Latest Scans in the Shadowvault and Character Q&A (Patreon)
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Speaking of my befuddlement, I missed a Character Question last month from a reader. Sorry about that, but I've tracked down one of the monsters in question and wrung some answers out of him for you:
One reader asked the Jakaali:
"Aside from eating them, what kinds of things do you do to the victims you capture?"
Answer:
Uh, well, there’s really no end to the kinda stuff you can come up with to do with captives, if you’re really bored. I mean, one time we snuck up on the owlbear over in cave 7 while he was sleepin’, and we strapped a captive gnome to his back. When he woke up, it was hilarious! Watchin’ him hoot and growl and wave his little flipper paws around while the gnome was screamin’ for help, and the owlbear was tryin’ to figure out what had happened. It all worked out all right for Owlbey, though. Turns out that owlbears can rotate their heads almost all the way around if they want to, so the gnome wasn’t much bother after that.
Then you can always blindfold ‘em, roll ‘em in gravy, and play “lick, lick, bite,” but, no, you asked about stuff besides eating ‘em, so that probably doesn’t count. Well, what about the time we dropped that elf girl in the Candy Crone’s syrup vat? The old hag was furious to find this naked overworlder, neck deep in her finest syrup. Then she got a look at the elf, and then she all too happy to help the girl out of the vat. Of course we warned the elf about the old witch’s magical oven before we threw her in, so she wasn’t all that anxious to be rescued, if you know what I mean.
Technically, it wasn’t us that ate the elf, so that sorta counts, right?
I guess eatin’ is really kinda the theme you know? I mean, it’s the reason for bein’ for a jakaali. You just gotta figure out a fun way to get there, you know, spice things up a little! I mean, some monsters just rush right in and start doin’ their business the moment the captive drops her sword, but where’s the fun in that? You gotta make it a game, you know? Some people think we’re simple creatures, like we don’t have any style or imagination, but that ain’t true!
I mean the first time you see the look in a human’s eyes when she wakes up to find herself danglin’ over a pit full o’ randy snuggleboars, and she looks up to see a colony of nipper ants chewin’ through the honey-coated rope she’s hangin’ by… That’s what makes life worth livin’, you know?