"I wish for a hundred wishes!" (Patreon)

"You can't do that," the female scolded him.

"Aye, my boyo, ye can't," I chimed in.  "Besides, tis when were ye after bein' entitled to a wish at all, at all?  Sure an' twas the bonny lass that guessed the name, not you."

"Lord Randall," the male lowfolk exclaimed.  "You're Lord Randall, and I wish -"

"Doesn't count," I snapped.  "Sure an' you already heard her say it, so that's not guessin' at all at all."

"LAME," he pouted.

"Rules are rules, me boyo.  Or how would you like it if it's your name I was guessin' and ye had to do my biddin' if I guessed it right?"

"He will never guess Jerry," the male lowfolk thought, as clear as day.

"Sure an' grant me a hundred wishes ... JERRY," I snarled.  "Doesn't feel so good, does it?"

"I'm sorry," he said, abashed and slightly astonished.

"Now then, colleen, tis no time for dillyin' nor dallyin' but sure it's wishin' for yer own heart's desire ye must be," I urged the female.

"I really wish my sister Ethel didn't hate me," she murmured sadly .. and then I heard her think, "Because she loved Jerry and I had venery with him."

"Urggh," Jerry groaned.  "Way to waste your wish, Trudy.  You could have had fabulous riches!  You could have had a pair of nice warm winter boots!"

"Hush, ye blatherskyte," I scolded him.  "Tis her wish, not yours.  Ah, but, Trudy me lass, sure an the counselin' o' relationships really isn't my line at all, at all.  Might there be somethin' else, of a more practical an' material nature, that ye might be wantin' instead?"

"Well, now that you mention it," she muttered as she leaned close, fondled a lock of my hair, and immediately started to braid it.  "You have the most gorgeous hair.  So radiant!  So lustrous!  So silky!  I wish I had beautiful hair like this."

"She's right, you know," Jerry added.  "It's magnificent.  I wish Ethel had hair like this."

"What do you mean by that??" Trudy snapped, tugging rudely at my follicles.

"OW!"  I yelled, swatting their hands away and jumping back.  "Get yer uncivilized paws off me elfly locks an me noble tresses!  Such a boon is not for the likes o' you!  Sure an' ye've gone an' insulted me!  Away wi' the lot o' ye!  Trudy, send yer sister to me an' I'll see what I can do, but until then I'll parley no more with such a lot o' grabby gabblers!  Good DAY t'ye!"

I pooked into the dolmen and focused my mind on mushrooms.

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