No Consequences Hentai Logic World 9 (Patreon)

While your job was fully, completely, totally and unambiguously legal... it wasn't a profession that most wanted to advertise nor was it something that got you many male friends. Not that you cared in the long run, since you couldn't be assed to remember their faces most of the time, let alone their names.

That said, there was some degree of risk inherent in engaging in a job that upset people. In particular... well, some women weren't open and honest about their marital status. You had a somewhat strict no married women policy - memories of Miss Takeda talking to you about how her relationship with her boyfriend was getting serious and how you came close to ruining it out of greed helped ensure you kept to it.

But you were popular, in the service, and you always had a backlog, and some people were willing to cheat and deceive you in order to get a taste of what the 'top provider' could do.

"Are you sure it's gonna be okay?" Rina asked, as she tied her shoes. She'd be late today, and so would you, so you'd take her to dinner later with the money you'd get from your job, instead of either of you cooking. Were you a more paranoid man, you might suspect someone could be taking advantage of her.

Her coach was fat, ugly and sometimes smelled more of body odor than anything else, and at first you'd almost suspected something would happen.

But you then remembered men in this world had almost no sexual drive, and that despite everything else, he was actually competent and knowledgeable. Conversations with the man revealed he was a former olympian who'd had a rather nasty battle with a kidney disease. 

Really good conversationalist and had even taught you a lot of how you could support and help Rina with her career, including the sort of foods you should prepare more often for her.

It almost made you feel guilty for ever suspecting him.

"Yeah I'm sure," you said, giving her a smile as she adjusted the fit and stretched. You'd drive  her there, but she claimed the warm up was nice, and it was only three streets to the community pool, even if you were going in the same direction. "Are you jealous?"

She looked at you funny. "Jealous? Of someone else who has to put up with you for an afternoon?"

"You do remember I'm gonna be having sex, almost guaranteed, with this woman right?" you asked, showing her an image of the woman.

"So what?" she asked, clearly confused. "I mean at the end of the day you're coming back to sleep on my bed, right?"

"I guess you're right," you agreed. Even if you had to admit to yourself that you could never understand how she could manage to never be upset or jealous, it was damned convenient. As far as you knew, it wasn't even a thing that happened in the world, it was just her. Even Hana admitted she sometimes got jealous when you and Rina were feeling lovey dovey.

"Anyway," you said, waving your hand, "don't keep Takurou waiting."

She nodded with a smile, and then left.

With that done, you went and put the finishing touches on your own appearance. Only the lightest hints of make up to cover up the fact that you weren't getting quite enough sleep lately, ensuring your hair was clean and well groomed, and a final pass with a razor to ensure any stray hair was gone.

And then you departed, to a bar that was a rather common meeting place, downtown.

You parked your car in a nearby hotel's underground parking - it was actually cheaper for you to work out a deal with the hotel in the long run, given how frequently you used it - and then walked the rest of the way.

Once there, you sat at the bar, and waited for a woman to sit next to you. That was just how it was - you'd tell them what you'd show up wearing, as well as a name to refer to you by and-

"A-A-Are you- wait, I know you, you're- you're-"

Your eyes widened. That was not a woman. It was one of the mobs. Your mind sort of put two and two together, this person was your age and had recognized you, and you could somewhat connect the plain appearance to your old classmates, and superimpose the uniform.

"Unless you have a very good reason to be here," you mused, "you might want to not be."

"ah, I- er- I'm, I'm Kazuki, f-from school, don't you remember me?" he asked.

You honestly didn't. Maybe your brain sort of remembered he was A student at school, but you could hardly be expected to remember that considering you were already forgetting his face as he spoke. "Yeah, sure, whatever... I'm sort of expecting someone so-"

"I-I-I know!" the mob said, shaking a little. You looked him up and down. A generic salary man, in a cheap black suit, holding a suitcase. "Just, just listen to me, alright?"

"I don't do men," you said, almost coldly.

"I- I'm not here for that, dammit!" he said. 

"If you're trying to set me up to get beaten up..." something which was rumored to happen if you happened to go after a married woman, sometimes a spouse was seen as a status symbol, among the rich and powerful, male or female.

"No, no way, I'd, I'd never do that! We- we were friends, alright? I know you sort of stopped paying attention to anybody else when you started dating Rina, but, but-"

You were friends? Acquaintances maybe. It didn't matter.

"Look, I just- I just need help, alright?" he finally said, slumping as he sat on the bar next to you.

You raised an eyebrow. "Help?" you asked. "Help how? I'm not exactly a PI here."

"My girlfriend," he began. "She's, she's- I think she's cheating on me."

"I fail to see how I can help with that," you said, shrugging.

"Well, I, uh, I thought if I- if I talked to one of you guys, you know," he said, waving his hand, as if indicating at your profession somehow, "you could give me pointers or something on how to, how to... satisfy her, so she doesn't cheat on me anymore."

"You could just break up with her you know," you said, idly. "If she's disloyal it doesn't really matter the reasons why..."

"No no," he said, shaking his head rapidly. "Never, I love her! I love my Shiina!" 

You rolled your eyes. If he really did love her then he shouldn't have this much trouble just... asking her how she wants to be bedded and bedding her that way. "It's not like I can just magically make you better at sex you know."

Besides, you'd tried to help people before, and they didn't seem to care. At least this Kazuki guy - oh hey you'd remembered his name! - seemed to have a reason to want to actually learn.

"I know... I know, I'll- I'll have to practice, maybe, maybe I can even become one of- one of you escorts," he finally managed to vomit out the word, like he'd just said something horrible. "I-"

You sighed. "Idiot. Your first mistake, is that you see sex as a chore and hard work that needs to be put in. This isn't a transaction, this isn't some sort of- exchange of goods or services, that you can just put the right numbers into, and not care about."

He- took out a notebook and started writing down what you said.

...

"I'll charge you the standard rate for my time I charge all the women I'm with," you said, finally, rubbing the bridge of your nose in exhasperation. "And if at any point anyone expresses discomfort, you are to leave immediately and not protest or argue back whatsoever, alright?"

"W-What do you mean?"

You sighed. "You're going to be shadowing me until you learn how to pleasure women."

"Ah, thank you, thank you so much, teach!"

You rolled your eyes. "First lesson - how to listen. Open up those ears..."

Truth be told, you, too, had absolutely no idea how to really talk to women... But listening? You could do that, at least. And most humans want companionship, and want someone to listen to them and make the appropriate noises to assure them that you are indeed listening.

Most people just wanted to be able to vent. Your inability to provide answers or solutions to most problems people opened up to you about was irrelevant, they didn't want solutions, they just wanted to relax.

"And that's more or less the most basic aspect," you said, "of being a succesful partner. Listening," you continued, gesturing at your ear. "Almost everything you need to know about your partner, she will tell you. Or he. I don't judge."

Your 'student', so to speak, was already taking down notes.

"Can I see you in action?" he asked. 

Well... you weren't exactly opposed to the idea of performing for an audience. Even if you'd never really... actually, you'd never really recorded yourself having sex with Rina. You'd pretended to do it once, just for giggles and to see how she'd react - protested and said no but never actually stopped you from filming or even tried to, and seemed almost giddy about posting it until you revealed you hadn't actually recorded anything.

"I don't- I don't really have a sex tape," you mused, rubbing your chin.

"Uh... would, would it be possible to do it live?"

Would it?

"Let me think about it, and get back to you," you said. "Look, the sex itself - it's different with each woman, you can't just learn how to fuck from just watching someone else do it. You need to learn by doing!"

"B-But," he whined, "it's just so- well, it's just boring," he finally admitted. "Even when I'm trying, it's not like I can magically make my penis stay erect..."

Meanwhile, when you were in the mood, you had trouble making it go down. What a world, huh. Sometimes you even had unwelcome erections, to boot. Wonder what a life without those would be like.

"You love her, don't you?" you challenged.

He nodded. "With everything I've got!"

"Then you have to teach your body, to love her body!"

That... was pulled right out of your ass. "ooh, is that how you do it?"

"Sort of," you admitted. "Look, just-"

"Uhm... also," he took a deep breath. "I want to show Shiina that I care about her, even if I'm not ready to satisfy her," he said. "That's... that's why I wanted to ask if you could-"

"Are you about to ask what I think you're about to ask?" you asked.

"Uhh... would you have sex with my girlfriend?"

"Wasn't this started because you want your girlfriend to stop having sex with other men?" you asked, confused.

"What? No, I don't mind if she does. I just don't like it that she thinks she has to do it behind my back," he finally said.

Baffling. Just baffling. 

"I'd be way more comfortable if I knew she was doing it with someone safe, who doesn't have any sort of disease or problem, and who can pleasure her fully and completely without gouging her for everything she's worth! And you're a really stand up guy who's even gonna teach me, so I fully trust you to do the right thing!"

You hit your forehead against the bar.

"Is that a no?"

You thought about it for a moment.

You really, really thought hard about it.

He was already calling his girlfriend to tell her the news. 

Rina almost made a scene at the restaurant, she laughed so hard when you told her about your confusing and annoying day. Not that she was complaining that you were full of energy that night.