Journal Comic - Collaging at the Intensive Outpatient Program (Patreon)

CONTEXT: I'm currently enrolled in an Intensive Outpatient Program for mental health right now. I comic'd about it a bit before. I go in all day twice a week to learn healthy coping strategies to counter my bipolar brain and PTSD'd soul.

Instructor: Today in Expressive Therapy we'll be portraying our mental health goals through art. 

Instructor: Would you rather write a collaborative poem together or make your own collages?
Patient: Collage
Patient: Collage
Patient: Collage

Instructor: Look through the magazines for any words or pictures that resonate with your goals and glue them to your paper.

Erika (thinking): This is stupid.

Erika (thinking): Oo! Oh wait, I like this one.

Erika (thinking): And this one... If I put them together they'd be a perfect metaphor...

Erika (thinking): Ah yes, through the composition I can reinforce the underlying narrative and the color palette will set the tone...

Instructor: Would anyone like to talk about their piece?
Erika: This collage is my soul.

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Ok. Yes. I can't show you this comic without also showing you my collages. BE NICE, THEY ONLY GIVE US 20 MINUTES TO MAKE THEM AND I AM ::back of hand to forehead:: IN A VERY DELICATE PLACE RIGHT NOW U_U

You ready for this? 

(Imagine I am sucking in my breath as I shove these over to you in a pile)

ASSIGNMENT: Mental Health Goals
I  think this one really speaks for itself, don't you?

(That is a joke)

No, ok. So, like. The woman wrestling with a duck that's trying to fly away? 

That's me and my crazy thoughts. The flapping bird trying to take off is my thoughts and I'm just trying to hold on and keep them in reined in. 

All the four-legged chairs and sofas, those represent stability to me because they're grounded and balanced and can evenly support a heavy load. They're my mental health goals, I wanna be stable like a motherfucking chair. I'm the peach, sitting on my chair of stability there. 

I know I'm never not gunna be bipolar, but I'd just like to reach a point where I can cohabitate with my crazy brain and still live a stable life. So all the flying birds are my thoughts, and they're living (mostly) peacefully amongst and on the stable chairs. And I threw plants in there because I like plants.

IT'S ART.

And yes.... there's more. 

If there's one thing  I've learned at IOP, it's that you do a LOT of collages.

ASSIGNMENT: Today's Mood
I'm a little red car driving through the amorphous gray blobs of my bad brain thoughts U_U Beep beep, motherfucker.

NOTE: These first two collages are all banged up because they gave us fucking massive pieces of construction paper and I had to fold them up to get them home. After this I learned I could just... cut the paper in half so it'd fit in my folder.

ASSIGNMENT: Things That Soothe You
BEETS.

ASSIGNMENT: This is Me Today
Oh, y'know. Just functioning like normal on the surface, doing everything you're supposed to do and maintaining my relationships the way a healthy person would. Everything looks fine on the exterior. 

But then... underneath.... THE GIANT GAPING RAGGED HOLE OF EMPTINESS AND WOE.

WOE!!!!!! 

WOE.

...

I'm fine. 

Everything's fine. 

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Alright, thank you for joining me on this journey of exploring my naked soul. As you can tell, I am An Artiste with Lots of Feelings. 

I've really appreciated the kind words people have sent me but I am definitely not seeking them by sharing this stuff here, so please don't feel like you gotta say something supportive to me. ...But also don't be a dick, either? I know this shit is ridiculous and over-the-top. But it's also fun. 

I dunno.

 Instead of replying, you  could just collage your feelings about this post. 

Try it, you might like it.