Kolchak: The Role Swapper Chapters 8-10 (Patreon)

Chapter 8

Kolchak Voiceover:

I decided to do as Carol Brady suggested and assess the odd state of affairs at the high school.  It was an easy matter to call ahead and be granted access to the school.  I drove the short distance and parked a couple of blocks away.

Before going in, I scouted the location outside the school.  I could tell right away something was wrong.  A young man of approximately nine entered the school.  He was carrying a briefcase instead of a backpack or a book bag.  His blue and yellow plaid shirt was button-down.  He wore navy slacks with a belt and oxford shoes.  The kicker was that he was wearing a bowtie, even I don't wear a bowtie.  I found out later his name is Sheldon Cooper.”

Kolchak entered the school.  It was very much like a typical high school.  He didn't know where to start but checking in with the principal seemed a wise precaution.  The problem was he didn't know where to find the principal.  Kolchak decided to ask a couple of the teachers.  He walked up to a black man who had to be about thirty.  He must be a relatively new teacher.

“Hello,” Kolchak said.

“Hiya, I'm Vinnie Barbarino.  Who are you?”

“My name is Kolchak.  I'm a reporter.  Can you tell me where the principal's office is?”

“What???”

“Where is the principal's office?”

“Where?”

“That is what I'm trying to find out.  Where is the principal's office?”

“Who wants to know?”

“I'm Kolchak.  I'm a reporter.”

“Don't ask him, he doesn't know nothin'” Vinnie's friend said.

"But you do?  Who are you?”

“Hi there,” Vinnie's friend said, “I'm Freddie Boom-Boom Washington.”

“Yes, hi Freddie can you tell me?”

“Yeah, look what you do.  Now see here, where you go is.”

“Yes?”

“You go around that corner to the back stairs.  You walk to the second floor.”

“Second floor.”

“Now once you are on the second floor, you go straight until you hit a corner and you turn right.”

“Turn right on the corner.”

“You do down the hall and go up the stairs in the middle by the double doors.”

“Right.”

“Go to the third floor.”

“Yeah.”

“You walk down the hall and around the corner to the back stairs. You take them to the first floor?”

“Back to the first floor?

“Yes.  You come back this way and around the corner and you stop right before the double doors.”

“Those over there?”

“Yeah, it's on the other side of those doors.”

“Why shouldn't I just go that way now?”

“I always go the long way.  I find it better to do that when I go to the principal's office.”

“God, what do you teach? Geography?”

“Teach?  I'm a student.”

“What grade?”

“Freshman.”

“You're a freshman?”

“Yeah.”

The bell rang.

Vinnie and Freddie left Kolchak.  They had to go to homeroom with Mr. Kotter.

Chapter 9

Kolchak skipped the long directions and went straight to the principal's office.  Except for the principal, Mr. Belding who was wearing a light blue floral romper with a square neck and a matching bowtie hair click and dangling earrings, the rest of the staff looked perfectly normal. Although unbeknownst to Kolchak even though Principal Belding wore a clearly youthful and feminine attire on the outside, he still wore male briefs underneath.  This didn't matter when he wore something as loose-fitting as this romper, but it caused him some embarrassment when he wore it with a pretty form-fitting dress.  The 'brief' lines could be seen by everyone.

“Hello, I'm Carl Kolchak, I phoned.”

“Yes, Mr. Kolchak.  You're a reporter?”

“Right and I'm writing a story on typical high schools.  I was wondering if I can roam around and talk to some of the teachers and students?”

“Sure.”

“You are a typical high school, aren't you?”

“Yes?”

“Nothing strange is happening here?”

“Nothing unusual.  We aren't a perfect school, but we are a typical school.”

“There isn't anything I should be made aware of?”

“I don't think so.”

“I can talk to anybody and go anywhere?”

“Not the girl's locker room,” Principal Belding quipped.

“Yeah,” Kolchak answered with a wry smile.

Kolchak left the office.  On the way out, he saw one of the staff, a woman in her mid-forties picking at her ass openly as an uncouth teenage boy might.

Chapter 10

Voiceover: “I looked around the school and decided to talk to some of the students.  The first person who caught my eye looked like she was three years old.  She was wearing a plaid pinafore dress with a white top, white tights, and black Mary Janes.  It wouldn't surprise me if she was wearing training pants.  But there wasn't a way of telling.  I introduced myself to her.”

“Hello, I'm Carl Kolchak a reporter with the INS.  I'd like to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“About the school and your place in it.”

"I'm Willow, Willow Rosenberg.  What do you want to know?”

“You like it here?”

“I guess it's nice.”

“What do you think of your classes.”

“They are mostly easy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, people ask me to help them with the work.  I used to be the smartest one here.”

“Then what happens?"

“That Sheldon kid arrived.  He was in grammar school last year and they promoted him to the ninth grade.  He's some sort of genius.  But a little weird.”

“How so?”

“He wears collared shirts and bowties.”

Kolchak thought it was ironic coming from a girl in a pinafore.

“Anything else.”

“DON'T TALK TO HER,” a voice told Kolchak.  “She's a loser.”

“Who are you?”

“I'm Cordelia Chase.  I know everything that is going on here.”  Cordelia was a very pretty girl.  Her raven hair extended down to her diaphragm.  She was wearing a teal, knee-length wrap dress.  It had a V-neck that showed lots of cleavage and a belt that accentuated her narrow waist.  She wore it with gold hoop earrings and dark pumps.  She was very stylish.

“Loser, get out of here,” Cordelia demanded of Willow.  Willow scampered away.

“You know all that is going on?”

“Yes.”

“Anything strange?”

“Only that Zack Morris won't go out with me.   He has it for Screech.”

“What's a Screech?”

“He's a guy here, a real loser.  Not as much as Willow, but still.”

“Does he dress funny?”

“Yeah, sort of, he likes to wear these weird multicolored shirts.  A real fashion no-no.”

“Like a woman's shirt?”

“No, a woman would never wear anything like that.  Well, maybe willow, but not one with taste.  It doesn't matter Zack likes him.  He is always pining over Screech but won't look at me.  Look at me?  What does Screech have that I don't?”  Cordelia posed showing off her feminine loveliness.”

“I don't know I haven't met him.”

“But Zack likes him over me.  It doesn't make sense.”

“Is that all that is strange?”

“Isn't that enough?  I don't know what's got into Zack.”

The bell rang.  “I have to go; I need to stop in at the restroom first.”

“Sure.”

Cordelia click-clacked around the corner.  What Kolchak didn't see was that when she turned the corner and entered the restroom, Cordelia entered the men's room.  She stood in front of a urinal and lifted her dress.  She pulled down her panties and took a hold of her dick.  She peed feeling the relief immediately.  She was on the way to the restroom when she saw Kolchak.  She needed to go very badly.  When she was done, she pulled her panties up, let her dress drop to her knees, and then proceeded to her next class.

During the class change, many people passed Kolchak.  Some looked changed, most did not.  Kolchak didn't know it was Peter Brady (the former Carol Brady) who passed him in the hall.

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