Lady Love (Patreon)

Happy Pride ✨

I hope you've all had a good month of PRIDE, despite so many unfortunate events happening every day. It seems like we are being forced back to day one and I'm not sure what the next day, week, month, or year will bring. 

But in regards to Pride, let's talk coming out. I knew I was queer from a very young age. I kissed multiple girls before I ever kissed a boy. At the time, I didn't count any of the kisses with my girl friends as my real first kiss because nothing made me feel validated in those emotions. I guess I thought, maybe, it was normal and just what kids did. Sometimes it is. Kids experiment. Other times it's not, and many of us discover our sexuality at a young age, whether society likes it or not.

I got my first official girlfriend in middle school. I was obsessed with her in each and every way and couldn't stop talking to her; so, of course, I was texting her during band class. My band teacher, Mrs. Walden, took up my phone, but she didn't stop there. She proceeded to, without my knowledge or consent, go through my phone and text messages and relay them to my mother. I was only made aware of this by coming home and being greeted by my mother jokingly taunting in a sing-song voice that I had a girlfriend. I was mortified and immediately knew what must have happened. I was embarrassed. I was hurt. I ran to my room and cried and didn't bring it up again.

Thankfully for me, my mother was and is kind and accepting. She never judged me for it. She never cared. She didn't realize her little song was so hurtful, but it was only because I was robbed of the opportunity to express it when I was fully ready. It wouldn't be so hard for us to come out if we weren't taught that we are weird or wrong. I'm afraid to think of all the other kids who had it stolen from them who may not have had as accepting a mother as I did. Mrs. Walden could have sent me to a death sentence. Maybe she wanted that. I don't know.

What I do know is that now, as a 26-year-old woman, I am proud of everything I was and everything I am. Society has come such a long way. I know assholes are out there. They always will be. But it feels nice and warm to not have to question who I am or who I love.

Love is love and love is blind.

Happy Pride.

🏳‍🌈

Wanderlust Boudoir
with Olivia Lynn / @froggieapple
Chattanooga, Tennessee 2021