What does "Sex Positive" mean? (Patreon)

"Sex Positive" is one of those phrases that gets used all the time, but you don't actually see it defined all that much. Like "feminism" or "queer" or any other ideological/identity title, it means a hundred different things to a hundred different people. At some point I'd like to do a comic talking about what the words means to me, and I'm curious to hear what it means to all of you.

Here is an incomplete list of what it means to me, at this moment and subject to change.

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-Respecting that not everyone is into sex and that's totally valid and healthy. Don't pathologize people who aren't into having sex, or desire it infrequently.

-Being able to feel attraction to someone without feeling entitled to their attention and body.

-Having an openness to talk about your personal sexual preferences and to hear your partner's with an open mind, even if those conversations may be awkward or potentially "mood killers". It's ok to be disappointed you don't get to do a sex act with them, but don't punish them for it either with shitty behavior.

-Being Good, Giving, and Game-- WITHIN REASON, of course. This does not mean enduring things for the sake of your partner that fundamentally squick you out. It means being up for trying new things (within reason) and being invested in pleasing your partner sexually (within reason).

-"Don't Yuck My Yum" It's cool if you're not into a sex act, you don't have to be, but don't be a jerk about the act/those who enjoy it.

-Obviously, consent is crucial in all sexual interactions. Also, continue to check in on consent throughout your encounter.

-Never using someone's sexuality as a weapon against them (as long as they haven't been using it themselves to damage or harass others). This means not looking at somebody's unconsensually leaked sexts, or exposing the private details of somebody's sex life to humiliate them and invalidate them from participating in an unrelated field.

-Supporting sex workers. Listening to what sex workers say they need to be safe and protected in their field and doing your best to help make that a reality. Recognize that sex work IS work. Hard work. Legitimate work that serves a legitimate need from society. Don't pathologize sex workers.

-Being "Sex Positive" does not mean being up for every sex act with every configuration of partners. "Sex Positive" includes abstinence, monogamy, asexuality, being "vanilla", being heterosexual, and whatever else that isn't popularly considered wild and crazy and edgy and evolved.

-Not being threatened that your partner may have attraction to people who are not you. It's healthy and normal. They shouldn't be a jerk about it if that reality makes you uncomfortable, of course! But that reality in and of itself doesn't mean that your relationship is now invalidated. Feel your feelings, but keep it in perspective.

-Not expecting your partner to provide all your sexual satisfaction. You should know how to take care of your needs by yourself as well, if not for your own well-being then to know how to communicate those needs to your partner.

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On an unrelated note!

Here's some pencils and final colors for next week's comic!

Aaaaaaaand I'm super honored that Lux Alptraum interviewed Matthew and me for an article about the business side of OJST on The Verge! http://www.theverge.com/2015/6/2/8701657/how-a-tiny-sex-ed-webcomic-found-a-foothold-online

Hope you all are doin' well. What's the best thing that happened to you in the last week?

For me, it was going out and getting fro-yo more than once with Matt. Gotdang, I'm totes on a fro-yo kick right now. We've been going to Nectar in Sellwood and oh my goooosssshhhhhhh. The frozen yogurt is really just a vehicle to transport mochi balls into my mouth. So good.