"Although he put on a jovial face in public," (Patreon)
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Oak continued, describing her mysterious Uncle Ash, "in private unguarded moments he often seemed haunted by a dark despair. When Ash was in his cups he would sometimes mutter things about showing them all, getting back what was his, and making them all see .. but many of the tavern patrons talked the same way after a few pints, so we never attached any great importance to it. He was quite an outdoorsman. As you know, he helped our father become successful in the lumber business. Often he would go on vacation from running the tavern and come back with sacks loaded with fish and game. He said he knew the best spots, and had a store of nature lore that nobody else knew about. After the tavern burned down he has been away most of the time, but he still shows up every once in a while. We never know when he's coming or how long he will stay. He usually vanishes as unexpectedly as he arrives. Last time I saw him, he was involved in deep conversation with Pontius Lysander .. now there's an interesting character .. Pontius was an intermediary in the weapons trade, selling O'Daisies wares up and down the valley, but then he got into some sort of trouble with the Duchess and had to hide for a while. But what was I saying? Oh yes, Uncle Ash was the only one in the family who didn't seem shocked by my transformation. In fact, I think that's around the time he first started asking about you."
"Hmm," I mused, taking it all in. "You call him Uncle, but to which of your parents is he a sibling?"
Before Oak could respond, Vernier suddenly sprung to her feet.
"A very pretty trick, Your Lordship," she sneered. "Though I wouldn't mind at all if you did it again, I feel I must point out that it proves nothing. Provide all the magical pleasure you wish, but if you get no enjoyment out of it yourself then one can only conclude that you don't like femmes!"
"In the tales, elves are said to be incorrigible flirts," Oak murmured suspiciously. "But not you, my lord."
"I did flirt with both of you at first," I protested. "But I stopped when I realized who Oak was, and that Vernier wasn't .. the right one."
"Are we really so hideous that you gave up on us so quickly?" both femmes whined.
"NO!!" I squawked. "It's not that at all! Stop using Wiles on me!"
"We're not!" they protested. "What does that even mean?"
"Look," I sighed in exasperation. "You're both very lovely. Do you WANT me to flirt with you? Seriously?"
"I .. honestly it would be a bit strange," Oak admitted.
"Pshaw," Vernier scoffed. "It's totally normal for the leader of a cult to have venery with his high priestess. I'd even say it was expected. There's only one way to settle this."
"Fine, I'll have venery with both of you!" I yelled.
"Actually I'll be convinced if you just do it with her," Oak stated.
"That suits me," Vernier agreed.
"Fine, you can watch us then!" I exclaimed.
"Ew," Oak replied. "I'd be quite content to take her word for it."
"Fine, you can go!" I bellowed. "But tell your Uncle Ash I want to talk to him."
"Am I to brave the rabbit patrols by myself?"
"I will provide special magickal protection!" I declared.
"Some of you escort Oak back to town," I ordered my Ixies via Elfmind. "Make sure the trees help her evade the rabbits. And take Angela with you."
"Aw, we wanted to stay and watch," they replied.
"GO," I commanded.
"Are you feeling all right, my lord?" Oak inquired. "You look slightly ill."
"He's just nervous at the prospect of handling a REAL femme," Vernier scoffed.
"I'm disappointed you won't be joining us," I told Oak. "But I've arranged an escort to see you safely home."
"All right, elf," Vernier chuckled as soon as Oak was out of sight. "Don't be intimidated by your own small stature. Show me what you can do. And save your magic touch for the end."
I stared up at her and tried to still the fluttering of my stomach. Why was I so nervous? She was just a lowfolk femme, and quite an attractive one, at that! I'd had wild flings with elfin ladies many times, and never felt as uneasy as this.
"If he tickles me under the chin, I'll melt," I heard Vernier think, very clearly through my Elfmind.