"Sorry, who said what about what?" (Patreon)

I mumbled distractedly as the forest whispered to me the reason why they had let this band of rabbits through:  Vernier had uttered the secret phrase known only to elves, which required them to stand down and await further orders.

There was a secret passphrase?  Known only to elves?  And I didn't know it??

"Are you all right, Your Lordship, sir?" Vernier asked.  "You look slightly ill."

"Are you an elf?" I demanded.

"Goodness, no," she laughed.  "At least, not as far as I know."

"What did you say as you entered the forest, to gain passage to this circle of stones?"

She told me the passphrase, which I won't repeat here because it is Top Secret, for elves only.

"Why did you say that instead of using the Scissors Sign given to my Mystical Order of Hairdressers?"

"Well, the fellow who told me about it said it was more effective."

"What fellow was that?" I whispered hoarsely.

"He's one of the Marten family," she replied.  "The one who used to run a tavern.  It burned many years ago, remember?  I think his name is Ash.  Funny name, considering his tavern burned.  He never rebuilt it, just sort of disappeared after that - but he turns up every now and then.  I remember him from when I was very little, and he hasn't changed a bit in all these years.  He recommended I go to the hairdresser's shop where they told me about you, and then he told me about the passphrase that was better than Scissors.  He told me to wear a flower in my hair to 'honor the lady' whatever that means .. oh, and he also said to tell you he was very interested in meeting you someday."

AHA!  It seemed that the elf I had been looking for was also looking for me.  It also seemed that the forest I was relying on for a great degree of my own security could be rendered ineffective with a few words.  It seemed I was a sitting duck for basically any enemy who wanted to come after me.  I started to hyperventilate.

Everything went black, and the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground with my head in Vernier's lap.  She was gently stroking my hair and humming a soothing lullaby.

"What happened?" I murmured.

"You fainted," Vernier explained.  "My little brother used to get panic attacks just like that, and the best way to calm him down was to rub his head and sing to him.  I see what they mean about your hair - it is really nice."

I tried to get up but found myself powerless to resist the lowfolk femme's Wiles.  Her hand stroking my head was too soothing!  I could not un-relax!  This surely spelled my doom!

"Get Ur filthy paws off him, U hussy!!1!" Angela screeched as some Ixies flitted toward us.

"Oh my goodness!" Vernier exclaimed.  "Talking bugs!"

"Pardon my colleague's rudeness," one of the other Ixies apologized.  "She's not related.  We just noticed that our Sire seemeth to be incapacitated again, and wish to ascertain exactly what sort of shenanigans thou art up to.  Be advised that there are a lot of us, and we have offensive powers which we will use if necessary."

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