Feeding Tube in Leo Comic (Patreon)

I meant to make this post back when the Leo comic first went up but, y'know, obviously I never did ;) GIMME A BREAK, I'M AN ARTIST, WE'RE FLAKY.

Anyway! I got a handful of questions from folks at the time asking about the thingie that the Leo Masturbateer was sporting on their torso.

It is a feeding tube!

Specifically a Percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy (PEG) tube. Here is a helpful diagram of how a G/G-J tube works.

Honestly? Depicting medical devices and mobility aids makes me nervous! Because I have no experience with them and I'm afraid I'll draw them wrong or being used improperly or I'll draw the person doing something that is literally impossible to do with that device and people will get mad at me for my ignorance and yell at me for not doing a better job of researching.

And then on top of that, I pretty regularly get feedback that I look like I'm pandering for Ally Points or whatever you want to call it. That I include these things as a way of performing being progressive just so I can get back pats and accolades for being sooooo "open-minded" and "inclusive".  And I worry to myself, "What if that's true? IS that why I do this? Am I a shallow, selfish person doing this for the 'likes'?"

Because I live inside my own head, I don't feel confident saying "WHY, I NEVER! OF COURSE MY INTENTIONS ARE SELFLESSLY HONORABLE!" because we're all blind to our own pettinesses and egos when they're so painfully obvious to outsiders, aren't we? But I like to think that I include these devices because real people have them and it is sincerely important to me that as wide a range of people see a body that at least partially looks like theirs at some point in my work. Just like I like to think that when I donate to causes I support or buy an issue of Street Roots from a homeless vendor I'm doing it because it's the Right and Helpful Thing to Do and not just because it Makes Me Feel Like a I'm a Good Person-- but even if it IS the latter, isn't the end result still a positive one?

Anyway.

A couple of the artsy folks I follow on Instagram had to get PEG tubes installed in the last couple years. These are folks I had been following for years across various points on the internet for their modeling or their photography or illustration, and independently their health all took a turn for the worse and they began visually documenting their transition into being people living with disabilities. One of them is my longtime inspiration (Over ten years!) and more recently actual friend (About seven years-ish?) Cherry, who is an incredible photographer, essayist, and now disability activist. I really encourage you to check out their feed, they're a very thoughtful person who shares interesting, thought-provoking things, as well as powerful photos.

I had no idea that some people need to have feeding tubes surgically installed into their bodies before the posts by Cherry and the other folks on Instagram! I did not know that was a thing that exists! But, now I do. And folks with feeding tubes? I want them to see themselves (at least in part) when they read through my work. I want Cherry to see somebody who looks like them (at least in part) when they catch up on OJST.

My goal is to show people with their devices and disabilities simply existing, without commenting on the physical state or object itself. Partly this is to contribute towards "normalizing" the appearance of disability (No need to comment on something that is normal! Just like I don't have a character comment "I see you are wearing a HAT" when a hat shows up.) and partly because I am a coward who is afraid of Saying the Wrong Thing and having people yell at me. It destroys me when people yell at me :-/ Haha, I have doctor-declared PTSD and people yelling at me sends me into a genuine, irrational panic, even if somebody is within their rights to be upset with me. Haha. I'm a special snowflake. Haha.

Wait, why am I telling you that? Oh god, I just made this all about ME when I intended to be talking about portraying disability in my comics. I probably AM that self-absorbed Performative Ally who's just looking for accolades for my "commitment to diversity". But... isn't the end result still positive?

Speaking of which: If you want to feel like a good person and contribute to a positive end result, donate to Scarleteen! It's a non-profit website that provides comprehensive sex education geared towards teens but applicable to everyone, and they run on a fucking shoe-string of a budget. They're one of my primary resources when researching for a sex education comic.

Anyway.

Happy Wednesday.

xoxo,

Erika