Beetlings (Patreon)

On March 16th, Matt and I planted a buncha little beet seeds! I've been documenting their progress over on Instagram; here's a buncha photos and captions from there. The idea is: I wanna do a really in-depth visual study of a vegetable's growth, from sprout to full development and create artwork along the various stages. In addition to drawing their progress, I've also been recreating them in little sculptures out of wire and paper. There's not really a Grand Thesis behind this other than I just find root vegetables very aesthetically pleasing /:)

We tried to get the pots closer to the window with a makeshift shelf supported by paint cans from our basement. I named the two left pots Barrack and Michelle, and Matt temporarily named the right two John and Henry, but he wants to come up with something better later. (EDITOR'S NOTE: They were later renamed to Sinbad and Senpai)

The two on the left have Red Ace seeds and the two on the right have a blend of Red Ace, Touchstone Gold, Albino, and Chioggia.

March 20th

MOTHERFUCKERS, HOLD THE PHONE!!!! Our first beet seedlings are sprouting after just 3 days!!!!!!!!!! There’s just two so far and they’re in the Michelle pot, which makes Matt grumpy cos that’s not one of his and he was like “Why aren’t mine coming up yet?” and I was like “I literally sing ‘I love you, little seedlings’ to my pots every morning” That’s how I even noticed the sprouts in the first place, I had my face right up close to the soil and I was singin’ to them so my voice would penetrate down deep into the bottom of the pots.  I mean. Listen. I don’t... I don’t ACTUALLY love my little seedlings. Like. Not for reals. Not like how I love my cat or something. I’m not THAT much of a crazy hippy dippy lady. But also, THEY don’t know that. The seedlings, I mean. They don’t know ANYthing! Cos they’re seeds. They have no way of discerning whether I’m telling the truth or not to them! They’ll believe whatever you tell them!! So I tell ‘em I love ‘em and they just eat that shit up and start growing faster than their neighbors in the next pot!!! IT’S SCIENCE, FOLKS. I don’t make the rules U_U

A single sprout in the Barack pot!! Still none in Matt’s pots. It’s not a competition, but I’m definitely winning.

March 21st🎶 I love you, my little seedlings, I love youuuuu 🎶

March 22

They’re growing so quickly, just over the course of a few hours!

The seed packet suggested putting three seeds in each hole, and then later clipping down the seedlings you decide not to keep, should they all sprout. This is from Matt’s Senpai pot, where he used a packet of mixed beet seeds; Red Ace, Touchstone Gold, Albino, And Chioggia. Looks like this little hole got three different types that all took hold! I love how each one is a different color and my heart is preemptively breaking and the thought of cutting any of them away 💔

(EDITOR'S NOTE: I did wind up separating them and they survived juuuuust fiiiiine)

Little kissing seedlings.

Not sure how, but this little guy was just resting on top of the soil like this. Well, perfect opportunity to get an up close study of an entire specimen, from tip to toe!

March 23

Update on the kissing beetlings: Still sucking face.

I like how that little middle guy looks like he’s shruggin’, like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You’ve, ah, you’ve got a little something on your face, there. 

NSFW portrait of those two slutty beetlings. This isn’t smut, it’s EROTIC ART. Totally different.

I don’t just draw porn, here’s a portrait of a beetling you could take home to meet your mother.

Band of juvenile delinquents, just hanging about, probably skipping school. GET A JOB.

March 24

HORNY BEETLING UPDATE: Still slutting it up.

More erotic art of the Makeout Bandits.

IMPORTANT UPDATE ON THE SHRUGGING 🤷‍♂️BEETLING🌱: Now he’s just make a big O with his little arms. 🙆‍♂️🌱 I wonder if he’s trying to spell out some message to me. So far he’s made a W and an O. C’mon, little duder, tell me what you want!

Curious to see how that red guy with the dirt ball on him develops. I think he’s actually TWO sprouts stuck together? There’s the bottom one, growing from the soil TO the dirt ball, and then I think the second one starts FROM the dirt ball and continues growing upwards. There’s a SUPER thin second little red stem coming down from the underside of the dirt ball that lines up with the upper shoot, but it’s, like, a hair’s width, way slimmer than the upper shoot. HOW WILL THIS DRAMA UNFOLD? Stay tuned for more Hot Beetz News.

They actually moved over the course of this drawing. Of course now they fixed all their tangencies on their own, AFTER I’ve already committed them to paper >:C

Beetling sketches in the little blank journal @ryanao made by hand that I picked up in 2015. I’m exactly halfway through it now! I go on little binges where I draw in it every day and then leave it dormant for a year. It’s mostly full of botanical sketches, with a drawing of Matt and an octopus figurine that lives by the TV.

March 25
Sacrificial Beetling, uprooted because we gotta thin down our haul.

March 26thMatt and I transferred nearly all of the beetling inhabitants of the Barack pot to the grow boxes in our backyard that we’ve never used before. They came with the house and we’re pretty sure the previous owner only put them in as window dressing to sell the house because they are the flimsiest things you’ve ever seen. There were three on the side of the house that just DISINTEGRATED into piles of rubbish that were overgrown with weeds and bizarrely huge bushels of chard.

Anyway, we thought we’d have room for a couple of pots in the one plot but NO, the Barack beetlings took up the WHOLE THING. They survived the night and while some of them look the worse for wear, I think most of ‘em are gunna pull through.

March 26Stuck On You: The Incredible True Story of Two Beetlings in Love.

This guy got moved to a pot aaaaaall to himself.

MEANWHILE, outside...Some of the transferred beetlings aren’t doing so hot, but some of them are holding up just fine. 

March 27

Will they ever break free? 🌱⛓🌱

We turn the pots on a regular basis to try and encourage the sprouts to grow up somewhat straight-ish, instead of full leaned over from reaching towards the window. It... hasn't really worked. A lot of them have squiggly stems now. 

March 28

Ok, you're all caught up!