Mean Girl Reincarnation Syndrome (Patreon)

"I did WHAT."

That was the cry of horror echoing through the house of the Barnes family.

"Ugh I think I'm gonna puke, I'm only hearing about it and I still want to vomit - a bucket, I need a bucket, or a toilet, whatever, anything!!"

A helpful redhead passed a nearby bin and the bedridden redhead, a miniature looking version of the one who'd just passed her the can, proceeded to upchuck the contents of her stomach into said bin, a very intense and laborious process that left her heaving and desperately gulping in air while at the same time trying not to swallow vomit, and also at the same time trying to get out a 'thank you' for the other other redhead, who was only a little bit bigger than her, who was holding her hair back as she puked.

It took a few moments, but she was passed a glass of cold water, which she drank greedily.

Rubbing her temples, Katarina Barnes tried to take stock of the absolute disaster she was in. This wasn't like the first time. The first time, she had woken up as an 8 years old who was, although a little bit bitchy, almost entirely innocent and hadn't done anything bad yet.

Not this time, though, and more significantly than that, she woke up with good and proper memories of what her body had been doing until her memories came back... and it wasn't good. It wasn't good at all. 

Just thinking about it made her want to puke again, but there was nothing for her to release anymore. She trembled and shook, as she was pushed back into a sitting position on her bed by the mother and sister of her new incarnated self.

"Uggh, this is the worst..." she moaned.

"Oh come on it's not THAT bad - you just bumped your head a little," spoke her sister, Anne - and damn did that name bring memories - giving her a friendly, but tenuous smile.

"No, not that- I," Katarina sighed. She remembered, then, the horrible little monster she had been. Was it just some sort of curse put on her, that she would only ever be reincarnated into the worst people imaginable, only to then recover her memory of a past life through head trauma, and realize how much of a monster she was being? It was like she had some sort of weird mean girl reincarnation syndrome, or something! "Am I bleeding? I feel like I'm bleeding," Katarina said.

"You, uh, you had a little cut it's fine," her mother, Zoe, Zoe Barnes, mature, a little bit plump, more rounded, softer features... a beautiful woman who hadn't quite let go of her youthful beauty just yet. For a moment she superimposed severe features and a strict, tight frown over her face, but no - she couldn't even imagine that. "I'm sure you can hide it with a little bit of work."

"Yeah, right, okay, I don't care about that, if it's not bleeding it's fine," Katarina said, sighing. At least her brain now could put two and two together and realize why  she'd always gone by her middle name rather than her first name... even though originally it was Catherine, her best friend had mangled it and Katarina had just clicked.

Oh.

Right.

Her best friend. In this life... she had a best friend. And she was just like A-chan! Always reading, always talking at length about what she liked, a regular chatterbox, who would always fill a day's boredom with a thousand stories as her brain worked a mile a minute and-

Oh.

Oh right.

She'd done... that. To her best friend. Whom she loved. Because-

She was heaving again, there was nothing to vomit out of her stomach, but she still tried...

It took much longer for her to calm, and it took much longer for her to realize what she had to do. There was no other alternative... once she had her ducks in a row, and as soon as possible... she squared her shoulders and got off the bed, and looked her mother in the eyes. Trembling, she did what she had to do. "Mom... I need you to take me to the hospital. I screwed up, really badly," she said, "and I need to start apologizing for it."

"Emma... Emma what did you do?" Zoe asked, softly. Unlike most others, Zoe had always referred to Katarina by her first name, as had her father, and she'd never resented them for it, though she'd always consider herself as Katarina even if they didn't let her get it legally changed.  "Whatever it is, we can fix it," she said, gently. "What happened sweetie?"

"No, you can't fix it mom. No one can," Katarina said, sofftly. "I put my best friend in the hospital, I did something beyond horrible to her, I nearly killed her..." she said.

Zoe blanched.

Anne looked confused.

It seemed like the mother knew what the matter was, and didn't need too long to put two and two together. Katarina could at least count on her mother being on her side, her father was a little bit more concerned with his image than his children sometimes... but it didn't matter. A long time ago she had come to realize that the only way to live was in a way that she could live with herself. 

"You don't mean... it was true then," Zoe said softly. "You did that. The locker."

"The locker- wait, that thing that came up in the news? There were people saying somebody set off a bioweapon in Winslow!" Anne said, her eyes wide. "That was you!?"

Katarina nodded. "Yeah. That was me. And- it's not just that," she said, clenching her fists. "I put Taylor inside that locker and... left her there for hours."

"What, what the fuck, what the actual fuck, you're sick, Ka- Emma," Anne hissed, "what the fuck-"

"-is wrong with you!?"

Taylor was... angry wasn't even close to the right word. Fury was too little. Nothing could come close to describing her icy cold wrath. Though she didn't scream, the force of her harsh words almost shook the hospital's walls.

"Too much," Katarina responded. "Can you..."

She stopped.

No, there was no reason to ask that question. She knew the answer. She was about to ask if Taylor could ever keep a secret. But she knew she could. Taylor would never talk to anyone about anything that Katarina asked her to keep quiet. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

It was still difficult to say. But there was no other way. She had to trust Taylor with everything, she had to put every card on the table, it was the only way to even start fixing things, especially considering just how absolutely awful she had been to the girl. Luckily, though... the memories she had of her life prior, though most of it other than the horrible things she did was a jumbled mess that was hard to process, told her that this wasn't so crazy and out of left field.

"Soooo you know how there's multiple parallel worlds right?" Katarina asked.

"What, are you going to tell me you're Emma from an alternate universe?" Taylor asked.

It hurt a bit, actually. Up until... the day of the locker, up until then, Taylor had continued to refer to her as Katarina. It felt like a knife between her ribs to be referred to by her first name, impersonal, cold, bitter.

"Not... exactly," Katarina explained. "I, I swear this is true, I'm not lying at all, I know how it sounds but, but I promise it's true," she said, "my word's not worth much for it but- I... I'm a reincarnated person from another world, and when I hit my head this morning, I recovered my memories from my past life and realized how horrible I was being to you."

There was a moment's pause. 

It was long. And it dragged. And it got longer. And dragged more. It seemed to never end until it was finally broken.

"Wat."

"It's true!" Katarina insisted. "I, I swear it's true!" she said. "This isn't even my first time, it's already my second! My first time I lived in another world's Japan, and then I... don't remember exactly how I died, but I did, and then I reincarnated into the world of an otome game - you know the kind right? we used to play them together! - and then I went there and I spent the last few decades there and then after that I reincarnated here only I didn't have any memories and it took forever for me to get them back and then when I got them back it was too late and now I can't stop thinking that if only I'd gotten my memories just a little bit earlier then none of this would've happened!"

Taylor looked at her flatly. "And you expect me to just... believe you. And to forgive you for everything you've done to me."

"No, Taylor, I don't expect you to forgive me, I don't expect anyone could forgive me after what I did..." she siad, shaking her head, then she took Taylor's hand. The beeping of the medical machinery around them set the backdrop as she cradled Taylor's hand and looked at the intravenous drip line that was even now dripping some sort of medicine into her. "I'm here to start trying to make things right," she said. "And the first thing I wanted to do was tell you that I'm going to go talk to the police and confess to everything that happened."

Taylor looked aside, eyes closed. She didn't take her hand away.

"Do you know how many times I dreamed of something like this?" she asked, softly. "How many times I dreamed that some day, you'd... wake up, and realize how much of a monster you'd been, and come and hug me, and then we'd be best friends all over again and pretend none of it ever happened?" she asked. "Do you understand how hard I wished for that..?"

Katarina shook her head. 

Taylor clenched her fist, so hard her knuckles turned white. 

"It's too late now," Katarina said. "I hate it," she said. "I... I'm sorry," she said. "I know it does nothing to undo all the pain that I caused you. I know it doesn't heal your injuries or, or restore all the things I broke," she said. "I know it won't just make things magically better. But I am sorry. I just... I just wanted to come here and offer you the first shot," she said. "Before I go to the police. They'll put me away, I know it. I'm going to go to the juvenile center," she said, "it's what I deserve... but I didn't want to go there before coming to see you first."

Taylor continued to look away.

"Thank you for listening to me. And... for whatever it's worth," she said, giving Taylor a smile of resignation, "you were the only true friend I had..."

Katarina stood up from beside the hospital, but as she began to walk away, she couldn't, her wrist was caught in a surprisingly strong grip, and she was pulled back. Taylor had pulled her back. The redhead looked into the brunette's eyes, and though they were covered with glasses, Taylor's eyes were big and filled with tears. "K-Katarina, Kat," she asked, her voice trembling. "It's, it's really you isn't it? This, this isn't some cruel prank, or a bad dream, is it..? You're... you're really back?"

"Yes, Taytay," Katarina responded, warmth filling her heart up as she heard Taylor use a nickname they hadn't used since they were very small children, damn near joined at the hip. "I'm back... sorry it took me so long to pull my head out of my butt," she said.

"I'm glad you're back," Taylor whispered, softly.

"I... how," Katarina said, her eyes filling with tears. "Tay, what I did to you, it was, unforgivable, I can't forgive myself, I shouldn't," she said, "just thinking about it makes me want to puke," she said. "It makes me want to knock my own teeth out," she said, shaking in barely restrained and contained anger, mostly at herself. "How... how can you just... say that, how can you just, accept me back, like that..? You should, you should be angry, you should want revenge, you should want to hurt me, like I hurt you..."

"Do you want me to hurt you?" Taylor asked.

"Maybe..?" Katarina couldn't really give a straight answer. "I don't want to hurt, but, but I deserve it, after what I did... I'll go away, I'll live in exile the rest of my life to atone, maybe join a convent and live the rest of my life like that-"

"You really are back," Taylor spoke, exhaling out of her mouth, "you silly goose," she said, eyes filled with tears, "I don't want you to hurt, I don't want you to disappear or go into exile, I want my friend back, I want my sister back, I want you back," she said, her voice trembling as she said it. 

"Don't go... I don't want to lose you again," Taylor whispered, softly, her voice cracking a little. "Why... why now... why after all this time..?" she asked.

"I don't know Tay," Katarina said, closing her eyes. "I hate it too... I... I messed everything up, I'm sorry," she said.

"Why..?" Taylor asked. "Why did you... why did you become like that? What happened to you... what happened to my Kat, when did you become Emma, that, that bitch..."

"Do you have time for a story?" Katarina asked.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," Taylor said, squeezing Katarina's hand. "You made sure I couldn't."

Katarina winced. "I deserved that," she said. "I... I think I can maybe probably make a stink and raise some hell and get Panacea to see you," she said.

"I'd like it if you would," Taylor said, softly. "Like old times..."

Katarina smiled. Indeed. This was how it should be. There was... so much she had to tell Taylor. So much she had to explain. So much she had to apologize for. So much she had to make up for, to make amends for. So much that needed to be solved, fixed, changed...

And as they talked, as Taylor and Katarina caught up like old friends that hadn't seen each other in decades, things seemed to... change, between them. The stiff, awkward stances relaxed, the distance closed, and soon enough, Katarina sat on bed beside her once closest friend, a sister in all but blood.

"I don't know how I could stand being friends with her, she keeps dissing my garden!!" Katarina spoke, incensed, huffing in anger at the thought of how much she had become a mindlessly devoted follower of a violent thug that couldn't even appreciate the glory of a vegetable garden! "Ugh past me is so stupid!!" 

Taylor laughed. For the first time in a very, very long time, she let go of all the tension and all of the despair and the cloud of misery that clung to her, and found herself finally opening up and feeling a little bit of happiness.

Just for that moment alone, she felt it, for the very first time... maybe this time, things would turn out okay.

Katarina squeezed her best friend, her sister, in a tight hug. There was... a lot that they would need to correct, fix and repair. Unbeknownst to them, the hands that were currently linked together, firmly grabbing onto each other, wouldn't let go for a long time yet.

The road ahead of them was one covered with thorns... but Katarina had put on her farmwork gloves, and brought her shears with her, and she was determined to prune every single one of those thorns so that Taylor could walk comfortably alongside her!

"I... I have a secret too," Taylor said, softly, before Katarina left. "Can you-"

Then, Taylor blinked, and smiled, and realized, she, too, trusted utterly and completely. 

A butterfly came through from one of the windows in Taylor's admittedly small room, and settled on her outstretched hand, on one of her fingers, opening and closing its wings. A simple, but effective, demonstration.

"Oh. Oh man," Katarina said, eyes wide. "That's gonna make dealing with pests in my fields soooo much easier! Marry me and help me run my farm!" 

Taylor laughed so hard she actually needed medical attention after that.