Kolchak: The Role Swapper Chapters 13-14 (Patreon)

Chapter 13

Kolchak left the doctor's office.  He didn't know whether to buy a bra or leave it be.  Kolchak assumed that no one would think it strange that he wore a bra.  But Kolchak found it strange.  Of course, if it helped this itch, it might be worth it.

At the offices of INS, Kolchak sat in front of his typewriter deciding if he had enough to write.  He had just written a story on the topic.   But that story didn't include the information he received from his trip to the high school.  Did he have enough additional material to write another story?  Kolchak decided he had plenty.  He wrote a new story quickly.  It was transported by the office messenger to the editor.

“Kolchak!” bellowed the voice of the newspaper's editor, “What are you doing?  I thought you were finished with this story.”

Kolchak turned around; his editor wasn't the man he expected.  In fact, it wasn't a 'man' at all.  Not to say the editor was transformed into a woman, he was neither.
Kolchak's editor became a completely different entity than he had been.  The editor is now about three feet tall and covered in thick curly green hair.  He had a big round head, with large white eyes and a brown unibrow that traversed his entire forehead.  The editor was naked as being covered by thick green fur; he didn't need any clothes.

Oscar the Grouch, Kolchak's editor, continued to bellow.  “What is with all these stories about people changing into other people.”

“They aren't just changing into other people, it could be more subtle than that,” Kolchak tried to explain to Oscar.  Oscar had become an extreme example of what Kolchak was talking about.  But Oscar didn't know he had changed at all.

“I never saw anyone change.”

"It happens and we have to warn everyone.”

The argument went on for another minute or two.  But there wasn't any reason to continue it. Oscar would never believe Kolchak.  He couldn't see the change in himself.

“OK, I'll drop it,” Kolchak relented.

But Kolchak's assurance didn't last long.  He got another phone call.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Kolchak?”

“Yeah.”

“I'm calling about the Ydnimdocknum.”

“The Ydnimdocknum?”

“The Ydnimdocknum, it's what you were writing about.  You may know it by the Role Swapper.”

Kolchak hadn't given it a name, but the Role Swapper seemed to be a good enough name for whatever was doing what he had been seeing ever since his experience at WKRP.

“What about it?”

“I have to meet you.  I have a lot to say.  You have to destroy it!  I'll show you how.”

“OK, where should I meet you?”  Kolchak was eager to learn more about it and how to destroy it.  He also hoped that he could find a way to reverse the changes.

“Come to my house, 1619 Pine Street. “

“I'll come right now.  What's your name?”

“I'm Mork.”

“Mork?”

“Yeah, Mork from Ork.  Come quickly.  I'll be waiting.”

Before Kolchak could get on his way he got another phone call.  “I'm sorry,” Mork said, “I forgot I have to pick up Mindy.  Come in about an hour and a half.”

“I'll be there.”

Chapter 14

Kolchak had some time on his hands, he was going to stay at the office, but his chest was still itchy, he decided to use the time to take Dr. Marcus' advice.  he was going to buy a training bra or two, maybe a few.

Kolchak drove to a mall.  Then he headed towards a large department store.  Kolchak continued into the girls' underwear department.  He needed a training bra, not an 'adult' bra.  Something with soft material that wouldn't chafe against his sensitive skin but didn't have any real cups.

Kolchak found the department and started to look around.  From behind him, a masculine voice with a staccato rhythm asked, “Sir, can I help you?”

Kolchak turned around and saw two men in business suits.  The one speaking was in a dark gray business suit and the one behind him was in a brown business suit.  Both were wearing ties and black oxford-style shoes.

“Ummm,” Kolchak said.

“Sir, can I help you?  I'm the sales associate in this department, my name is Sales Associate Friday.  My trainee's name is Bill Gannon.”

“I need, I mean I am looking for...”

“What sir?”

“...I need a training bra?”

“For yourself or for your daughter.”

“I don't have any children.”

“I'm sorry sir.  What type of bra are you looking for?”

“A training bra.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“I don't know.”

“Do you want one with the clasp in the back or the front or none at all?  Do you want one that is lined?  Do you want one that is padded or unpadded?”

“I don't know.”

“Is this your first bra, Sir?”

“Yes, my first bra.”  Kolchak fell into Friday's staccato style.

“OK, we have a large selection for beginners like you.  Do you know your size?”

“My size?”

“Yes."

"I'm not sure.  I wear a size...”

“Let me measure you first.  That way, we'll get it right.  Please remove your jacket.”

“Remove my jacket?”

“Yes sir.  I have a tape measure.”

Kolchak removed his jacket.  Since there wasn't any place to hang it, Sales Associate Friday gave it to Trainee Gannon.

Friday looped the measure around Kolchak's chest and announced the size.

“Hmm, pretty big, that will limit our choices, but we still have quite a few to choose from.  Come with me.”

Kolchak followed behind and Gannon was behind them both.

“Do you have a color preference?”

“I guess not, white is fine.”

“Are you sure, there are some really nice printed ones.  Wait, sorry I'm getting ahead of myself sir.  Did you want it lined or unlined?”

“My chest is itchy.”

“Lined than.  Do you want it padded?”

“I don't think I need the padding.”

“Are you sure?  Lots of my customers like to start with a little padding before their breasts get more definition. The padding also sometimes helps with the irritation.”

“I'm not looking for any definition.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Which do you want, clasp in front, back, or no clasp.”

“Which is easiest to put on?”

“Front or no clasp.”

“I guess no clasp.”

“Color?”

“I told you white.”

“Are you sure?  We have some really nice ones in pink and gray you might like.  Or maybe something with a nice print on it.”

“I want white.”

“Fine sir.”

“Select from this group here,” Friday pointed out several bras.  We'll be over there if you need us.

Kolchak looked over the bras.  Friday moved away to talk to Ganon.  Friday went over the sales technique he just used on Kolchak.  Gannon listened carefully.  He still had a lot to learn.

Kolchak didn't know why the selection of a bra suddenly became important to him now that the bras were in front of him.  Kolchak resisted the urge to take his time and see which ones he really liked.  He just selected the first one which would fit that he came upon.  He could come back when he had more time.  He had to see Mork in just a few minutes.  He didn't know where the time went.

“Sales Associate Friday?” Kolchak called out.

“Yes, sir.”

“Is there a place where I can try this on and wear it out of the store?”

“Once you paid for it you can.  Before that, we don't allow our customers to wear underwear before purchasing.  Health reasons you know.  There aren't any returns on undergarments.”

“OK.”

Kolchak paid for the bras (he bought two, the one he liked and an extra if he didn't have time to get back later.)

“Where can I put it on?”

“Over there, sir.”  Friday pointed out a dressing room.

Kolchak took off his jacket, tie, shirt and undershirt and then put on the bra.  It didn't have any clasp, so he pulled it over his head just like a t-shirt.  He didn't know if he should wear his undershirt over the bra or not.  In the end, he did.  Then he put on his shirt, tie, and jacket.  He could feel the satiny material soothe his itchy chest immediately.

It was time to visit Mr. Mork from Ork.

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