Hotel Chaldea Ep. Walk in The Park (Patreon)

The babies were fed, changed and had become exhausted after playing for quite a long time. As exhausted as you were, bone deep satisfaction coursed through you and a single look at the sleeping bundles of joy energized you. Mostly because looking at them reminded you that no matter what happened for the rest of the day - it could not get any worse than two screaming and crying babies who simultaneously wanted all of your attention at once.

You made sure the stroller was in the shade and that the babies were covered even further still, and that the noise dampening enchantment was fully working. The wonders of magic and technology coming together - sound could go out, so you could hear them if necessary, but they would not be bothered by the lively sounds of the children playing in the park, and would not be disturbed by any impact short of a bomb going off right beside the stroller.

Your children were tucked in, asleep and safer than safe.

"Woah... they're so tiny and cute!" 

Ah, right.

You hadn't come to the park alone.

You weren't entirely sure what country you even were in at this point, it was sometimes hard to tell... but it was warm, summery, with a breeze that prevented the heat from becoming overwhelming. The park was mostly a large grassy plain with groups of trees scattered around it, and a series of paths that crossed all over it.

It also had a specific play area for young kids, and that's where you found yourself at, setting the stroller near a park bench, while the children you had brought to the park alongside your daughters were having fun.

One of them, however, had come up to you and the babies. You turned to face her, and you knew her well. Illya, Illyasviel von Einzbern by name. She reminded you very much of her mother from another world, Irisviel. Same pure white hair, extremely pale skin and blood red eyes, the albinism was an inherent part of their makeup... you really didn't care much for the particulars on that. Irisviel was sexy, and her daughter was a very cute young girl, bright eyed and with a happy smile, enchanted as she watched your daughters sleep.

The girl wore a school uniform that looked vaguely Japanese, a sailor uniform you knew it to be called, complete with a cute hat.

"They're very cute indeed... at least when they're quiet," you said with a chuckle.

"Can I hold them?" Illya asked. "Er-" she looked at you. "Maybe later?" she asked. "Waking them up when they're sleeping so peacefully would be... bad."

"Very bad," you agreed. 

"Especially considering how much effort it took to put them to sleep in the first place," another voice interrupted, and your eyes tracked the voice behind Illya, as a girl in the same uniform as Illya. "Thank you for agreeing to bring us here."

It took a moment to put a name to the face. Short dark hair, dark eyes that almost seemed like they could see right through you, a slightly more subdued demeanor than Illya's... Miyu Edelfelt, you recalled. You didn't know much about her. But she was nice and polite and that was what mattered. "No problem. I was coming anyway, and figured you kids could use some fresh air. The classrooms of Chaldea can get suffocating, huh?"

These kids were servants. They'd never grow up, at least, not physically, but they could certainly experience growth nevertheless. Enriching said growth was paramount for them to develop properly... or so Ritsuka had said.

Honestly taking a bunch of kids to the park was just not a problem whatsoever. Especially if they were as well behaved as Miyu and Illya.

"Ah! Look, they're holding hands!"

Indeed, your daughters had found each other's hands, though they were more like... touching each other's hand than holding them. Still, you couldn't help the smile they gave you.

"How scandalous," for some reason the voice that came up made you think of foxes and annoyance. You turned to face the speaker, and saw another girl in Illya and Miyu's uniform. Right. Brown skin, pinkish golden eyes, pale pink hair, her hair done up in a messy bun and a smirk that looked like she was the cat that got the canary... 

The exact specifics of how she and Illya related were too complicated, so you just settled on her being Illya's sister. Everyone went along with that just well enough.

Chloe von Einzbern, or Kuro for short - apparently a combination of how her name was pronounced in their native Japanese and a reference to her skin tone.

Ritsuka had warned you about this one specifically... she was a bit of a precocious little brat, and tended to be the sort that actively provoked adults in ways she relaly shouldn't. 

She turned a salacious look at you. "Well, daddy, aren't you happy to see your daughters get along?" she asked.

"That feels weird, don't call me that," you said, there was just something about the way she said it, just didn't feel right.

"Why not, Daddy? Don't you like it when I call you daddy, Daddy?" Kuro said, licking her lips, cocking her hip and putting a hand on it, smirking in your general direction.

"Fueee, that sounds dirty," Illya said, recoiling.

Miyu crossed her arms and glared at her.

You sighed. This little girl...

"No, I don't, I really don't," you said. "Ah, right - I remember now," you said, and indeed, you remembered what Ritsuka had said to do in this situation. You pulled out your wallet and passed each of them a bit of money. "Right, you kids go get yourselves something tasty," you said. The local currency was weirdly colorful.

Kuro smirked in a weird way that just looked kinda goofy from where you were standing. "You girls up for some icecream? I want a cone really bad right now," she said. 

"YES! Let's!" Illya said.

"Alright can you get me a-" Kuro started, but Miyu grabbed her by the wrist and began pulling her away.

"No, you're coming with us," Miyu said, walking off, quickly followed by Illya.

"We'll be back, d a d d y♥!" she said, winking at you as she was dragged away, cackling.

I made a mental note of that. Ritsuka did also say to report weird behavior, said something about Kuro needing constant correction to stay on the straight and narrow. Well, I'm sure Ritsuka is getting plenty of experience and advice in parenting that will no doubt be very useful in the future.

As I was thinking about that, a soccer ball, or football ball depending on where we were in the world, bounced close to me, then rolled to a stop near my foot.

"Oiiii! Mister! Can you kick the ball back?" 

That was one of the other kids I'd come here with. The one calling and waving to me was Alex... or rather, Alexander of Macedonia, also known as Alexander the Great. When he was about 11 years old, at any rate. He was such a legendary figure that even at this youthful age he was still worthy of being called a hero... I guess.

Right now, though, he was just a kid playing. We'd made sure to exchange his usual leather half armor half clothes wear for a more standard look, with blue shorts and a white shirt with a logo from a videogame at the front. His long red hair swung behind him as he jumped in place, waiting for me to kick the ball back. He was said  to hold incomparable charisma as an adult, and I can almost see it even in his childish form, his voice carries and commands the room and he has something of a strangely heavy presence.

"Alright," I called back, first moving to the ball then pushing it into motion, so I could get a few steps of runup before kicking it with strength, and not so much accuracy, towards him.

It sailed past him, by a couple meters up and to the right, but it was caught by the boy behind him. A red eyed blond in desert camo print shorts and a purple shirt. If Alexander was a commanding presence, this boy was a dazzling one, it was like what I imagine Richie Rich would look like in real life. 

Both of those boys are fairly cute, and part of me is terrified of what their boyish charms would do to my growing daughters, but that stupid thought fizzles as the blond jumps in the air and catches my shot with his chest, bouncing it and then stopping it with his foot. 

"Thanks, mister!" Alex called, waving back at me. "Don't you wanna come play with us? It'll be more fun than just sitting back there!"

I chuckled. "Nah, you boys have fun, I can't match your energy anyway!" I called. "I have to stay close by in case something happens to the babies!"

The blond sent a thumbs up and a nod of respect. There was also something unsettling about him, though it wasn't the same way Kuro was unsettling. Kuro seemed to think she was a couple years older than she actually was, but that boy felt like he was too mature for his own age. The way a child that's been forced to grow up early by circumstances is.

I don't really speak much with Gilgamesh, any of the three of them, but I guess it can't be understated how much of a presence they have, no matter how young or old. Spooky.

I tried not to let my thoughts show as the redheaded little conqueror went running back to the pitch with the future King of Heroes.

I smiled and sat. I'd brought a tablet with me, loaded with stuff to do. I didn't quite feel like a videogame, especially not one that would take up lots of my attention and leave me distracted. I wanted to relax on the bench though, so I fired up the library program that connected me to Chaldea's database, and then I began to leaf through the first random recommendation it sent at me.

Though I wasn't doing that for long, because I felt a presence as soon as I got to the second paragraph of the first page. Or rather, three presences... three small bodies gathered behind me, peeking over my shoulders to see what I was reading. Luckily, it wasn't anything strange or weird at all, as I had the all ages filter on. "What's that?" one of them asked.

I knew this one, of course. Nursery Rhyme... perhaps the least... human, so to speak, among all those present. She had taken the form of a doll in the shape of a young girl, inspired by Alice in Wonderland or something like that. There was a niggling memory in the back of my mind, something that bothered me, something about a nameless forest or- no, I dismissed that thought. Nothing important, I'm sure.

"This is... called Henry Baker and the Stone of Sorcery," you said, reading the title of the book off of the tablet.

"Oh! That sounds very interesting!" 

Nursery Rhyme was the first to make her way around the park bench, in her customary black gothic lolita style dress, one that did a good job of concealing the joints that gave away the nature of her body.

Behind her was a girl in a green double breasted peacoat, blonde and with golden eyes, she looked quite curious as well, and behind the blonde was a third girl, this one with white hair, green eyes and a scarred face, in a long white sleeveless dress.

It took a few moments to put names to these faces as well, but not too long. The blonde was Paul, Paul Bunyan, apparently a personification and crystalization of the legends, rather than having been a real person, which in some ways explained how she had come to be the way she was.

The other behind her was Jack the Ripper, or rather, an entity who responded to that identity. Again, very complicated explanation behind who and what she was, what was important was that she answered to the name Jack.

Right, this trio was also somewhat dangerous. None of them was human, at least, not in a simple and straightforward way. Their thought processes were alien to most human minds and despite their looks and usual demeanor, they could be as childish and dim witted as they could be frighteningly clever and disturbingly mature... A trio more dangerous than the Bermuda Triangle.

Ritsuka had protested the description, but Koyanskaya had been very firm in the briefing about them specifically.

For you though?

They were just kids curious about what you were reading.

"Is it interesting?" Paul asked, tilting her head in confusion. "The book," she clarified.

"So far," you said, "it is," you added. "Would you like to read it with me?" you asked.

"Mhm! We can play along with the story!" Nursery Rhyme, Rhyme for short, said, doing a twirl, arms spread to each side, "I'll take care of-"

"Ah! Ritsuka's orders, no noble phantasms allowed outside of Chaldea!" you said, raising a finger as a warning sign.

"Mhm! We can still play act the story though!" Nursery Rhyme said with a giggle. 

"Mommy's orders?" Jack asked. "But what if someone attacks..." she asked.

"In cases of emergency the ban is lifted," you said, repeating the exact terms Koyanskaya gave you before you left.

"We understand!" Jack said, nodding and smiling brightly. "Mommy's husband is very smart!"

Right. Jack was... strange like that. 

"Wait!" Rhyme said. "If he's your mommy's husband, doesn't that make him your daddy?"

"Daddy?" Jack asked. "I... think? That would mean we have both a mommy, and a daddy!"

"Technically two mommies, since Ritsuka is married to Mashu!" Paul pointed out, stroking her chin and nodding.

"Ah! We're super happy, daddy!" Jack said.

You chuckled a little weakly. "Well- I guess you would be something like a step child?" you said, trying not to upset her by denying it outright. Ritsuka kind of treated Jack like a daughter anyway so it... kinda sorta made some degree of sense?

"Oi!" an upset voice shouted. "How come she gets to call you daddy, but I don't, Daddy~♥" Kuro asked. "I want to be your cute spoiled daughter too!"

"Kurooo!" Illya cried out, walking at a brisk pace towards the group. "Stop bothering the nice uncle!" 

"Everybody look out!" the voice of Alexander came from far away.

"Illya! Look out!" Miyu shouted, pulling Illya away from the path of the ball.

Unfortunately, this meant it'd hit Jack and Nursery Rhyme, who were in its direct path. Acting quickly, you grabbed both of them and pulled them back while at the same time putting yourself where they were, effectively turning your back to the ball, which hit you like a goddamn meteor, causing you to stumble, falling on top of the girls who giggled as they hit the grass.

"Oh! I want some physical affection too!" Kuro said.

"Miyu, help me get her!" Illya cried.

"Yes!" Miyu responded quickly, and luckily they caught Kuro as she tried to turn the fall into a cuddle pile.

Paul was quick to help me up, as well, and Gilgamesh came running with a surprisingly apologetic look on his face. "That was my bad, sorry," he said, sounding and looking genuinely contrite.

You dismissed it with a wave. "It's fine, nobody got hurt, just be more careful about those kicks alright?" you said.

"Will do!" Gilgamesh called. "We'll play free kicks on the other side of the pitch! Come on Alex, let's go!"

You sighed.

Kids.

How exhausting.

"Aaaaanyway! What are you guys doing?"

Ah, right. That. Well... luckily, the book turned out to be rather interesting and fun, and the kids rapidly got into it, which made most of the rest of the day go fairly fast. Reading the book in a group, passing it along so the characters could be played by the kids... it was fun.

At the end of the day, as it was time to go home, Kuro was dragged into the car by Illya and Miyu, while Rhyme and Jack went to fetch the boys, and Paul helped you get everything packed away. 

Your babies woke up as the sun started to set, which delayed things a bit, but after feeding and playing with them, with the kids' help to keep the babies entertained as the chores got done, it was time to go back home, to report a total success.

That was a fun, relaxing day.