Robin-Girl (Act 2) (Patreon)

<Act 2>

Batman and Robin arrived at the offices of Pat Pending. Mr. Pending's executive assistant a tall man, with brown hair and a short mustache was sitting behind a desk. His legs were crossed in a feminine manner. His index finger was twirling his hair around itself. He was looking into space with a vacant smile on his face.

“Like Batman,” the assistant said in a high-pitched voice, “what are you doing here?”

“We heard you were robbed.”

“Oh yeah, I was like robbed. Well not like me, but my boss, he was robbed. But he wasn't here. Can you be robbed if you aren't there? I guess you can because he isn't here!” he rambled on.

“What's your name?”

“It's Jonathan. People call me Jonathan. I don't know if I like like that anymore. I think Joannie would be better.”

“OK, Joannie, what happened?”

“Who's Joannie?”

“You?”

“No, I'm Jonathan. Didn't I tell you?” I thought I like told you. If I didn't I'm Jonathan. You can like call me Jonathan.”

“OK, Jonathan, what happened?”

“When?”

“When the hat was stolen?”

“What hat?”

“Holy Airhead,” Robin said. “He has the attention span of a goldfish.”

“It'll be OK, Robin,” Batman reassured him.

“When the hat was stolen, what happened?”

“I was sitting here, at my desk. I was doing something. When this man came in. Sort of like her.”

Batman and Robin turned. Batgirl had entered the office. She stood with her hands on her hips. Batman wondered how she found out about this new theft but didn't have time to ask. He didn't want to break the train of Jonathan's thoughts. The cars of that train were barely held together as it was.

“OK, someone came in? Was it a woman?”

“Yeah, a woman. She was very pretty. She wore a black dress. It was very short it only came down to her thighs. It was a strapless dress with a lacy white neckline. She wore it with an off-black hose and a black pump with a small heel. Her hair was an asymmetric bob cut with side bangs, in a dirty blonde. She wore a bowler hat and dangling earrings.”

Jonathan couldn't concentrate for ten seconds on the details of the crime, but he could describe every feature of the woman's wardrobe and hairstyle.

Jonathan continued, “The woman came up to me and asked a question. What did she like ask me, it was where not when, no what?”

“Then what happened?”

“I looked up and there was this ugly man standing behind the woman in the short cocktail dress. You know the black one with the white lace neckline. Did I like tell you it was white lace?”

“Go on.”

“Then the man's hat popped and a thing came out. The next thing I knew they had left.”

“They took the hat?”

“Yeah, didn't I tell you?”

“Anything else?”

“The man told me to tell Batman. Batman that's you. You know I love you. You like know that.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He said to tell you, not all derbies and are brown or in Kentucky. Then he left.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don't know. Let me think.”

“I'll like think too. If I find out can I call you?”

Batman doubted that in his state, Jonathan could be helpful, but he humored him. “You can contact me through police headquarters.”

“That's the big building with all the cops?”

“Yeah.”

The trio, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl adjourned to the hall to discuss a plan of action.

“That's Pat Pending's assistant?” Batgirl asked.

“Yes.”

”Why would he have an assistant like that. He doesn't seem very helpful.”

“That isn't how he usually acts. At least I don't think so.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Mad Hatter did that to him. The Mat Hatter can change the personality of anyone.”

“He can?”

“Yeah, we've dealt with him before. He's a master hypnotist.”

“Hypnosis? That's all?”

“Well, there is a chemical element also.”

“How do you fight a person like that.”

“Well, that won't happen to us. We have a defense.”

“A defense.”

“Yes, we made these eye drops.” Batman produced a bottle from his utility belt. “It keeps us safe.”

“Great.”

“Here, you should use it too.”

“You're right. How does it work?”

“One drop in each eye will keep you safe.”

“For how long?”

“Forty-eight hours.”

Batgirl took the offered bottle and tilted her head back to put a drop in each eye. Batman and Robin waited a moment for her to finish.

“OK, now what do you think of the message?”

“How did it go again? Not all derbies are brown or in Kentucky.”

“What does that mean?”

“I got it,” Batgirl exclaimed. “The old abandoned Black Derby hat factory on Deckel Drive.'

“Let's go,” Robin agreed.

“No, I don't think so. The Mad Hatter is not like the Joker or Riddler. It isn't his style to leave clues for us. I think it would be better to look for where he'll strike next.”

“Where is that?”

“Where another Hut Sombrero hat is.”

“Which one?”

“The one that is the most expensive of those left.”

“Where is that?”

“We'll have to ask the bat-computer. We'll use the link through the batmobile.”

The group was about to leave, but at that moment, Pat Pending's assistant walked into the hall.”

“Where are you going?”

“There's a sale at Gambels. I have to get a few things.”

“I think you should wait.”

“But the sale is today only.”

“I don't think we should leave this man alone. Not until the effects wear off.”

“OK.”

“I'll wait here,” Batman told Robin and Batgirl. “You go to the batmobile and see what the bat-computer says.”

“Sure thing Batman.”

Batman waited with the assistant until help arrived. Batgirl exited unobserved. She wanted to visit the Black Derby, as she suspected it was really a clue. Robin went to the batmobile as requested.

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