Kolchak: The Role Swapper Chapter 17-18 (Patreon)

Chapter 17

Kolchak took the stairs. He found a payphone and called Carol Brady. Carol could see the Role Swapper much better than he could.

"Mrs. Brady?” Kolchak asked when the phone was answered.

"This is Mrs. Brady, who is this?”

"It's Carl Kolchak.”

"You don't sound like him, "

"I'm sorry, I've been through some changes, including my voice.  You understand.”

"I understand indeed.  I hope nothing too serious.”

"Not yet.”

"Good.”

"Why are you calling?”

"I discovered what we are up against.  I need your help.”

"My help?”

"Yes, you can spot it better than I can.  I'm going to kill it.  You want it killed, right?”

"Yes, but will return us to normal?”

"I don't know.  I didn't think to ask.   Probably not.”

"How do we return to normal then?”

"There might not be a way.  It should be killed anyway.   So, it doesn't happen to anyone else.”

"You're probably right, but if there is a way to return to normal.”

"If there was...”   Kolchak had four changes but only two that he had detected, his itchy chest and his voice.  Those were obvious.  His smaller feet and bigger, rounder butt, was less obvious.

"Are you sure we can't hold it down and make it change us back before we kill it?”

"That isn't how this works.  We'll only have one chance, and we need surprise.”

Carol wished she could return to normal or to be Carol all the way instead of this halfway condition.  Everyone treated her as Carol Brady: wife and mother, but she still had the body of a Peter Brady: a thirteen-year-old boy.  She had spent as much time as possible around women hoping the Role Swapper would finish the job, but it wouldn't.  Carol realized how foolish she had been to encourage a swap in the first place.  Peter realized he was in the worst shape of everybody else.  At least the other people didn't know anything had changed.  He was quite aware that he would never physically be a woman which was worse.  Especially when Mike wanted to be intimate.

Carol started to wonder if Mike had always been so sexually aggressive.  Peter hadn't noticed when he was himself.  Not that he was paying attention to such things.  Peter had only been thirteen at the time.  Maybe Mike had been swapped to.  There wasn't any way to know for sure.

Carol decided the Role Swapper was too dangerous to be allowed to exist.  Carol would have to go along with Kolchak's plan.

"How do you do it?” Carol asked.

Kolchak explained the instructions Mork gave him.  He also explained who Mork was and what he knew about the nature of the Role Swapper.

"How will we kill him?”

"You'll help me find him.  You seemed to be able to sense where he will be.  Then I'll accuse it as Mork told me to.  That should kill it.  If I accuse it while pointing directly at it and while there is someone who isn't swapped around it should be destroyed.”

“Should be?”

“That is what he told me.  I assume he knows.”

“What if he is just putting you on.  Maybe they are in cahoots?”

“I don't think he was lying to me.  You should have seen Mindy.  Mork seemed legitimately distraught.”

"Sounds silly.”

"I don't make the rules, that's just the way it is.  I believe him.”

Carol didn't think she had anything to lose.  "I know.  I'll meet you at your newspaper.”  It was naive for Carol to think her predicament couldn't worsen.  Literally, anything could happen.

"OK, say two hours, I have to talk to the police.  Maybe they can narrow down our search for us.  There has to be a few who can sense him as we can,” Kolchak explained.

"OK.”

Chapter 18

Kolchak went to the 12th police precinct to talk to Inspector Luger.  He was the highest-ranking official at the police that Kolchak knew.  The precinct looked perfectly normal from Kolchak's perspective.  There were a bunch of desks with plain-clothes cops/detectives sitting behind them.  Each had a nameplate of who was sitting there.  The youngest detective was Sargeant Fish, there was also Officer Miller, Sargeant Yemana (who looked like he was ready for retirement soon), and officers Amanguele and Wajciehowitz.  A couple was taking reports from suspects and victims.  There had been many swaps evident, but since Kolchak didn't know these people he couldn't tell how it should have been.

Inspector Luger was in the inner office with Captain Harris.

“I got the Spiderman Talking Action Figure,” Inspector Lugar was telling Harris when Kolchak entered the office.  “It is like totally awesome.  It is like fourteen inches tall and can say lots and lots of things.  You can pose him any way you like and he won't fall down as other figures do.  I love playing with him.  He is like so much fun.”

"Inspector Lugar, I have to talk to you,” Kolchak interrupted the conversation.

Kolchak noticed right away that the inspector had been changed.  He knew the inspector before; Inspector Frank Luger was a serious cop and a man in his fifties.  He didn't seem that way anymore.  Inspector Lugar was sitting on the couch in the captain's office with his legs pulled up.  He was chewing bubblegum.  Every couple of minutes or so Inspector Luger would blow a bubble until it loudly popped.  Lugar acted more like a kid than a grown adult.  Still, Kolchak hoped he could get Lugar to help him.

There were other swaps that weren't as obvious to Kolchak.  Lugar had the penis of a seven-year-old and he thought that girls were yucky among other things.  Lugar carried a cap pistol, not a real gun.

"Inspector, you have to help us.  You have to keep your men on the lookout for the Role Swapper.  When you find it, tell me and I'll kill it.”

"Like, what the heck is a Role Swapper?”

"It's an alien entity that swaps traits between people.  It has to be stopped.”

"There is like no such thing.  I'm totes sure.”

"Captain, haven't you been getting reports of people with bizarre stories like a man who used to be a woman, old who used to be young, things like that?”

"Yeah, but people imagine things all the time.”

"Aren't there more of them now?”

"I haven't counted them.  Who knows?”

"Let me see the reports on those things.  Maybe there is a pattern that will help me find it and destroy it.”

"Even if I believed you, I can't do that.  Those are private police records.”

“Yeah, like private records and stuff,” Lugar agreed.

"Who can order that?”

"The police commissioner.  But don't bother him.  He won't believe you anymore than I do.”

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