Done is Better than Good. (Patreon)

There, that one, just now.

The colors and the shapes really struck me and I thought to myself, dang, I bet I could embroider that.

My embroidery designs tend to be pretty literal-- all my artwork is, actually. I like to recreate recognizable images in my drawings, stuff you identify by sight. I don't really think in abstract shapes and colors. But this photo by @fairyblooms on Instagram, it gave me an idea for a more conceptual piece full of pretty, colorful blobs and lots of different textured stitches. Satin stitch and chain stitch and colonial knots. Oh, and empty space. I really wanted to play around with some sweet ass empty space. Like, let's get conceptual with this one, baby.

I traced the cactus outlines onto my fabric and picked out some pretty threads and got a few of the shapes done and then I just.... Man. I just started avoiding it. 

Just. 

Y'know.

Actively not pulling it out of my purse during my bus trips or when I'd get home from the studio. 

I still like my concept. 

I'm just getting no joy from making it exist. 

I hit this stage frequently, whether it's drawing comics for work or taking on hobby projects in my home/travel time (It's not really "free time" if you're always stressed out during it and feeling guilty for everything you've ever done wrong and have failed to accomplish yet, right? "Free time" sounds like a break, a moment of liberation to breath easy for a second. What I have is "Mental Torture in the Existential Void Time", I think.)

Wait. Sorry. 

Too much, too much. Pull it back, Erika.

Embroidery.

What I was trying to say is that it's part of the routine of making stuff, hitting that point where it's suddenly not fun and not turning out the way you want it to. Usually I'm really good about just pushing through! That's my one special skill, the ability to just put my nose to the grindstone and Get That Shit Done, even if my result isn't amazing, even if I'm miserable. That's how I've managed to make a career for myself in the Wacky Internet Art Job field. Done is better than good and boy can I get shit done. Even when I'm in my "free time". Oh, what's that? This hobby that's supposed to be distracting you from your overwound brain isn't bringing you any pleasure? Tough titty, Moen, push through till it's over and then post it on the internet. 

Yeah, so I'm abandoning this abstract cactus embroidery piece.

I mean, I'm actively abandoning it. I've consciously decided I will not be finishing it. As opposed to passively ignoring it and just dicking on my phone during my bus ride downtown and back home again, feeling guilty for not using my time better. 

I feel pretty good about it. 

You have so much potential, embroidery piece, there still a lot of things I like about you. But I'm taking you off of my hoop now and putting you into my shoe box of completed needlepoint projects. 

Let's start something new.

Also I saw this squirrel with the bottom half of a pumpkin up in a tree yesterday. They were so fucking pleased with themself and Matt and I couldn't stop laughing as they clambered higher and higher with it.