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Idealized Part 10 - Panels 001-019 (Patreon)

Published:
2022-06-19 03:00:02
Edited:
2022-06-19 15:24:34
Imported:
2022-06

Content

Evelynn demands an explanation.

Files

Comments

Tomáš Blábol

page 13 found mistake : and the she has the never to bring a man into the equation? , and then she has the nerve to bring a man into the equation? shouldn't it be like this? Amazing story though, like it very much.

punarotta

Threesome is less intense than lesbian experience? ...weird, but maybe makes sense if Evan and Evelynn really are each others ideals... Curious to know how many iterations of time loop was needed to get this right :D Also - I know it is a saying - but: "Hold your horses"? Does Evelynn suspect that Evan has more than one horse-cock in his trousers (thanks to Robin's magics) ? :D

Disbet

A couple other of potential improvements for the dialogues (in addition to the correction of panel 13 as outlined by Tomáš): panel 8 "future self (...) from the future" is a bit heavy sentence, I think it reads just as well when removing the final part, for example "So you were so desperate for some dick tonight you pulled my future self back here?". Also very minor, panel 19 can probably get rid of the comma before the ellipsis at the end "right in front of me, ..." --> "right in front of me..."

Alyson Greaves

I was fully expecting there to be some much more serious reason for Evan to come back from the future, and the threesome would just be a bonus. I kind of love that it was only and entirely for reasons of Horny 😋

RobinHarper
>>86075655

Thanks for the catch! It's always good to have a second pair of eyes catch those little mistakes.

RobinHarper
>>86076740

Definitely not less intense, but having Evelynn's ideal man around might help her get in the mood :p

RobinHarper
>>86082248

The whole purpose of this chapter is simply horny :) Or rather it was, until I found a use for keeping future Evan around a bit for Book 2

MaggieHeels

This is INSANELY BRILLIANT... (Moss approved) ❣️