I would not buy my plums. (Patreon)

I would not buy my plums if I saw them in the grocery store.

They are gross!! They’ve got funky bits and bug bites!! But I cut off that stuff and halve them and then they’re… this.

Just these perfect, delicious wet jewels that slice apart between my teeth and fill up my mouth with sweet and tart.

The tricky part was timing when to pick them. I definitely ate a good number tartly underripe plums the last couple weeks. But then there would be super gross plums falling to the ground (the kind a knife cannot help) so I’d be tricked into picking a fresh one because surely now, NOW, they must be ready and… nope.

Now we’re at the stage where they’re ripe enough, especially the least attractive ones. So I’ve been collecting and cutting them open and only getting a bite of underripe every so often.

Obviously I could make some “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” conclusion but uhg, please. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t buy my plums if I saw them for sale but I’m more than happy to give them a chance when they’re just going to fall down and rot on my lawn.