A reader wonders (Patreon)

if Adler really did do something as unseelie as turn a lowfolk babe into stew, such as the Duchess would do.

Merciful Fuma!!  Why would you ever think I had done such a horrible thing??

Anyway, since I guess some of you are still interested, I'll continue for a while.

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I fixed the spell on Rebecca's father so he would turn back into himself if he chewed on a shoe.  He also had to tell somebody about the wonders of shoes once per day, or he would turn back into a dog.  I used Elfmind to cloud his memory and plant the suggestion that he had witnessed some sort of shoe-related orgy in the woods, which had something to do with the disappearance of his daughter.  Then I instructed the forest to shepherd the dazed pooch back toward his home village.

When my followers awoke, I treated them to a breakfast of fritters made of leftover stew, thickened with acorn flour.  (Delicious, by the way.)  We discussed the plan for incriminating Jerry's cult by spreading rumors about their alleged nefarious doings in the woods, and also insinuating that the rabbits were arming themselves to put a stop to the shoe-cult's deviltry.  I felt a little apprehensive about all of this, but I kept reminding myself that it was my FOLLOWERS who would be lying, not I.

"Oh," I added just before dismissing them.  "I need you to search for a skunk-elf who was meant to be betrothed to me, but she has gone missing."

"How will we know her?" they asked.

"Well, she's minor elfin nobility," I pointed out.  "And her name is .. uh .. Alexandra?  Or maybe Cassandra .. something like that.  Last name Skönk, I remember that quite clearly.  If you find her, send her my way.  She's key to me being able to leave this circle to spread my benevolent hairdressing power across the land.  Also remember to hang a basket of food on the ivy by the well every Saturday, as we discussed."

"Okay, we'll keep our eyes peeled," Oak said as they made ready to leave.  "It was great meeting you.  Thanks for the stew and the shampoo."

"And the hoof polish," the sheep added.

"Thanks for introducing me to these cool people," Rebecca gushed.  "And for my sweet new hairdo!  It's totally cute but also witchy.  I never expected the Dark Lord to be such an awesome guy."

"Just stick with Oak and she'll teach you our ways," I reminded her, still not sure she completely got it.  "And your dad will be fine.  I sent him home last night."

After the cultists were gone, I gathered my Ixies and instructed them to go find as many shoes as they could, and bring them back here to litter the circle and its environs with incriminating footwear.  Then I sat down and had a good think.

I didn't expect my followers to find my bride for me, since it was unlikely that what's-her-name Skönk would turn up in Tulgeyside.  I probably needed to search for her myself, using the scrying tower.  But how could I search for someone whose name I couldn't even remember?  I had no idea where to start looking.  Where had she been sent as a changeling?  That would be a good place to start, but how could I find out?

The other problem with using the scrying tower was that it was in Faerie, and I still hadn't learned how to properly manipulate the time discrepancy between the two worlds.  I needed to stay in touch with my cult during this crucial formative time.  If I disappeared for a year or more, I could lose all the goodwill I had generated.  I had to camp out here for now, which meant the time was a complete loss in terms of learning anything useful.  Unless...

I visualized the library shelf in the scrying tower and apported a book from it.  To my dismay, it was full of that "Lorem ipsum" gibberish.  So were the next two books I brought out.  The fourth volume was some sort of logbook of tower use by Definitive Veracity agents way back at some indeterminate time when that agency still existed.

"I'm not having much luck," I sighed.

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