The Riddler Speaks - Casefile #0129 (Patreon)

EDWARD: realityhelix asks: Salutations, Riddler! Since your choice of vocation tends to put you in danger of physical injury, have you ever set your mind towards the martial arts? They are often as much a mental as a physical discipline, and with your memory, you could probably learn several. Thank you for your time, Realityhelix

While I feel that Martial Arts would be beneficial to someone like myself, I’m afraid it wouldn’t do me a whole lot of good at this juncture. You see, it would take time for me to hone my skills and climb the ranks of discipline to become a master, and in that time, I would no doubt find myself continuously bruised and beaten by those who have already long mastered various styles and disciplines.

This should have been something I learned in my younger and more vulnerable years. Hindsight 20/20, perhaps – but then I have always been too busy flexing my mental muscles to bother with the physical ones.

The most rational thing to do now is simply hire martial artists to fight on my behalf whilst I make good my escape from the various white knights of Gotham.

Then there’s Query and Echo, whom I keep around for when said martial artists come looking for their promised monies. They have trouble coming to terms with the “payment only upon success” clause in our agreements. Query and Echo help them… understand.

Pffft, they act like they’re the only ones the bat has put into intensive care. I have bills too, you know! I’ll never pay them, but they’re there!