Hotel Chaldea Ep. Astolfo & Bradamante (Patreon)

Truth be told, visiting a maid café was not something that was in your bucket list... but it is something you absolutely didn't mind doing, especially when you had a mostly productive, if a bit strange, conversation with two very special women.

"Ah! Master is gone then?" 

The maid that served your tea was a bubbly, pink haired sort. Beautiful, incredibly so really, wearing a classic, black and white french maid costume, complete with headband, enchanting purple eyes darting to and from, taking stock of everything around you. 

"Yeah, she said she had some work to do. Something about embers - you know how she gets when she puts her nose to the grinds tone," you said, shrugging your shoulders. "So it'll be just me I guess."

The maid gave you a smirk, and for a moment you thought it was more of a predatorial, fanged smile. "Oh hoho, I think I understand... well don't you worry, Master Customer! Even if you're the only person here now, we'll still serve you to the best of our ability!"

You chuckled, as the costumed waitstaff all responded with cheers. It was near closing time, after lunch, and most of the customers had already left. The cafe would close to prepare for dinner, when it would become a different kind of maid cafe, one that was usually rented for big parties by extremely rich people... You had never been to one, but you'd heard they could get pretty wild.

As you drank your surprisingly tasty tea, you watched the maids, with eclectic but beautiful looks and styles, work to turn the café almost upside down, leaving most of it sparkling, and as you finished your biscuits, you put the cup down, and the pink haired maid beside you grinned.

"Was the tea to your liking, Master Customer?"

So cute, it was almost a crime. Unbelievable, really.

"Yes," you said. "Good tea, beautiful company, what else could make it better?"

"How about a blowjob?" the maid asked, winking.

You almost choked. "W-wait, what? I didn't hear what I just think I heard, did I?"

The pink haired maid smirked, a gloved hand moving back and forth in the air, lips pursed, tongue wetting them. "I mean a blowjob, a suck, me going down on you..."

You were at a crossroads right then. Normally, you would not really say no to a blowjob... 

"I'm not sure, I've never had my dick sucked by a man before," you admitted. 

Astolfo grinned. "I've received high praise!" he said, licking his lips.

It was criminal, that such an incredibly cute and feminine person could be a man, but... well, Astolfo hadn't hidden it at all. And admittedly, he was right, the maid dress suited him perfectly.

Turning so your legs faced the maid, you smiled. "... you know what, fine, a mouth's a mouth right?"

"Of course!" Astolfo said, striking a cute pose, then dropping to his knees quickly, licking his lips as he began to undo your pants.

"Wait, here?!" you asked.

"Yeah! Everyone else is done for the day, we'll have the place free!" Astolfo said, giving you a thumbs up and a wink. "I'm... totally sure!" he said, in a way that suggested he was not sure of that at all, but by that point, your dick was out, and your pants were flying off, and then the pink haired male maid was licking your balls, and then his soft, wet tongue was trailing a path up your shaft, and you were hard as a rock in a single instant.

You gripped the table hard, screwing up your face, as you suddenly faced a dangerously good blowjob. "F-Fuck, is it because you're a man, that you know all my weak spots!? I've never had a blowjob like this..!" you protested, your legs going stiff, the sound of Astolfo slurping and gagging on your cock, deliberate, making the blowjob even naughtier and sloppier-

"Yo! We're done with the fridge, can you come help us move the tables, A-"

Both you and Astolfo turned to face the intruder, who came in from the back of the house, into the café proper, and then stopped mid word, her jaw dropping as she saw what you were doing.

She was blonde, with a generous chest, a white apron with red bands and gold accents, a fancy style that sort of fit her, she looked more like a princess than she did a maid in some ways... or maybe a lady knight. It was hard to say, possibly both.

You winced, and moaned, Astolfo hadn't stopped at all, even as you were presented with yet more eyecandy, right up until his lips popped as he pulled off your cock, licking his lips as if he found its taste delicious. "Yooo! Brad, come here, this cock is great!" he called, waving at her.

"B-B-b-Bwaaah, what the hell are you doing!" 

It wasn't really a question, it was more of an admonishment, as she stormed towards both of you, though when she took a swing as if to smack Astolfo, she missed, the pink haired maid moving with quickness and dexterity, causing the blonde maid to overextend.

"Yosh!" Astolfo called, a quick, but very skilled, dash had him trip the blonde, causing her to fall, seated on your lap, your cock between her legs, her back pressed against your chest. 

"AAAAAH! What are you doiiiing!?" she cried, as your cock, stiff as a rock, created a tent in her short maid dress. You had barely gotten a look at it before, at the peachy, barely covered globes of her ass, but holy fuck, now that it was pressed against you, it was impossible to miss just how perfect it was, geometrically, physically, it was perfect.

If there was a mathematically perfect ass, you would be sure this one would be right up there, with the exact correct proportion of softness to firmness, shape and size.

"Wow, I didn't even expect that!" Astolfo said, laughing. "Aaanyway, alley-oop~!" the pink haired maid stuck his hands under his coworker's skirt, and in but a moment, they came back out from under the skirt holding onto her panties. Absolutely incredible agility and speed. "Wow! What a small thong! As expected from Bradamante!"

The blonde maid turned bright red. "That is - they're easier to move in, p-plus Lord Merlin- Lord Merlin came to me in a dream and said it'd be important to wear them today!"

"Wow! An assist from the evil dickwizard! You shouldn't waste this opportunity, Master Customer!" Astolfo said, "I'll assist from here!"

"B-B-But, but- but-" Bradamante shook her head. "I'm- I'm married!"

"It's only until death, and more importantly, butt stuff doesn't count!" Astolfo reasoned. "Right Master Customer?"

You blinked. "Ahh..." fuck, what was even going on anymore? Astolfo's masterful blowjob had made you a bit light headed... and now... your cock throbbed under the almost liquid heat pouring down onto you, no, fuck that, it really was liquid head, she was fucking soaked, and dripping onto your cock.

Wow, that woman must've been SERIOUSLY horny!

Astolfo hiked up her skirt, and you could almost physically see a cloud of steam from how hot she was, floating into the air. It was unbelievable.

"I... guess?" you agreed.

"Yaaay!" Astolfo confirmed. "See? Your butt is fine, it's totally fine!" Astolfo said, grinning as his slim, soft hands gripped your cock and balls, and though it was a bit uncomfortable at first as he bent you in ways your stiff cock protested... as soon as he pressed you into her entrance, such worries faded, and the moment you pierced past her tightly puckered butthole, and were engulfed in the ridiculously hot pressure of her ass...

Nothing else mattered.

Astolfo's tongue worked the parts of your shaft that didn't go in, and your balls, trailing up from the balls and directly over Bradamante's perinneum and then her vagina, as the pink haired maid gave his blonde coworker as much pleasure as he had given you.

Meanwhile, you were paralyzed by pleasure, as her ass seemed to be convulsing, no, it was repeated, effective movements, it almost felt like her very ass was stroking you, constricting and relaxing at intervals... "Fuck, this ass is way too sexy..!"

"Aaah, noooo! I'm turning stupid, I'm turning stupid while I'm getting fucked in the asssss...!"

Astolfo laughed openly, eating her out and massaging your balls, as you slowly, almost painfully, worked your cock so it moved, just slightly within her, back and forth, back and forth, rocking just enough that it enhanced the intense stimulation provided by her ass... until finally, you were starting to reach your limit. Post blowjob, your cock was nearly finished already, and when she added this intense, lewd heat...

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna pour my semen inside you!"

Astolfo grinned. "Isn't it amazing? Cheating sex is amazing, isn't it?!" 

Bradamante whined. "Noo, I'm cumming, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum from another man's semen! I'm sorrryyyy! My beloved, I'm sorryyy, he's much better than youuuu~!"

"Fuck, fucking~ ahhh, shit, cumming!" you shouted, as Astolfo came back down and gave a long, sensuous lick from your anus to your balls, finishing you off by popping your balls into his mouth and sucking hard.

It felt like the relieving of a great pressure, stars exploded at the corners of your vision and you shuddered in place as your body resisted only one more moment... and then your semen filled up your partner, and she hissed, cried, and then almost slumped against your back.

Both you and her were panting, as she relaxed against you.

Astolfo giggled, standing up and striking another pose, hips cocked, peace sign up in the air. "Absolute victory~" he said, then he realized... "Oh... you're still hard! But, well, butt stuff is okay but I have to support my buddies, I'm taking one for the team!"

Astolfo grabbed Bradamante by the armpits, and then roughly pulled her off of you, seating her on the seat that had once been occupied by the Master of Chaldea.

The pink haired maid hiked up his own dress, turned his back to you and showed you his own perfectly formed ass, the very definition of a "cute boy butt", somehow retaining feminine qualities yet at the same time with its own, unique charm, the shape of the hips being the biggest difference.

You gulped.

Could you do that?

Astolfo pulled down his black and white maid themed panties, and revealed his own asshole to you, leaving the panties on so they cupped his balls. His hand reached down and began to stroke his cock. "Hurry~ I wanna cum so hard I lose my mind just like Bradamante over there~!"

Fuck yes you could, that was one fine ass.

Who cares if it was a man's ass? It was a cute ass, and that was all that mattered!

You grabbed onto Astolfo's hip with one hand and took yourself in hand with the other, then shoved yourself in down to the hilt, already super wet and ready. 

Astolfo moaned erotically, but you didn't stop, immediately taking the offensive and returning every single bit of pleasure he had given you, and then taking even more pleasure from his ass as payment in return! You fucked him hard, fast and powerfully, not letting him have reprieve, even shoving a pair of fingers into his mouth and playing with his tongue, as he started to babble incoherently.

"Fuck, this body..! This body is sexier than a woman's!" you cried, "you erotic maid, this is what you get for teasing your Master!"

"Geeheee, yyeeeesh fucsh mie hahdahhh~!" Astolfo babbled as you played with his tongue. 

In fact... you felt mischievous, and saw that Bradamante still hadn't recovered, and more importantly, the way Astolfo sat her had her anus in full view... and accessible... and so you moved, bringing Astolfo along with you, never stopping your pumping and playing so he couldn't tell, and then when he was distracted, you shoved his face right between Bradamante's cheeks, forcing the pink haired maid to clean up the mess he'd made you make inside Bradamante!

"How's that, how's my semen, you were so desperate to drink it before, tastes good, huh!?"

"Dewishoush~!" 

"You! Fucking! Little! Slut!" you cried, punctuating each word with a hard trust that resulted in a cracking slap resounding across the café, each one bringing you closer to completion...

By chance you glanced down, and realized that with each thrust of your hips, as your cock bottomed out inside Astolfo's perfect anal passage, his cock spurted its own juices, runny white semen spraying from its tip, staining the ground.

"And you're easy too!" you laughed, "you quickshot pervert maid! Well here it is, your prize for being such a slutty maid! Take it, don't even spill a single drop of my semen!"

Astolfo gurgled something unintelligible as you grabbed his ass and hips firmly and hilted yourself, the pleasure almost seeming to all come together at once, as you unleashed the fury of your orgasm entirely upon the slutty quickshot maid, your own orgasm followed by the tightening of his anus, as he let loose a deluge of semen that shot into the ground, leaving a pool of white stuff under the two of you.

The three of you, tired and weary, panted as soon as the moment was over...

And then someone cleared their throat.

A maid with a mop and a bucket, and an angry expression on her face... she was dressed in a maid themed bikini, and she was familiar to you. Miss Alter, you thought you remembered. 

Both of the fucked stupid maids stood ramrod straight. "W-We can explain!" Astolfo said.

"Don't bother, clean up and finish up," the maid said, then she looked at you, grabbed your hand, and took you into the back of the house.

Fortunately for your weary cock, no further sexytimes occurred, instead she just took you to a place where you could shower while she took care of your clothes. It took her only minutes to clean and dry your clothes to the point not a hint of the smell of sex or sweat remained.

"You're amazing," you admitted, as you clothed yourself.

"Of course I am, I am a high level gothic lolita maid," she said, nodding, a small smirk on her face.

And humble, too. Well, she was right to be proud. You thanked her for the work, and left. As you did, you caught wind of the punishment that the two ero maids were getting, and you heard the loud cracks and their cries from quite a distance away...

"Ow! My butt! It's sensitive!"

Well then, that would be their business to deal with. As for you... well, you had a job to do. As you approached your office, you were intercepted by Mana, who brought up a document that was urgent, and you two headed into your office as she got you caught up to speed.