While Ash ranted, I pondered. (Patreon)

He did have somewhat of a point.  Lowfolk had always been dangerous to elves, even as far back as the Long Ago ... but only if you dealt with them directly.  As long as lowfolk couldn't get into Faerie, no elf needed to concern himself with their activities.

But the Duchess...

The Duchess of Daisies running around loose in the lowfolk world was something to worry about.  Certainly she had designs on the Imperial throne, and her munitions business was undoubtedly some very devious means to an Unseelie end.

"What's he saying?" Vernier asked as my silence drew on.

"Nothing," I stated, snapping out of my reverie.  It was true.  Ash had stopped talking.  "Are you still there?" I asked into the mug.

"Yes," he replied.  "I assumed you were digesting all that I just said."

"CONSARN IT!!" Burnside suddenly yelled.  "I can't untie these dadgum laces with these dadgum gloves on!  Why don't some o' yall bug things quit buzzin' around an help me?"

"Six to one she teareth that dress off in five minutes," one of the Ixies declared.

"Thou'rt on," another responded.

"Start the clock!" a third Ixie shouted.

"What's going on over there?" Ash asked.  "I can hear a lot of yelling and what sounds like bets being placed.  Are you running a casino in the middle of the woods?"

"I am not," I replied.  "It's nothing important, just a minor fashion disaster."

It occurred to me that if Ash did not know what was happening here, then his surveillance could not be as good as he had implied.  In fact ... hadn't he let it slip a few minutes ago that I had stolen his scry orbs?  Was that where those orbs had come from?  How had I done it?  If I could recreate such a feat, it would be possible for me to seriously inconvenience Ash - maybe even stop him altogether!

"All right then," I continued, stalling and trying not to let on what I was thinking.  "If it's so important to you that I should be a good emperor, why are you trying so hard to convince me to become Unseelie?  A Good Unseelie elf is an oxymoron."

"I meant good as in effective," Ash explained, sounding slightly bored.  "Not good morally.  To be an effective leader, one must be Unseelie.  Politics and leadership are filled with skulduggery, under the table dealings, wars, and assassinations.  The only emperors that lasted long enough to amount to anything were the ones who embraced the dirty side of the job.  Truly great emperors were the ones who mastered it.  An emperor must forget petty things like morality and Seeliness and focus only on what's good for the empire.  Look at Irenaeus; he massacred his enemies by the score, and his friends by the dozen.  He built the Mephitist Empire up from nothing.  To give another example:  One of the only lowfolk kings I've heard about whom I could halfway respect, his name was Vlad Tepid or something like that, which is ironic, because this fellow wasn't tepid at all.  His small kingdom in the mountains was at war with a much larger empire that - hold on."

"What's the matter?" I asked, after hearing a bunch of rustling from the can, followed by a moment of silence.

"Patrol of rabbits coming," Ash muttered.  "Blasted things.  I've got to move.  I'll have the trees notify you when I'm ready to resume our conversation."

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