"Here you go," (Patreon)
Content
you say, as you hand the Guest Narrator a reheated mug of seasonal beverage. "One warm and most definitely vegan drink."
"Please, drink deeply. It was made with you in mind. You deserve something special."
"You're doing such a good job."
Thanks, man. Mmmm, this is like totes delish. Do I detect a note of nutmeg? Clove? Bitter almond? Why are you all staring at me like that? If you're thirsty, I'll wait while you get a drink too. No? Okay, then. Now that I'm mondo refreshed, like fo' shizzle and whatnot, let's continue with the story.
Next, Adler says:
. . .
"Since Rebecca has already told you every conceivable thing about me," I grumbled, "you probably know that I'm trying to start a loose organization of followers. You can think of it as a cult, but let me make it clear that you should worship Fuma, not me."
"My Lord," Rebecca asked meekly. "Did I do something wrong?"
I let out a weary sigh. Seeing the crestfallen expression on the rabbit femme's face troubled me more than it should. I suddenly realized that after spending so much time time convincing Rebecca of the virtues of seelieness, I couldn't be seen chiding my first official follower in front of her friends for being too honest. I needed to try a different approach.
"Technically no, you did nothing wrong," I admitted. "But technical and elfly are rarely ever the same! Subtlety and intuition are important! However, there's no way you could have known that. Let's just call this a learning experience and add it to the next lesson. I need to remember that not everyone is a mind-reader."
"Ooooh!" the vixen squealed. "Are we really going to learn how to read minds?"
I gritted my teeth and tried to remain calm. Rebecca told all of these lowfolk that I was a benevolent and infinitely patient entity. Now I was obligated to play the part, and that meant not getting so easily frustrated. I would have to exude confidence and control while maintaining an even-tempered composure. I tried to imagine how I would conduct this meeting if Vernier was one of the witches.
"Save your questions til the end," I said, calmly raising my finger for emphasis. "Now then, to continue: This so-called 'cult' is in its beginning stages, and that presents all of you with a unique opportunity. You could earn the prestige of becoming my first, original group of apostles, going out into the world and spreading tales of my deeds and doing good works in my name."
"Like the Blessed Baby Bunny?" Mother Didelphis coughed. "We came here to get away from that, dearie."
"I give out better prizes," I bluffed, based on the little that Rebecca had told me of their absurd lowfolk religion. "My most dedicated followers can earn fabulous rewards, and you don't have to wait til the afterlife to get them. I am offering wealth, beauty, long life, ancient knowledge, wish fulfillment (within reason), and magick, (REAL magick!) as well as a greater purpose in life. I don't yet know any of you as well as I know Rebecca, but I can see that like her, you are all outcasts and outsiders in society. You wanted to pursue witchcraft as a means of getting revenge against that society for one reason or another. But think about all the stories of wicked witches; how do they usually end? It never goes well for the witch. That's the consequence of being Unseelie, or as you call it, evil. In my service, you will have the opportunity to take all that negative energy and turn it into something positive. Instead of being hated for your differences, you will be celebrated, perhaps even loved for them! Doesn't that sound grand?"
. . .
Man, it must be a lot later than I thought. Despite the thrilling action of the story, I'm getting so drowsy I can hardly keep my eyes open. I think I -
The guest narrator suddenly slumps unconscious in his chair.
"Quickly!" you exclaim. "Get him into the pook-proof sack!"
"Are we sure this is Adler?" another of your shameless conspirators asks. "He passed out awfully fast. Maybe just check under his hood to be sure."
"No time. It has to be Adler. Who else could it be? Let's get him to the meeting place. If we hurry we can just make the deadline."
And so the craven, ungrateful, backstabbing listeners carry their load out into the night.