Right, (Patreon)

so I'm here to read these notes about the dumb adventures of a lazy slacker elf who owes the Kringle a couple weeks' work.  Why do they have to run away like this?  It's no big deal.  Okay, so they gotta wear a stupid costume, but you've seen what this guy wears normally, right?  He's certainly got no reason to complain.  Anyway, the Agent that the slacker elf left to do this is a little busy right now, so I came to help, out of the pure kindness of my rind.  Plus there might be some clues in here as to where the chump is hiding.

Help! They locked me in a chest and won't let me out until I tell them His Majesty's location!

Don't listen to that nutty dame, she's hysterical.  A helpful audience member is helping her calm down by gently interrogating her.  Now then, to keep the rest of these lunk-heads distracted, er, I mean entertained by reading some of this terrible ballad for people with bad taste ...

Let's see ...

I guess this bookmark is where you left off.

First this Ash guy says something about negating the chances of betrayal.  What's that supposed to mean?  Lessee ... He suggests that Adler begin by being more specific on what you are and aren't permitted to do while in his service.

Adler tells him not working with his enemies and stabbing him in the back would be nice.

But then Ash is like:  How are you gonna make sure I do that?

Adler spews some malarkey about an elf's word is his bond.  Ash only needs to verbally agree and that should be  that.

Then Ash goes:  Be a little more forceful in how you say it because I am a slippery devil, like all elves.  Ain't that the truth!  You gotta cover every possible loophole and then make the elf pinky-swear and cross his heart.

Adler then stops and does some whiny internal monologue about not wanting to deal with un-elfy acts like oaths and contracts.  He made some guy named Estvan swear an oath earlier, but that was just a one-time thing.  He was overcome with emotion at the time.  I'm just reading what it says here.  What a big baby.  Still, it did get Estvan to comply a lot easier.  Oh woe, oh agony, oh what should a stinky elf do?

You gotta be kidding me.  This is the big adventure ballad?  It's just some guy talking on the phone and having moral dilemmas over NOTHING!  They told me there was action!  They told me there was comedy!  They told me there was hot babes!  When does that stuff happen?

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