Kolchak: The Role Swapper Chapters 22-End (Patreon)

Chapter 22

Kolchak and Carol left for the New Market Mall.  They arrived early.  Carol used that opportunity to stop at the Kyoto National Bank.  She needed money for the week.  Her teller was Bud Bundy who was wearing a vibrant blue above-the-knee woman's length business suit with black accents on the shoulders and a black bodice underneath.  He had been a vice president at the bank but was caught masturbating in the restroom and was demoted to a teller.

After the transaction, Bud closed the window, he had to go to the restroom and readjust his 'skirt'.

"OK, where to?” Kolchak asked.  He assumed that Carol would give him a general direction to look.

Instead, Carol told him, "To Gary's Shoes and Accessories.  That's where it'll be.”

"Why didn't you tell me that before?”  Carol noticed Kolchak's braces when he talked.

"I didn't know before.  But now I'm sure it'll be there.”

They looked at the directory and found the directions to the store.

On the way, Carol asked, "When did you get braces?”

"Just before.  I got them at your house.  I think they were your daughter's.”

"Oh, did you get just the braces or her teeth too?”

"I don't know.  I haven't looked in a mirror.  Enough about that.  Let's go into the store like we are buying shoes and wait.”  Both Carol and Kolchak wore woman's shoes now.  Carol because Peter as part of swapping his life with his mother's swapped all her apparel including shoes.  Kolchak swapped his feet including his shoes with a waitress at a diner. It had been his second swap.

Entering the store, they saw only one employee, his name was Al (Bundy).  Kolchak was sure that Al had already been swapped with someone else.  Al was a middle-aged man, but he had the legs of a sexy young woman. He was wearing brown women-style boots with a medium-sized heel.  Since the swap, Al now had more practical knowledge about woman's shoes than he had ever had before.  This knowledge increased sales for the store.

"May I help you?” Al asked.

"Yeah, I'm looking for a nice pump that I can walk around in.  I'm on my feet a lot.”

"Surely, we have many fine options, let me get some.”  Al disappeared into the back to get some shoes.

"Nobody is here,” Kolchak told Carol.

"Except for the salesman.”

"I think the salesman has been swapped.  There has to be someone who hasn't been swapped for it to work.”

Carol knew Kolchak was right. "What should we do, leave?”

"We still have to wait for it here.  Maybe another customer will walk in?”

Al returned with several pumps.  The first was a Bardot pump in pink, It was closed-toed and had a sturdy one and three-quarter-inch heel.  Al put it on Kolchak's foot, it felt pretty good.  It had a padded footbed.

"It's nice.”

"I have something else.”

The next was a willow Mary Jane wedge pump in black with a strap to keep the shoe secure.  It had a two-inch heel and a memory foam insole which made it even more comfortable than the last.  But before Kolchak could say anything, the Role Swapper appeared.  It looked around and left quickly.  It didn't like the swapping options.

"I have to go!” Kolchak said.  But he couldn't leave right away, he had to take off the shoe and put on his own.  That took a total of 40 to 50 seconds.

By the time they got out, the Role Swapper was out of their sight.  "Where to?” Kolchak asked.

"Umm, I think that way.”  Carol pointed.

Kolchak turned a corner and was face to face with the role swapped.  But he didn't get an opportunity to accuse it.  The Role Swapper passed through a wall and was gone.  But not before it swapped Kolchak with Angela Bower.  He didn't know there was a swap until later.

"That didn't go well.”

"No, I guess it didn't.”

"I don't think it knows we're after it.”

"I guess not.”

"We can try again tomorrow.”

"I have to get home anyway.”

Chapter 23

They left the mall and drove to Carol's house. Kolchak then drove to his own house. But his apartment was different than it had been. It was clean and there was stuff that he didn't recognize.

"Hey Carl,” a friendly voice rang out. It was his housekeeper, Tony Micelli. Kolchak knew who it was, and where he came from. It was the swap with Angela. He now had her family. This included not only her housekeeper Tony (and his daughter Samantha) who kept his apartment spotless but all her son, Jonathan, as well as her mother who was living close by, Mona. Kolchak's apartment had become a lot more crowded since he left.

Kolchak was wrong, Mona his new mother wasn't living with him.  She was a few doors down.

The next morning, Kolchak awoke to the sounds of a full apartment and breakfast being made.   The kids, Sam and Jonathan were getting ready for school.  Tony was making breakfast for everyone.

Kolchak sat down at the kitchen table and was given a cup of coffee.  "Eggs will be done in a few minutes,” Tony informed him.

"Thank you.”

The kids were already eating sugary cereal.  They weren't related, but they were acting more like brother and sister than strangers.  They must have been living together for a couple of years by now.  Kolchak tried to remember, it came to him, it was a little over two and a half years since Tony took the job as housekeeper and brought his daughter with him.

Chapter 24.

Kolchak had spent the night thinking about what went wrong the day before.  He wasn't prepared, he let himself get distracted with buying shoes.  Shoes he didn't need, but he thought that second pair was really cute, and they were comfortable too.  "I should buy a pair.”

Plus, he shouldn't wait until the last minute.  The trip to the bank didn't give him enough time to look over the shoe store.  He also didn't know that Carol could be so specific as to where the Role Swapper would be.

"Today will be different,” Kolchak determined.

Tony placed the eggs in front of Kolchak.  There was also toast and hash browns.  Eating was a bit of a chore now that he had braces.  This was his first day with them.  He had to get used to them.  His teeth weren't his either.  They had fewer cavities than he had, but they were smaller and crooked, thus the need for braces.  In a year or two, they would straighten out and fit his mouth.

Kolchak took the kids to the bus stop to wait for the bus.  He felt an obligation to do so.  Jonathan was his son now.

Chapter 25.

Returning to his apartment, he called Carol and asked her where the Role Swapper would be today.

"It'll be at a bar called Cheers.  I'll be there at about 4:30.”

"OK.”

"Do you know the place?”

"Not really.”

"It's a small neighborhood bar under a restaurant called Melville's.”

"OK, I'll look it up.  I'll pick you up at about three.”

"Fine.”

Kolchak found that the bar opened for the lunch crowd at Melville's at 11 AM, so he got there first and looked the place over.  He was going to be ready.

The place looked perfect.  He didn't see any obvious swaps with the people there, plus at 4:30 there should be lots of people going in and out.

Before returning heading to the Brady household, Kolchak stopped back at Gary's shoes and got the wedged Mary Jane shoes.  He liked them and they were comfortable.  Al had changed, the Role Swapper must have returned at one point.  Al now had a full head of red bouffant hair with bangs.  Kolchak didn't pay him any mind; he was more interested in the shoes.

Kolchak picked up Carol at the proper time.  They were going to a bar so naturally, Marcia couldn't go.  Although she cried her eyes out when Carol was about to leave.

The plan was simple, go to the bar, sit away from each other so they could cover more of the area.  Point and call out "I see you, you are Ydnimdocknum” as soon as they see the Role Swapper.  That should do it according to Mork from Ork.

"Are you ready?” Kolchak asked one last time.

"Yeah, I'm ready.”  Carol knew she would never get back to normal, but she could stop others from having her fate.

Kolchak nursed a coke with a squirt of grenadine.  Carol had a virgin strawberry daiquiri.  They had to wait 45 minutes for the Role Swapper.  They were indeed early.  Unbeknownst to either of them, the Role Swapper was at work in the restaurant above them as they waited.

At 4:30 the Role Swapped floated down the stairs that led to Cheers.  The Role Swapper could have come right through the floor if it wanted but didn't.

Carol saw it first.  Instead of saying her line, she called out to Kolchak first.  “There it is!”

Then she pointed directly at it as it moved slowly screaming out, "I see you, you are Ydnimdocknum.”  There wasn't a big explosion or a flash of color.  The Role Swapped disappeared.  It was gone forever.

Sam Malone the owner of the bar came over.  "Miss, what are you doing?”

"I umm, I mean I was just, I thought that was someone I knew.”

"Who?”  Sam didn't see anyone, there wasn't anyone by the stairs where the Role Swapper was.

A moment later, Kolchak came over.

"Did it work?” Kolchak asked.

"I don't know?”

"Do you know this woman?” Sam asked.

"Yes.”

"What is going on here?”

"It's hard to explain.”

"Try.”

Kolchak didn't know where to begin.  He knew that Sam wouldn't believe him.

Finally, Sam told them, “You have to leave.”

"OK, OK, I'm going.”

Carol and Kolchak left the bar.

Epilogue

Voiceover by Kolchak.

"That's how it ended.  There wasn't a bang.  There wasn't even a whimper.  It was just simply gone.  Carol says she doesn't feel its presence anymore.  I see the wreckage caused by the Role Swapper, but I don't see any additional damage.  More people involved don't even know what happened.  They just live as if they had always been this way.  Carol has learned to accept her husband's advances.  Greg got married to Sam the Butcher during summer vacation.  Marcia is potty trained again.  Life goes on.

As for me, my life has changed in many ways.  I was reinstated as a reporter after getting a clean bill of health by Dr. Hartley.  I am almost an AA-cup in my chest development.  I am a mother to Jonathan.  Finally, Tony, my housekeeper got down on his knee and asked for my hand in marriage.  It was so sweet I just had to accept.  We'll be married during winter break.  Samantha will be my bridesmaid and my son Jonathan will be Tony's best man.  I never told my family about the Role Swapper, why should I?  There isn't anything that anyone can do about it anyway, why make anyone sad?

End.

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