course, it was hardly something that could be ignored, so the village council must certainly be discussing it.

Sighing, I pushed my bowl forward, having finished eating. One thought kept circulating in my mind—if a massive greenskin army tried to invade, the allied kingdoms would certainly notice. There was nothing sneaky about massive, hulking green monsters—certainly not when they numbered in the hundreds-of-thousands.

“Done eating, Arne? If you’re feeling up to it, come help me wash. Father John has been kind enough to offer us a place to stay—the least we could do is not turn it into a pigsty.”

Showing a more in-character appearance, Lily collected my bowl and spoon with rolled-up sleeves.

‘That fatty wouldn’t have been so generous if it wasn’t for Erik.’

Though I thought such things, I got up obediently. My enmity with father John stretched years into the past, even from before his refusal to teach me my letters.

The old coot was a sanctimonious prick down to his very bones, looking down on me because of my parentage. Though, his dislike wasn’t limited to me, but extended to my late mother as well, refusing to even show me where her grave was located.

I won’t bore you with the whole story, but it’s apparently related to me ‘being born into sin’. According to him, I had to work extra hard to sanctify myself if I wanted the Light to welcome me in to heaven.

Naturally, I didn’t take this very well, though I’d never have become a true worshipper even if he hadn’t said something like that. From that first disagreement, our relationship worsened. He even started refusing to teach me scripture, insisting that I’d already ‘hardened’ my heart.

I never had much interest anyway, but sans other reading opportunities, I thought I’d take my chance.

While I pondered my and the priest’s ruined relationship, I helped Lily in the kitchen. After checking my wound, she decided I was fit for duty, something I didn’t mind. With nothing else to do, moving my hands at least helped keep the panic at bay.

“Actually, Arne…”

When our chores were winding to an end, Lily glanced in my direction, adjusting my bangs with her still-wet fingers.

I met her gaze embarrassedly, waiting for her to continue.

After a moment’s hesitation, she shook her head.

“…never mind. It’s better to wait until your brother and father come back.”

After we’d dried and put away the pots and dishes, she put her hand on my shoulder.

“Come sit with me while I pray.”

Unable to refuse, I could only let her lead me to the center of the church where father John, along with a few dozen panicked residents, were engaged in prayer

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Some time later, after a needlessly long and uncomfortable sermon, the men finally returned. As was the custom in times of danger, whether it be from bandits, beasts or monsters, women and children would be sent to shelter in public spaces.

Heavy footsteps, as well as the sound of rough voices, sounded from outside. A series of strong knocks thumped against the wooden double-doors, followed by a gruff voice.

“It’s Thompson. May I enter?”

Hearing the question, father John raised his head where he stood at the pulpit, speaking to the young blonde at his side.

“Grace, open the door.”

I could barely hear him from where Lily and I sat, near the front. As my stepmother remarked yesterday, Grace had been, well… not exactly apprenticed, given she was a girl, but taken under the priest’s wing.

Knowing his character, I wasn’t the least bit pleased about this. However, the common people were incredibly respectful toward authority figures, especially those from the church. They would never suspect any wrongdoing.

Yet, looking at how close the fat bastard’s fish-lips were to my sister-in-law’s ear, I couldn’t help getting all sorts of bad ideas. Erik would really have to watch out if he didn’t want to be NTRed while he was away.

Under the gazes of many women and children, the freckled blonde walked down the isle between the pews before opening the large, double wooden doors. Dim, grey light washed over the church’s interior, making everything look colorless. The smell of smoke intensified, reaching me where Lily and I sat near the front, and I could see tiny particulates dancing in the air.

Outside, a dense group of men milled about, wearing similar expressions—their faces creased and brows drawn. However, only a single person entered; mayor Thompson, who’s short, stocky appearance I’d long grown used to. Though better dressed than those behind him, he was still rough, his head, face and arms covered in coarse, black hairs.

Despite being a farmer, he was one of the few lettered men in town and our de-facto leader, sans the priest. The only reason the latter didn’t take charge was because he was too busy with the Light’s matters. Though, I doubted that—most likely, father John was simply content with enjoying the fruits of his position without wanting to care about the responsibilities.

Mayor Thompson walked up to the priest before opening his mouth, ready to speak. However, before he could start, father John interrupted him. “You must be tired. Come, a room has been prepared with something to eat and drink. We’ll speak there.” Then, he put his hand on the farmer’s shoulder, taking him through a door behind the pulpit.

Seeing this, I quickly guessed the reason—if there was bad news, it would be better to keep it private lest panic spread among the villagers.

Lily looked at me, smiling to hide her worry. “…your father and brother should be back. Let’s talk to them outside.” After speaking, she and I, along with the other women and children, slowly shuffled out the door. Though the church could accommodate a few hundred more, easily being the grandest building in town, the villagers’ reverence discouraged them from disrupting its calm order.

When we were outside, Lily searched the crowd carefully. There were a lot of people, so it took a minute or two. Short as I was, I could only be dragged around by her until we reunited with the other two members of our family.

“Jed, Erik…!” Her grip on my hand tightening, she pulled me towards the edge were the crowd thinned. Soon, I saw a familiar tall, muscled figure accompanied by a shorter, thinner one.

My father and brother looked in our direction, their gazes flicking between my stepmother and I. Erik’s expression changed immediately, his face paling while pursing his lips together. “Mom, Arne shouldn’t be out of bed. He was almost-…” He didn’t finish his sentence, clenching his jaw tightly before hurrying over.

Shaking my head, I smiled at him. “Thanks to you, I’m fine. My back isn’t even that sore, haha.” I tried for a chipper tone, but the words were more of a whisper. Seeing the concern in my brother’s blue eyes, a deep sense of gratitude and affection rose in my chest.

Standing in front of me, Erik carefully extended a hand, touching my arm. It almost seemed like he was afraid of hurting me. “How do you-…?” He started speaking, but I didn’t let him finish, throwing my arms around his back before pulling him into a full-bodied hug.

He jolted slightly, but then brought his arm to my shoulders, patting me awkwardly. “Well… as long as you’re okay.”

After a dozen-or-so seconds, I separated from him, meeting his eyes. He was clearly embarrassed, but happy.

“Let’s talk inside.”

Suddenly, Jed’s low voice sounded from behind Erik, his face serious. He met my, Erik and Lily’s eyes in turn. Then, seeing he had our attention, he turned and walked to the cabin where I assumed we’d be staying.

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