Possible Delays (Patreon)

TW: Mental illness talk

Hello my sweet supporters, as always I want to thank you for your patience while I struggle with my health. This months reward, while i'm eager to draw it will probably be late due to dealing with Depression and Anxiety. 

If you'd like to know more you can keep reading, but if not that's okay!

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Honestly, for awhile now, a very long time, perhaps it never stopped-My several illnesses keep weighing down on me like a heavy burden. I am actively fighting it and reading up on it and trying new countermeasures constantly. I had what i consider many breakthroughs regarding my upbringing and past trauma... and yet these horrible feelings aren't lifted. I want to do so much but I am so tired. I want to have friends but socializing takes so much energy. I want to be alone but not lonely. I am paralyzed with emptiness while caring about everything. 

I want to live but living is so painful. It's not supposed to be that hard is it? I keep working so hard, take vitamins, supplements, CBD oil, therapy, meditation... it takes so much energy out of me. I'm supposed to work, workout, eat healthy, socialize and while im at it build a house and look like a Instagram model, love myself and need no partner. Meanwhile every media sells romance as the ultimate happiness to achieve. 

I want that safety, I want that supply of love, I want to feel at peace. But another person isn't my happiness dispenser nor my savior. Again, this is a thing i have to do myself. Among all the other things. It's hard and heavy to be disabled. It's annoying that they can't find a cure for depression when so many struggle with it. Depression is a monster, a heavy monster that teams up with Anxiety to take everything from you. 

I'm just so frustrated. I read sucess stories like ''I was depressed for a year'' and then it disappeared??? Mine doesn't go away despite all the things i do. 

Honestly, i'm excited to draw Moe-Chan in self indulgent chub porn! I love it. I love drawing lewd and cute. I wanna do it. I also wanna workout and do nice things and be at peace... but everything is so hard. Every thing I do is. 

That's why, I'm very grateful for your support and patience. Please, believe me when I say i'm eager to draw. As soon as I can I will!