Caption T-day! (Patreon)

You think I won because of my superpowers? No, I trained hard to gain my superpowers. You don't know what it's like to sacrifice like I have in order to run a one minute mile, to sprint a 200m dash in 2 seconds, to leap over hurdles as effortlessly as I do. I earned it. 

And for the next four years, I expect my strength to be superhuman too. All the weights people are lifting now, I'll do it with a single finger. My supple strength and flexibility, along with my speed, means I will win every gymnastic routine. I'll be the only gold medal holder. In all categories. Ever.

And then I'll figure out what to train next...