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The trouble with having a mental illness/neurodivergent brain is that I can never trust my feelings. Every emotion I experience, there's this little Erika in a tiny helicopter buzzing around my head, monitoring every shift and analyzing it for "crazy"
I'm always asking myself "Is this within the acceptable realm of feelings? Is this genuine? Is this reasonable? Or is this mental illness? Are the meds working? Am I crazy and I don't realize it?" Haha, I had two weeks of feeling happy and relaxed and instead of enjoying it, I was scared I was in the beginning stages of hypomania. Feeling good makes me worried about my mental health. Lordy bargordy.
What a brain.
But it's mine. I do the best I can with it.