The Riddler Speaks - Casefile #0077 (Patreon)

EDWARD: Anonymous asks: Have you ever committed a sexual assault on a woman before? Sorry if it's a bit candid. You are a criminal, after all.

Honestly? Do I have to grab you by collar anonymous, and tattoo the words: "THINK BEFORE YOU TYPE" on your forehead? Because I'm beginning to think that some of my listeners might need it! Because of course, all criminals commit sexual assault - it's a regular Friday night activity! After a round of poker with your friends and trying to convince Crane to mix Fear Serum and Jack Daniels! In case you can't tell - I'm being sarcastic, anonymous. Because that is honestly, one of the stupidest questions I have ever had the displeasure of hearing. No, anonymous, I don't do that. Your average rapist - and yes, sadly, there is such a thing as an average rapist - is someone with deep psychological issues, mostly based on control and his own inferiority. He fears women, or hates them, or has to somehow justify his pathetic little existence by making them afraid of him. Or perhaps he knows a woman and somehow decides that she 'owes' him sex - with predictable results. In short my anonymous friend, rape is a disgusting attempt at a power play by a pathetic individual. And I AM NOT - that sort of person. 

"You are a criminal, after all"? Honestly? That's a logical fallacy of the worst kind. By definition, all crimes are committed by criminals, and all criminals commit crimes; but not all crimes are committed by all criminals. The one does not guarantee the other. If all criminals committed all crimes, I'd somehow have to make time in my already crowded schedule for rape, incest, hit and run driving, eco-terrorism, domestic terrorism, international terrorism, parallel parking, and wearing an unlicensed goatee in Massachusetts. My criminality does not guarantee my actions, any more than my virtuousness would. Grow up, anonymous. Some of us DO have standards.