The Riddler Speaks - Casefile #0127 (Patreon)

EDWARD: Anonymous asks: What’s your take on mind control, hypnosis? Have you ever used it? What do you think of people who do use it, like Jervis Tetch, for example? 

Oh dear. There seems to be a theme afoot. Perhaps I have slipped down a rabbit hole into Wonderland. What comes next? Barbara Gordon dressed up as Alice, perhaps, inviting me to a jolly tea party? I must decline. I have had the Mad Hatter’s tea, and it is lousy.

So, mind control is the order of the day? To me it seems to be the easy way out of outwitting a person out of one’s league. Instead of trying harder, or simply being better, like yours truly, there is a helpful little gadget to help you out of a tight spot. It seems to be the intellectually weak weapon and not worth troubling oneself over. As for me, I prefer not to use such a thing as I have no use for it. If I so desired, I could create something that would far outstrip anything that Tetch could do, but no. I prefer the brain of an adversary to know that it is defeated without the haze of manipulation upon it. As for the brat in the hat – I do not particularly care for him, nor for his methods. Last time I recall seeing him, I almost dislocated both of my shoulders; I prefer not to repeat such an experience.

I have no respect for those who use it as I would not want it used on myself. That is what you are truly asking. Do I fear the use of psychological manipulation? No, there would be no point to such an irrational fear. There is always the possibility that I could be controlled by the Mad Hatter tomorrow, and the fear would have merely wasted my time. Besides, he would likely only use me to break into a candy store, or buy him some alcohol.

Come to it, I could be sneezed upon by one of Poison Ivy’s plants and submit to plant-based domination. Here now, she could be called someone who utilises mind control. But no, her method of manipulation seems much more creative than Tetch. Oh, and here’s a question for my illustrious listening audience. Do you think Poison Ivy is a carnivore so as to not eat her friends? Perhaps she photosynthesizes and thus has no use for conventional nourishment? I have often wondered, and it seems impolite to ask it, apropos of nothing.

Further, I could inhale one of Dr. Crane’s toxins and lose my mind through aforementioned fear. Ah yes, Dr. Crane. He would be another that uses mental manipulation to achieve his own ends. However, he helped to save my life some time ago, so he gets the old free pass from my scrutiny this time. I do have some gratitude, after all. 

Well now, let us see. Will that immature little behatted rat now have cause to chase me and kick my shins for such words? The macrocephaletic maniac will have to find me first; he is welcome to challenge me to a battle of wits any time. I have no doubt about it; if I awaken as if hungover, I will know who was the greater.