"Oh that's just splendid," (Patreon)

Lana bleated angrily.  "I've been out there working my hooves off, and when I get back, what do I see?  My so-called liege lord playing with dandelions!  Have you even tried to get anything done?"

"Of course," I retorted.  "I haven't been sitting idle."

"Let me guess," Lana scoffed.  "You did something stupid and everything fell apart and you've subsequently spent a huge amount of time wallowing in self pity."

"Not a HUGE amount of time," I corrected her.  "And I had a very good reason to hide out for a while.  When I tried to explore Albric Tor, I was attacked by a ghost!  I barely escaped with my life!  I had to hide so it wouldn't find me."

"Indeed," Lana remarked, with a lift of her eyebrow.  "I noticed construction of a new courthouse, along with widespread repairs in Percysthorpe, and the rabbits of Bunkirk have put up a pretty tight cordon around these woods.  Might any of this be related to your activities?"

"Well, there was an angry mob and a witch trial, and things got out of hand.."

"HUMPH," Lana scoffed.  "You were starting a coven of witches in an isolated rural community full of superstitious people.  Did you even try to conceal it?"

"It wasn't my fault!" I protested.  "I transformed the old crone into a child and had her adopted by her sworn enemy as punishment for sassing me, and then COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE she went and accused the coven and her new guardian of witchcraft!"

Lana groaned and smacked her forehead with her hoof.

"How on earth did you think ANY part of that was a good idea??" she exclaimed.  "Oh how I wish you had let the Sisterhood take charge when you had the chance!  This is exactly what I was talking about the last time we spoke.  You are just a - how should I phrase this - an incompetent DOOFUS and all of your plans are doomed to fail because of it."

"Now hold on!  My schemes aren't that bad!  There was plenty of possibility of success, but it was ruined by extenuating circumstances."

"What you call extenuating circumstances, anyone else would simply call REALITY," Lana scolded.  "Let's look back at how your plans turn out:  The extermination of an entire elvish city (which would be impressive if you had MEANT to do it) and you trapped in a forest, all alone, begging lowfolk for favors.  Lowfolk who aren't showing up, by the way, since you angered a religious cult that has the means and the motive to keep everyone out.  Looks like the opposite of success to me."

"All right!  Fine!" I yelled.  "I admit it!  My last few plans ended badly.  If you're such a strategic genius, let's hear what you think I should do!"

"Oh, so you're ready to accept The Sisterhood's help now, are you?" Lana smirked.

PREV http://www.patreon.com/posts/89641296

NEXT http://www.patreon.com/posts/90425273