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"We have two days!" (Patreon)

Published:
2023-07-13 00:42:51
Imported:
2023-10

Content

I declared.  "Time to get ready!"

With a few slight modifications, Burnside's assassin cloak could be made to look like Didelphis's cronely vestments.  The forest donated a shillelagh and Burnside began working on her Didelphis imitation, with coaching from Rebecca and Chloe.

"Dagnab that durn Oonagh," Burnside wheezed.  "Why in tarnation her pies gotta be so dang tasty?  Tain't fair!"

"You've got her gestures down pat!" Rebecca squealed gleefully.

"She wouldn't say 'dagnab' though," Chloe interjected.  "Nor 'tarnation' nor any of those other swamp expressions."

"DogGONE," Burnside protested.  "This is gonna be harder'n I thought."

"It doesn't have to be perfect," I pointed out.  "You just have to get close, and the glamer will take care of the rest.  Speaking of which, Rebecca, you need to change to a townsfemme disguise."

"But," she protested.

"No buts!  A glamer can cover a lot of things, but you can't waltz into town dressed like a sexy witch and not expect to draw attention!"

"You think I'm sexy?" she asked coyly.

"Don't change the subject!" I barked.  "Time to get into costume!"

With helpful suggestions from Gretchen and Petunia, I magicked up some new clothes for Rebecca.

"Uuuuughhh," she groaned.  "This is so dull, so drab, so ... BLAH!  I'm dressed like my mom!  I feel so frumpy!"

"Good," I declared.  "That's exactly what we want.  You must blend in with the crowd so you can discreetly use Elfmind to send Burnside answers if she gets quizzed about things Didelphis should know."

I paused for a moment and pondered:  Was this a good plan?  Did it make sense?  Did it have any glaringly obvious flaws that would bring everything crashing down around me?

Again??

"I feel confident in this plan," Rebecca reassured me.  "This is the  best way to achieve the best possible outcome from the current situation."

"Were you spying on my thoughts just now?" I asked her.

"You wanted me to practice my Elfmind," she grinned.

"Very impressive," I nodded approvingly, though I was a little disturbed by how easily she had done it, without showing any visible signs of concentration.

"Hey Adl - uh, Yer Lordship," Burnside called as she approached me.  "Hey ... I can tell that you don't care for Ash one lil bit.  If you want, I can bring his sneaky an' sly lil head back on a silversteel platter."

"Do you seriously think you could take him?" I blurted.

"He ain't all that," Burnside scoffed.

"I want to make something very clear," I explained.  "This is NOT to be a violent mission.  It is your chance to prove that you are more than a mere weapon of mass destruction.  You may only resort to violence in the worst case scenario, but you must do everything in your power to make sure it doesn't come to that.  You are to impersonate Didelphis with the intention of making sure everyone gets out of this alive, and in Oonagh's case, with her reputation intact."

Burnside looked at me for a long moment, then said, "I promise to make sure this here mission turns out just the way you want it."

"Good," I nodded.  "One last thing:  If Ash tries to betray me again, like he did when he warded the forest and blinded me to the world, then you will have my permission to kill him.  But not until Rebecca, Oonagh, and Didelphis are safe."

"Gotcha," she nodded, then hobbled back over to work on her act in front of the coven members.

I ordered some Ixies to go to Didelphis's hut and extract anything that could be used as evidence against the narrative we were attempting to construct.

And with that, everything was ready.

At this point in the story, I need to pause and have a drink.  Next, would you like for me to narrate what happened at the trial, or just skip straight to the aftermath?

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Comments

Anonymous

I agree with St_Veronica. I’d also like to know about the trial - but prioritize story pacing.

Anonymous

>Adler get's back with his drink. Some fru-fru mixed drink he got from the mini bar. Hmmm. It sounds like the audience wants to know what happened at the trial, but at a quickened pace. Alright, you'll push through this quickly instead of covering it scene-by-scene. That will be easy since you weren't physically present. >Adler: You all practice and prepare until the ixie tailing Ash comes back with the announcement that the trial will take place at 1 pm right after lunch. She also tells you that Ash will set up his Comm-Cup, that's what Ash calls it since he invented it before you, in a hidden place with a set-up to keep the string taught so you can hear the trial as it happens. When the time comes Burnside and Rebecca head out in disguise and fully glamoured to enact your, hopefully, ingenious plan. The rest of the coven stays behind with you out of fear. When the time of the trial arrives, you hold the Mumble-Mug(tm) to your ear. It doesn't matter that Ash invented it first, it only matters who gets to the elvish patent office first. You hear the typical stuff at the start of the trial. Naming the defendant, list of charges, etc. Then something unexpected happens. You hear shouting, no, chanting outside the courthouse. "Hey-Hey! Ho-Ho! This trial's a sham let Oonagh go!" What's going on? Burnside hasn't even done her dramatic reveal yet! Then you hear more shouting. Then everyone is shouting. Then you hear doors slam open and loud splatting noises. You hear the mug get hit with a splat then the line goes quiet. The rest of the coven is alarmed wen you say something has happened. In a panic, they declare their guilty feelings over not going to help Rebecca and run off before you can stop them. You tell your ixies to bring them back and they fly off in pursuit. You are left alone in the circle for hours fretting the whole time. Well, this is it. Your plans have blown up in your face again. This time before you could even put them into action. This must be a new record for your failures. "Adler the Failure", that's what they'll call you. The Emperor who failed at absolutely everything. Right when you are about to give into despair you hear voices approaching the circle. You recognize most of them, and they sound positively merry. You see Rebecca, Burnside, child Didelphis, the rest of the coven, and a middle-aged woman you've never seen before enter the circle. They all appear to be in high spirits. And they're all covered in pie filling. The ixies fly in shortly after them. >Rebecca: You excitedly rush forward to tell Adler about the unbelievably amazing events that had transpired. You and Burnside had arrived just when the chanting started. The townspeople were tired of getting pushed around by the rabbits and them victimizing Oonagh, who is a well-loved pillar of the community, was the final straw. They baked an entire grand-feast's worth of pies to show their support for Oonagh and brought them to the courthouse to protest the trial. Seeing Burnside glamoured to look like Didelphis was all they needed to cement in their minds that the entire trial was a sham. They rushed into the building to protest. The rabbits tried to shout the townsfolk down and that's when the pies started flying. Ash tried to restore order, then he was hit in the face with a pie. Burnside was rushed to the front of the mob, but before she could speak O'Hoppity jumped up and began shouting. He seemed deranged. He went on that he didn't care if Oonagh was a witch or not. He set this whole thing in motion not to get more power, but to get revenge on Oonagh! The parson loved pies, it was his favorite food (a detail that was masterfully foreshadowed earlier in the story) and Oonagh made the best pies in all of Eire! He had been harassing Oonagh for years to relocate her bakery into Bunkirk, but she had refused every time, so if he couldn't have her pies then no one can! This revelation provoked outrage from both the townspeople and the rabbits. The pies started flying again. The entire town became one giant pie fight! It was complete pie-fueled bedlam. O'Hoppity ran up to Oonagh and declared that if he couldn't ruin her life, her reputation, or her bakery he could still take away the one thing she really cared about. He grabbed child Didelphis and ran up the stairs to the roof of the courthouse. Burnside tried to go after them, but got nailed in the face by a lemon meringue pie, and as you all know citrus in the eyes stings like hell. O'Hoppity was going to throw child Didelphis off the roof! In a single heroic act, Oonagh lunged out the front door of the courthouse and caught child Didelphis before she hit the ground. Seeing their community leader try to murder a child took the fight out of the rabbits and they calmed down. Once the pie-fight ended, Ash dismissed the case against Oonagh in light of new evidence and O'Hoppity's own confession. O'Hoppity was arrested for attempted murder. You were worried that Ash would be angry at potentially losing O'Hoppity as a pawn, but he seemed too bewildered to be upset. He stated he was going to the pub to drink until he forgot any of this ever happened. To celebrate, everyone in town, including the rabbits that hadn't left, had a feast eating the remaining pies that hadn't been thrown. On the trip back, Oonagh had a long talk with Didelphis about how she never meant to ruin her life and it was Didelphis that inspired her to become a baker. The entire day was the single most amazing thing you've ever seen in your entire life! A truly once in a lifetime event that will never happen again! Oh how you wish Adler could have been there to see it! >Adler: . . . Fuma damn it. You need to break this stupid geas. >Oonagh: (Oonagh is a Gaelic name meaning "lamb", so naturally you are a wolf.)