How I have been feeling and what is to come. (Patreon)

Heya peeps. I know I have been quiet and patchy but this end of the year hit harder more than most. I won't go into everything but real life events and art this year has been a rollercoaster.

The last 2 being the hardest for multiple reasons that all come to similar or the same points. Me not delivering on promises, being told and promised things and it not happening due to sheer unlucky circumstances or just being forgotten.

But the big thing is not focusing on the people that have supported and had my back since I started making a name for myself, and not pursuing what I have wanted to do. I have easily had highest goal on my Patreon close to met this year and I let it slip, I couldn't deliver on things that I had time too, and seeing that slowly drip down to a shell of its potential really sucks. 

I wasted time pursuing things and people that didn't matter or reciprocate unless it was under specific circumstances. Even at the detriment of myself. It has impacted my art and my drive severely, and I could see it passively. It sucks to see interactions with people you used to hang out with slip into near nothing and never return. I felt like my peak was back in 2020 maybe? My growth was huge, I was experimenting and growing, People liked my characters and what I was doing. but things irl took a hold and I had to near completely support myself and significant other then suddenly half way through the year things fell off and never came back.

I feel like my characters and what I do have no impact or excitement to them, and that is mainly due to me. I have stagnated and lost sight of what I wanted to do to chase people and things that distracted me from what I wanted to become as an artist. Opportunities with my peers and friends fell through constantly or were brushed off and forgotten. In a lot of cases just to pursue other more favorable prospects. Which reflects to the lack of impact I feel my work has. I want that impact back. I lost it. And it sucks. I want it back. 

In 2023 things are going to change. Obligations will be met, I want to increase my skill and execution so I can make real what I want to see. I'm tired of being unreliable, lukewarm, and wasting my time, I want to succeed, and It is high time that I start doing something about that. 

Thankyou for everyone that supports and uplifts me. This year hasn't been all bad, by far it's been one of he best honestly. My living situation is a complete 180 from last year where I was scraping to get by and paying for nearly everything in a house of 2. Things are down the middle and as of now Im in a neutral spot. But I think working to survive, and living to work hurt my art. But I don't have to anymore and I can tap into why I wanted to do art again and work more on improving and growing. I want to draw for a living and make content people look forward too, more importantly to make content I can be proud of, and to share it with you all.