Caption T-day! (Patreon)

Hey babe! Look at this apartment complex in this prime location I just acquired! Yeah, it's all ours now! What a great birthday gift for me, right?

The current tenants? They all moved out, naturally. How much did it cost to what? Buy them out? What do you mean? Why would it cost anything? I flew down the corridors, knocked on their doors, and just asked them, and they were more than happy to do it.

How much did I pay for the complex? Babe, I don't understand what you're talking about. I walked in, they saw me, and they begged to give it to me.

My outfit? Not business enough?

Well, clearly, I know a lot more about business than you do, wouldn't you say? I was just flying through the neighborhood, and I happened to stop at manager's office window. I stopped to give him a little wave, just being polite, you know. He just stared at my chest for a few minutes until he shuddered. 

Then I gave them a little smile like this...

....and he begged me to take over his entire life's net worth. And also shuddered and moaned really hard until he passed out.

Babe? Are you okay? Aw, you wanna give me everything you're worth too? We're already together and I already own every bit of you! But thanks for being romantic anyways!

Image submitted by Garth

Model is Ashley Tervort