Timeless Evil // Who Would Do That??? (Patreon)

You know how in a movie the villain always has an oil painting of themself above the mantle in their lair and they're just looking evil and smug and judgmental as fuck? 

I've always loved that.

Like, who would do that?

Who would spend all that money on a vanity portrait and then make yourself look like an arrogant prick?

(What We Do in the Shadows artwork from Method Studios)

I just, I love it. Commissioning an artist to devote all this time and energy and skill into immortalizing your image and the image that you want immortalized is you looking like a giant asshole? That's art. 

(Oliver and Company)

That's art. 

Which leads us back to my original question: Who would do something as self-indulgent and ridiculous as that? Who is that self-absorbed and oblivious at the same time? 

(One of the Back to the Future movies)

Me, obviously. 

SO. 

I sat on this idea for a freakin' year, waiting for it to stop amusing me so I wouldn't have to fork out the money to make it happen, but the thing is: it never stopped making me laugh. I figure if an idea sticks in your head that long, it's probably worth the amount it'll cost and with Matt's birthday coming up (July 27!) I figured it was finally time to make this dream come true. 

But who could I entrust with my precious baby of an idea? Who has the raw talent and driven discipline to bring this masterpiece to life? 

Jonathan Case was naturally the only person for this job. We've been studiomates at Helioscope for more than a decade and his paintings have always been just breathtaking. If you've been to a McMenamins you've probably already seen his work in real life. Or perhaps you've seen him be charming and talented on Instagram or Twitter?

I told him I was looking for Timeless Evil, something kind of Victorian Era-ish, and provided this sketch as a starting point:

In no time flat he sent back his own "sketch" (Quote marks used because are you kidding me he sent back a full-on completed illustration. Goddamnit Jonathan, quit making all the other working artists look bad 😤)

"Sketch", indeed. 😤😤😤

Anyway, I told him it's gorgeous, amazing, perfect-- EXCEPT that he'd made us look too.... nice.

"You need to make us look way crueler" I told him, and defaced his beautiful drawing to illustrate what I meant:

He got what I meant and sent back this revised version:

Perfect. 

Oh, quick note to add that Flapjack is a drooler, which is why he's, uh, he's drooling in his portrait. And the little box on the side there? That's where Matt and I keep all of our dirty secrets U_U That's what Jonathan said, anyway-- plus, it was a great place to sneak his signature on there. It's a Case on a case, getit???

Once the design was all approved Jonathan got to work and produced the painting in record speed. Seriously. I don't wanna say exactly how fast it was here so other commissioners won't expect that fast of a turnaround for their stuff, but, dang, it was shockingly fast. H O W ???

With the final painting completed at the end of May (WAY WAY WAY earlier than I had anticipated for Matt's July birthday) I took it to my fav art supply and framing store, I've Been Framed where I asked for their most gaudy, villainous framing options.

The choice was pretty obvious.

Fortunately, they told me it would take three weeks to finish the job, which meant it was three weeks out of my hands and away from the temptation of giving it to Matt early. But then, all too soon, it was ready for pick up!!! So I just... HAD it. Sitting in my house! Burning a hole in my poor, impulsive mind!!!! And I.... I was afraid. What if this was too weird for Matt? What if he wouldn't like a portrait of himself on the wall? He doesn't really like photos of himself, for chrissakes, and this is a whole lot bigger than a polaroid. What if this was really just a gift for me, and my long-suffering husband was going to feel disappointed with my latest selfish, expensive indulgence? On his BIRTHDAY, no less??? 

I made it four days before I cracked.

Yes, he loved it. 

No, I don't have any other back up gifts for him next month. 

Thank you again to Jonathan Case for bringing this idea to life, you truly captured our essence and it's an honor to have your work hanging on our wall. If you're reading this and looking for some custom artwork of your own, please let me point you in Jonathan's direction. He is a chameleon of various styles, master of many mediums, and has an eye for the charmingly bizarre. Or just follow him on Instagram or Twitter, you're bound to fall in love with his incredible imagination and artwork.