"Get up," (Patreon)

I said warily.  "And stop doing ... whatever this is."

"Of course, Your Highness," Lana gushed as she got back to her feet.  "Naturally you'll want to keep up appearances and continue pretending you're a moronic simpleton, but don't worry.  I shan't tell a soul about your brilliant ruse."

"Are you really being seri-" I started to ask.

"Of course you must have anticipated that I would eventually piece things together.  OH!" Lana clenched her hooves and grinned excitedly, which was even more horrifying than her usual irritable glower.  "I passed your test!  I'm ... I'm a part of history now!  This is such an honor!"

"You're handling this a lot ... differently than I expected," I hazarded.

"Oh thank you, my liege!" she giggled.  "I'm just thrilled to be part of it at last!  Now that I finally know what's going on, I'm your inside ewe!  Action!  Suspense!  Intrigue!  Oh it will be magnificent!  You must have a brilliant plan on what to do next.  So tell me, what's the mission?"

"You're a clever sheep," I muttered.  "You figure it out."

"Ooh, another test," she breathed.  "I shall try.  Let's see ... my first impulse is to avoid the obvious, but then again if you want to lull everyone into believing you are an utter dolt, then obvious would absolutely be the way to go.  No, there's always an element of the unexpected in your plans ... hmm ... something no sane person would ever think of doing ... this is difficult."

"It's not that hard," I chided her.  "Just think about what I need, and my objective becomes clear."

"What you need is for Zandar to crown you so you can lift the queen's geas and leave this circle," Lana summarized.

"And how do I accomplish that?"

"You'd send - oh, no, wait, you wouldn't because you don't want to be beholden to The Sisterhood."

"That's right," I nodded.  "It has to be done without their help so it's MY victory, not theirs."

"Amazing," Lana sighed ecstatically.  "You MUST be the Niknak Padiwak.  But wait ... without Sisterhood help, you will have to rely on lowfolk, because - as you well know - nobody else can get past the Bunkirk rabbits."

I didn't know that, but I was not about to disabuse Lana of her mistaken assessment of me.  If she wanted to believe I was some sort of diabolical arch-schemer, I'd be every bit the fool she previously thought I was if I didn't use that to my advantage.

"Relying on lowfolk help means waiting for them to show up," she pointed out hesitantly.  "It could take a long time."

"Elves have plenty of time," I pointed out.  "And I'm very patient.  I'll still be playing out my gambit long after everyone else has forgotten there was even a game on."

"That is brilliant," Lana simpered.  "What do you need me to do?"

"Spread the legend of the White Elf," I replied.  "I also need to find out for sure if Zandar is in that house, and if so, how she has survived.  However, you are still a Sisterhood Floozy and I can't have any Sisterhood operatives involved.  They already know you're working for me under our previous agreement, so how about I send you to track down Zandar's back trail.  I believe she came from Sceorle Tor, so that would be the place to start."

"That's a long way away," Lana observed.

"Yes," I confirmed, trying not to chuckle.  My ancestor Roland the Dutiful had sent the Skönks to that Fuma-forsaken place to get them out of the way, and his strategy could work for me as well.

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