Quicker than it takes to tell, (Patreon)

FWIP FWIP FWIP!!  I Elf-shot the first three rabbits with magick arrows.  It served them right, for calling me a little girl!  Though I wondered for a moment if this was going to be a problem I was going to encounter with most lowfolk from now on.  They did seem generally to be too crude and barbaric to notice my masculine, elfly qualities.  Perhaps I should invest in some sort of obvious male signifier that even their dull minds could comprehend.  What happened to that false mustache I had earlier?  Sometime later, when I had a moment, I needed to look for it .. but right now, I had a gang of trespassing rabbits to deal with.

"DAD!  NOOO!!" Rebecca screamed as the three bunnies keeled over.  "YOU KILLED HIM!"

"He's only Elf-shot," I snapped.  "He'll be fine.  But why are you so squeamish?  I thought the reason you came out here was to do evil!"

"Yeah, but -"

"If you go to his aid," I warned, "then you will be siding with my enemies, and can never join us."

She looked crestfallen and bewildered, but she stayed where she was.

Meanwhile, after the initial shock of seeing their front line fall, the rabbits farther back began to rally.

"If I put out their fires," I thought at the trees, "will you deal with them?"

"Gladly," came the rustling reply.

I composed a hasty Gramarye on a cloud passing overhead, and commanded it to become a rainstorm.  Lightning and thunder would have been nice for dramatic effect, but I had to work fast so I made do with a drenching downpour and a Commanding Gesture from atop the dolmen.

"I have to admit, I'm impressed," Toby remarked, as the sound of rain was replaced by the sound of a scuffle.

"I would describe myself as more surprised than anything else," Oak murmured quietly in between distant yells of terror and sickening wet cracks from the undergrowth.

"It's not exactly hairdressing," the sheep bleated.  "But it's effective for this situation."

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