Vacation From Yourself Part 1 (Patreon)

John Sawyer awoke early as he always had. He got out of bed, did his business in the bathroom, and then made himself some breakfast. He had a busy day planned for today. He always had a busy day. He enjoyed his work, but it was very stressful.

As he passed the front door of his apartment, he noticed something had been slipped under the door. It was clearly an advertisement of some sort. This wasn't unusual, solicitors placed advertisements under his door regularly. He mostly just threw them out when he saw them, but this one caught his eye.

“Vacation From Yourself” is what the leaflet said in big bold letters. John saw the ad and wondered about it. What do they mean by vacation from yourself? He could use a vacation from himself. His life was very stressful, he wished he could have a complete vacation.

John had vacations before. Lots of them. At least two a year. But his life, or more importantly, his work would creep in. He would invariably check what was happening with a case or he could be phoned about an 'emergency' and his mind would be brought back. He couldn't get away and relax. Thus, he couldn't get the complete relaxation he needed.

John was a high-powered lawyer. He was at the very top of his profession. But even with his expertise, it was a stressful job. He sweated all the details. He knew that one wrong word or even a comma in the wrong place could come back to haunt him. Thus, he never truly relaxed even while on vacation. His life would interfere with him truly enjoying his time. What he needed was a vacation from himself.

John looked over the ad, it was some sort of virtual reality thing. He would experience four months as someone else in what seemed like a few days of real-time. That seemed perfect, he could experience four months of total relaxation and not be away from his own work for very long.

This wouldn't be a vacation in the normal sense of the word. It would be a vacation from himself. He would live out the life of what would seem another person. He would seem to have their stresses and motivations thus escaping from his own.

The ad said, “Living an ordinary life can be boring, so our vacations have you living a life in which something is going on. You can be a teenage girl who is worried about the prom, an executive trying to appease a new client, an intern who just graduated medical school, a little girl who is about to have her first period, or any of the scores of oth`er scenarios. You will be living out an interesting life that isn't your own, that is the vacation. When you return you will be refreshed and happy to get back to your own life.”

John thought this was intriguing. Most lives are boring, day to day going to school, or working, who cares. But there are turning points in one's life. They might seem stressful, but what they really were, was interesting. No one reads a novel about the ordinary times a person has. When things don't go right or there is an important event, the books become fun to read. That is the vacation I want. I want to be as far away from my own life as possible, but not be bored. Taking care of a child is boring, but the anticipation of having a first child is not. The more John thought about the idea, the more it appealed to him.

John went down to the Vacation From Yourself offices to see what it was like. The offices looked very modern. It looked like a combination travel agent and doctor's office.  The offices were well lit and inviting.

“Can I help you?” the receptionist asked.

“Yes, I am John Sawyer. I wanted to find out what this entire thing is about.”

“The concept is simple. You will get to experience another life, one that is extremely unrelated to your own. You will for a time forget all your old worries and stresses for someone else's. It's a vacation from your own life.”

“But I read through the advertisement, how will this relieve my own stresses?”

“Vacations even in your own life can be stressful. There is the getting ready and the travel to get there, and the 'this and that' of what you are doing. But when you return you feel invigorated. That is because just the act of doing something else relieves the stress of what you need to do. Even a terrible vacation is better than no vacation. That is our theory. We take this one step forward. You aren't just doing something different, but you are someone different too. It's something completely new. You can enjoy yourself because you will be immersed in an entirely new experience. Your old life won't bother you are all.”

“That makes sense.”

“But we don't want your life to be boring. Most of the time being ordinary is just that, ordinary. So, we put you at a time that is a turning point in that person's life. Let's say you are put back in high school. Going to school every day doesn't provide excitement. But let's say you are an athlete right before the big game. There will be stress, you might lose, and a whole host of other problems. It'll be stressful in its own way, but it will also be interesting. But most importantly, there will be a break from the problems in your real life. This will be something different. When it is over, you'll be refreshed. Ready to resume your real life.”

“Does it really work like that?”

“Yes, it does. The best part is that you will experience several months in just a few days so it won't interfere with your real life. You won't miss any time at work.”

“How does it work>”

“The first thing you do is pick who you want to be and what you want to do. We have many scenarios. You should pick one that is as far away from your real life as possible.”

“Uh um”

“You are a middle-aged man; your stress is from work and family?”

“I'm divorced. But there is lots of stress there with the drama of my ex-wife. I am also a lawyer, I'm on a big case. Well actually three cases, but one in particular. I'm working nearly eighty hours a week. It's been going on for some time. I need this vacation, but I really don't have time.”

“That is what we are here for. We can fit it into a weekend. But when you return, you'll be as refreshed as if you spent months away.”

“That's what I need.”

“OK, I would suggest you become someone nothing like you. I think you should be a girl.”

“A girl?”

“Yes, it is so totally different than what you are now that it'll be perfect for you.”

“But a girl. What do I know about that?”

“We'll let you know what you need to know.”

“But a girl?”

“Let me show you some scenarios. Just read through these.” John was handed several folders.  They looked new as if they hadn't been handled before.  John liked that.  These people seemed to be professional.

John picked up the first folder, on the other side it said, “Junior Prom Adventure”.

He read through it:

You are Shelly Hackett a sixteen-year-old pretty girl. You are trying to convince yourself that you are pretty enough, but like most, you are worried about your appearance. Similarly to the girls your age, you wonder if breasts are big enough, your legs are long enough, if your butt is too big, will a boy ask you to the junior prom. All your friends are going, how can you not go? Your adventure starts three months before the junior prom and continues to shortly after the prom. Can you get a boy to take you? Will he be the right boy? What dress will you wear? Do you have to lose a few pounds? Will the boy you want to ask another girl? Will that other girl be one of your friends? Are your friends really helping you or are they talking about you behind your back? These and scores of other concerns you will experience as you navigate the latter part of your junior year in high school. How it all turns out is up to you!

That sounded interesting to John. He went to his own prom when he was in high school, but he felt he was in change. He picked the girl, not that his first choice worked out. But he felt in control. Now he would be on the other end. He would relinquish control of events. That might be the perfect vacation for him.

John picked up the second scenario. It was called “The First.”

John assumed it was about a first date. He read on.

“Your name is Dee Croxton. Dee is short for Delores, but you like to be called Dee. You are an eleven-year-old girl. All of your friends have had their first period and you are worried that it won't happen to you. You know this is impossible, you'll have your first period eventually, but it worries you regardless. Day after day your apprehension grows. You talk to your friends about it, they give you advice, but they know as little about this as you do. Your mom says it'll happen soon, but she doesn't know when. You are growing up, but not fast enough. Or are you growing up too fast? Discover the time in a girl's when she starts to become being a woman. Experience your first period, your first training bra, and the talk your mother has with you about what to do and also about boys. You'll change a lot in these four months. During these big changes in your life, you will discover that middle school is a lot harder than elementary school as you make new friends and hormones flood your brain for the first time.”

John thought about this. He didn't know if this was a better scenario or a worse one. In the former one, the primary crux would be on boys and dating. He didn't know if he liked that. This one would be about growing up and fitting in. This one might be better.

The third scenario was simply called “School.”

“You are Janet Carroll, you just turned four. It is nearing the end of summer. Your Mommy enters your room, and she tells you, next week you will be going to Pre-K. She tells you, 'You will have lots of fun and that you will make lots of friends.' But you don't want to go. You want to stay with Mommy. You are very attached to your Mommy and your Dolly Mrs. Butterfield.

“Can I take Mrs. Butterfield with me?” you ask. “I'm sorry honey, she'll have to stay here.” 

That night you wet the bed for the first time in months. You worry about having accidents during the days. Will you have to start wearing pull-ups again? Can you really have fun at school? Will the new girls like you? What about those icky boys, you hate boys what will you do about them? Will you ignore them? Will they ignore you? You are growing up fast.”

John didn't know if he wanted to date boys as in the first scenario, and having a period, even a first one didn't appeal to him. This might be best. Growing up and going to Pre-K might be best.

John looked at the final scenario, it was called “Potty.”

Your name is Missy, you aren't sure what your last name is, it doesn't matter, you aren't quite two years old. You have learned to walk; you can say a few words although you understand more words than you can say. Mommy calls you a big girl. She tells you it is time to learn how to potty. You don't know what that means, but your Mommy smiles are you. Over the next four months, you learn lots of new things. You see the world from your stroller, you walk around the house allowing you to explore the house at your own pace, every day you learn how to say new words and most importantly you learn how to potty. But do you really want to? You've been in diapers your entire life. Maybe you don't want to wear big girl panties? You have a whole new world to explore, full of things you don't understand and hidden dangers. But Mommy will always be there to keep you safe...that is when you are not at daycare, or you wake up in the middle of the night to your dark bedroom and a scary dream full of monsters.”

“A whole new world to explore. That sounds like fun. I won't be responsible to anyone or for anything. I'll be able to sleep twelve hours a day, this might be the most relaxing one yet,” John thought.

John looked through the scenarios for a while until the attendant asked him, “Have you decided?”

“I don't know. These are all really different from anything I have done before.”

“That's the point.”

“I don't know which to choose.”

“Well, you can try one, and then if that doesn't work you can try another.”

“I can?”

“Yeah, I mean you can't spend weeks in one decide you don't like it and then try another. There isn't enough time for that, but a couple of days to see if you like it.  If you prefer something else, we can swap you to another scenario and you won't waste much time in the real world. It'll seem like a few months, but it'll only be a few days. The perfect vacation from yourself.”

“OK, let me try the prom one first.”

“No problem. Just come over here, look through the papers and sign them and we can start.”

John looked through the legal papers that spelled the whole thing out. It described the person he was supposed to be and the things that could happen to him.

“Shouldn't this say I will go to the Prom? That I will find a date? You know a happy ending?”

“No, there has to be a possibility that you don't go. If you know that it'll all turn out in the end, then it's a smooth ride, not an adventure. Besides, what if you decide you didn't want to go? Would it force you to go? Without the risk of a bad time, how can you have a good time? If you know it'll all work out what's the point?”

“I guess you're right. But I don't want to end up all alone on prom day. That doesn't sound like too much fun.”

“For the person, you will be, it'll be highly likely that you will go and have a good time, but just not a hundred percent certain.”

“I guess that is OK.”

After all the details were worked out, papers signed, money paid, John was taken to get hooked up to the machine. He was told it would take a while. Everything had to be precise to give the most realistic experience. John felt totally relaxed as they fastened this and that. So much so he drifted to sleep.

When John woke up, he was lying under the covers on a bed. The bed felt soft. His body felt warm. There was a pillow under his head. He had never been in this room before, he knew that. The first thing he saw was the far wall, it was covered in wallpaper. The wallpaper's background was a very light pink with a pattern of slightly darker pink and light blue clovers with a small light circle in each. Hanging on the far wall was a map of the counties of the world. Tack to that were small paper awards for this and that, such as “Outstanding Artist” and a papier mâché sunflower.

There was a light pink chest of drawers to the right and below the map. The pink was lighter than the flowers but darker than the wallpaper background. It had five horizontal drawers each about two feet wide and ¾ of a foot high. There were pink nobs to pull each drawer open.

To the left of the map, was a door that led to a bathroom. John could see into it, it had a bath and a sink inside.

In the far-most-left corner of the room, there was a desk that matched the chest of drawers in style and color. It had its own drawers as well as a chair in front of it and a lamp on the desk. On the left wall, he could see a window with pink drapes that matched the wall as well as hot pink shutters to keep the sun out.

To his left, was a nightstand (with another lamp on its surface) that matched the rest of the furniture and another bed in the room. He could see the hot pink paisley comforter that matched the one he was under. To the left side of the room were a closet and the door to enter and exit the room.

There were painting on the wall that matched the decor, including ones over both beds and around the desk.

On the floor was a tan carpet. The room was tidy as everything was in its own proper place. There wasn't anything amiss on the floor or on the desks or tables.

It was clearly a room for a girl.  John's adventure had begun.

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