"Oh sure," (Patreon)

Lysander answered breezily.  "Skeorlesburg is away East, back in the Old Country.  I used to have relatives there, when it used to be called Chimpenvania, but the bushy-tails chased us all out and took over.  Since then, I don't know much about it, but Ash sometimes used to mutter about Skeorle Tor when he was in his cups."

"What did he say?" I asked excitedly.  "Did he ever mention the name Skönk?"

"He might have," the monkey shrugged.  "It isn't wise to crowd him when he's in one of these moods, so I never listened too closely."

"Tell me about Ash Marten," I insisted.  "What's he like?"

"OY!" Lysander yelled, suddenly doubling over and clutching his belly.  "My ulcer is acting up!  I need some banana latkes to calm it down."

"I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to eat food when you have an ulcer," I remarked.

"With monkeys, it's different," Lysander groaned.  "I gotta get back to town soon.  Oh, the pain!"

"Monkeys aren't that different," Vernier stated.  "And there's nowhere in Tulgeyside to get banana latkes."

"So I'll suffer til I get to Percysthorpe," Lysander shrugged.  "Anyway I really should get started processing your order.  You wanted five Blunderettes and some information about the O'Daisies factory, yes?  The guns are two gold apiece, plus you'll want some shot and some powder, let's call it fifteen gold for the lot.  As for the information, I'll need to grease some palms.  Ten gold might be enough to get the ball rolling but I'm sure my informants will want more before it's all said and done.  So, twenty-five gold to start with."

"I'll give you fifteen," I stated.  "The rest we can negotiate upon delivery, and I'll want a receipt for everything.  Also I think shot and powder can be acquired locally, correct?"

"That's right, sir," Vernier affirmed.  "Which reminds me ... what did you mean when you mentioned steamed gunpowder a few minutes ago?"

"If you must know," I explained, "it's an alchemical experiment I've been working on."

"Oh come on!" I exclaimed as Lysander and Vernier both stared at me.  "It's not that crazy of an idea!  It'll work someday, you'll see!"

"Look, two gold is a rock-bottom price for a Blunderette," Lysander murmured after an awkward pause.  "I can get five of them here for ten gold but I'm not making any money on that deal.  My ulcer and I will have to live on gruel in the meantime.  And five gold isn't going to get you much more than the common rumors around Vul - I mean, wherever the O'Daisies have set up their new operation."

PREV http://www.patreon.com/posts/43553455

NEXT http://www.patreon.com/posts/44063356