Only Temporary | Lyrical content (Patreon)

Debut album Only Temporary
Available November 23rd on all streaming platforms

Leaked track list

1. Home

I've been biting my tongue
Cornucopias are gone
The sun is blinding
Cicadas are crying and I want to go home   

I love you more
Can we stay home?
I love you more
Can we stay home?
I love you more
Can we stay home?
I love you more
Can we stay home?   

Cylindrical ceilings come down
They glow and rot in the ground
Atoms keep turning
And I can't stop squirming beneath your hand
Under the floor   
What do you love more?   

I love you more
Can we stay home?
I love you more
Can we stay home?
I love you more
Can we stay home?
I love you more
Can we stay home?   

Home grown funerals
Black tar numerals
The light consumable
The change is beautiful
Cut my cuticles
Home grown funerals
I know that I want to go home   

I don't wanna plant seeds for pain
I wanna plant seeds for change
I don't want to see the ignorance of blissfulness bloom
I'm okay seeing grey clouds
I'm okay seeing doom
Every once in awhile if I can keep seeing you   

I love you more
Can we stay home?
I love you more
Can we stay home?
I love you more
Can we stay home?
I love you more
Can we stay home?   

When oceans are drying
(No more, no more)
Rebirth and dying
(No more, no more)
Burning and sighing
Sinking and climbing   
Home grown funerals
(When oceans are drying)
Black tar numerals
(Rebirth and dying)
The light consumable
(Burning and sighing)
The change is beautiful
(Sinking and climbing)

2. Tvivs

Do they know what they do
Or are they blind just like you?
Are you lonely like me?
I see the stars that you see
It's all just a frame on TV   

TVs and IVs  
Tangled beside me
Treat me so nicely
TVs and IVs
Wanna change what's inside me
and so do I   

It's appealing to me
Being numb to humility
Pressed too tightly against
Needles that bite at my skin
Glitter screens in my veins still remain   

TVs and IVs  
Tangled beside me
Treat me so nicely
TVs and IVs
Wanna change what's inside me
and so do I   

I've taken samples and I've written notes
I've cut and organized the letters in my throat
The optic pruning beneath my skull
Now I can finally see
Now I can finally speak to these   

TVs and IVs  
Tangled beside me
Treat me so nicely
TVs and IVs
Wanna change what's inside me
and so do I   

TVs and IVs  
Tangled beside me
Treat me so nicely
TVs and IVs
Wanna change what's inside me
and so do I

3. Viscera

Last night’s insides follow me to bed
Much too close to where I lay my head
One too many times I’ve felt this body petrify
From all the little things that are better left unsaid   

Viscera, follow me to bed
Much too close to where I lay my head
Viscera, can you forgive me in my part
for what I’ve consumed in the dark?   

Necrosis finds her way by infrared  
To find a way to feel better than this
Envious of agency
Depleted organs in our chests that rust with little warning
Oh, I told you this was coming   

Viscera, follow me to bed
Much too close to where I lay my head
Viscera, can you forgive me in my part
for what I’ve consumed in the dark?   

I'll teach you a lesson
I'm keeping you guessing
What can I do just to make you question
Are these omitted pages done rightfully so?
What can I do for you to beg me no?
Just beg me no
Beg me no
Beg me no
Just beg   

Viscera, follow me to bed
Much too close to where I lay my head
Viscera, can you forgive me in my part
for what I’ve consumed in the dark?   
Viscera, follow me to bed
Much too close to where I lay my head
Viscera, can you forgive me in my part
for what I’ve consumed in the dark?   

Last night’s insides follow me to bed
Much too close to where I lay my head
I can feel this body petrify
From everything that's left unsaid

4. Therapy

Neurodivergent blues
Chemically induced moods
Brighten and dull the hues
What's a girl to do?   

A bit afraid of therapy
Settled for psychology
So I could learn something in privacy
Something just for me   

But maybe a bitch needs therapy
I'm not always so good for me
They'll probably see something I don't see
Help mend a little part of me
Inside
I think I got it right this time
Just need a little company
Another brain's ideology
Just need a little therapy   

I'll say what I need to say here
Not like anyone is listening
I'll do what I need to do here
Maybe cause some movement
In this stagnant life
Trying not to sharpen any knives   

But maybe a bitch needs therapy
I'm not always so good for me
They'll probably see something I don't see
Help mend a little part of me
Inside
I think I got it right this time
Just need a little company
Another brain's ideology
Just need a little therapy   

Neurodivergent blues
Chemically induced moods
Brighten and dull the hues
Tell me what's a sad girl to do?   

But maybe a bitch needs therapy
I'm not always so good for me
They'll probably see something I don't see
Help mend a little part of me
Inside
I think I got it right this time
Just need a little company
Another brain's ideology   

I just need a little therapy
I'm not always so good for me
They'll probably see something I don't see
Help mend a little part of me
Inside
I think I got it right this time
Just need a little company
Another brain's ideology
Just need a little therapy

5. Mea Sepulcrum

What have I done to your eyes?
I've wasted all your borrow time
The skin is separating between you and I
Am I blind to your pain though it's mine?   

I've tripped and I've crawled
I've stripped down my clothes
I've lied in my grave
As I was persuaded
I couldn't be saved
I couldn't be saved
I couldnt be saved   

What have I done for mankind?
Besides demanding more breath and more time?
What have I done for you and I?   

I've tripped and I've crawled
I've stripped down my clothes
I've lied in my grave
As I was persuaded
I couldn't be saved
I couldn't be saved
I couldn't be saved   

Where have I gone, besides my head?
With shackles forcing me onto my filthy bed
Should I have gone with you instead?   

I've tripped and I've crawled
I've stripped down my clothes
I've lied in my grave
As I was persuaded
I couldn't be saved
I couldn't be saved
I couldn't be saved

6. Same Thing

Same pile of clothes on the ground for lord knows
How long
Same knots in my hair
Scent or two here and there
For god knows how long
Fingernails are dirty
How the fuck can you stand to cat call and start flirting?
I'm working
I'm working
I swear to god I'm working
For god knows how long tonight   

It's the same thing
Day in and day out
Stand up and lay down
It's the same damn thing
That same face
That same frown
Sun up and sun down
If nothing changes I'm gunna drown
It's the same thing
Day in and day out   

Looks like we're out of milk again
And I'm out of dignity and ran off all my friends
Seems like it's a Wednesday again
My world is defective
I am not welcome   

None of It's real
I'm not fucking real
I'm not really real
I know the deal   

It's the same thing
Day in and day out
Stand up and lay down
It's the same damn thing
That same face
That same frown
Sun up and sun down
If nothing changes I'm gunna drown
It's the same thing
Day in and day out   

I should really brush my teeth
but what's the point,
I can't eat
I can't feel my feet  
or my hands or my toes
I know that no one knows
What happens when I die
and that frightens me 'cause I need control of my
environment and everything inside of it
What's real and what isn't  
when all perspectives are different?
No common denominator can help me live within this
It crawls up my spine, digs down into my mind
and grinds itself up with make believe time
It boils in my veins  
The corrosion causes pain
But none of It's there
None of It's there   

It's the same thing as yesterday and the day before that
And the decades before that follow the past
How fast can you run?  
How far can you get?
Get out of this mess

7. Change Interlude

The leaves here know my name
Unlike me, every year they change  
They're reborn and they own their shame
Unlike me, every year they're brave   

Every year they strive
Each year to survive
Every hour contrived  
Of new ways to arise

The leaves here know my name  
Unlike me, every year they change   
They're reborn and they own their shame  
Unlike me, every year they're brave

8. The Alchemist

I'd hate to stay the same forever
I hope I always change forever
One day couldn't come fast enough
Once I reach it  
I'll reach out for the next one   

And I'll wake up that day
And find something new that I'd like to say
Probably won't agree with it tomorrow anyway
But I'll take the sunrise as it sets
And I'll take my pockets of regret
And I'll trade them all for something
May we all one day get
And I won't ask no questions
I trust all this world's intentions   

I'd hate stay the same forever
I hope I always change forever
A hypocrite to my former self
Rearrange all of my shelves
Knock them down and fill them up again   

But that don't mean a thing to me
All these things you say that you see
On the outside of me
Inside I am
Someone I'll never be
And it's someone who I'll always forever be
And I'm searching for better days to see   

I'd hate to stay the same forever I hope I always change  
I hope I always grow
I hope I always bring
A different mindset
to different games
I hope I always change

9. Temporary

I'm sorry if I get a little moody
When I don't take my medication
It's only that it gets a little tricky
When I don't feel no pity
It's hard to remember   

It's only temporary
Won't fix me, not completely
It's only temporary
It's just my temper
It's just my   

Temper
Why ya got a temper?
And tell me  
Why the hell can't I get any better?
Temporary in continuous existence
Makes me wanna cry
Don't no one wanna listen   

We're only temporary
Won't fix me, not completely
It's only temporary
It's just my temper
It's just my temper   

Babe I think that I can feel the wine
But I haven't had a drop tonight
Besides the tears welling in my eyes
Did I forget my pills again?
Is this real or just pretend?
A symptom or genuine?   

I swear I'll come back up  
I know it's only I know it's only   

Temporary
Won't fix me, not completely
It's only temporary
It's just my temper
It's just my

10. What the Hell

Yeah baby, go ahead, put your record on
I'm trying to eat and watch TV  
But I guess you're cute when you sing along
Yeah baby, go ahead, leave your shoes on
But would you take mine off?   

Yeah baby, you reek of cigarettes
And no you can't smoke in my car
But I guess we all make exceptions
And we've all gotten this far
So what the hell
I guess it's worth the smell
If it brings back just one second of your joy
What the hell
None of us could tell
That you wouldn't be
Couldn't be just another boy   

I'm weird 'cause I don't like the Beatles
And you're weird for not liking the sea
And you don't like anything outside for that matter
But I guess that it's all right with me   

Baby, you reek of cigarettes
And no you can't smoke in my car
But I guess we all make exceptions
And we've all gotten this far
So what the hell
I guess it's worth the smell
If it brings back just one second of your joy
What the hell
None of us could tell
That you wouldn't be
Couldn't be just another boy   

Yeah baby, I hate the sweet talk
But yes you can kiss me good night
I know not everyone gets touched
And I know tonight that I might
I appreciate all the words that I've never heard
And I admire the ones that I have
Oh you know I hate that sweet talk
You know I hate that sweet talk
Yeah, you know I hate that sweet talk   

Stop all that babytalkin'
Light up and get to walkin'
I'll see you in the mornin'
'Fore the crows start a cawin'
And here I'll be forgotten
By no one, no especially not you   

What the hell, light me up one too

11. Slowing Down

Well my head feels like a worthless pit
Filth and grit paralysis
Maybe if I cry it'll be a quick fix
Maybe if I die it'll bring some bliss   

But what if I can't run fast enough?
What if the roots crash at my feet?
If I can't have this or that and my brain has become a trap
What if I can't run fast enough?   

I'm slowing down now
Drop to my hands and knees
I'm growing down now
The roots tie up my feet
I lay my head into the flames and feel them licking blood from my veins
I lay my heart into the fire one more time for my desire
I'm slowing down now
I'm slowing down now

What do you do
When your flesh turns on you?
What do you do
They've all turned on you  

Don't look out the window
You won't like what you see
Don't look in the mirror
You won't like who it'll be
I don't wanna remember how it feels not to breathe
But catching my breath is so hard
I'm slowing down   

What if I can't run fast enough?
What if the roots crash at my feet?
If I can't have this or that and my brain has become a trap
What if I can't run fast enough?   

I'm slowing down now
Drop to my hands and knees
I'm growing down now
The roots tie up my feet
I lay my head into the flames and feel them licking blood from my veins
I lay my heart into the fire one more time for my desire
I'm slowing down now
I'm slowing down now   

Well what if I can't run fast enough?
What if time wants me to rust?
I'll slow down
Slow down
Slow down
Slow down

12. Get Up (bonus track)

My tongue is on fire
With a need to conspire
I've got my gun in my hand
Built up an empire
But brick by brick nothing's gonna get done
We're out here throwing rocks and we're gonna be gunned   

Down in our own town
Hands up, knees on the ground
What did I do? Who is really who?
Get up and turn around
Hands up on your head or else they'll shoot you dead
Gunned down in our home town
So get up
Get up
Get up and turn around   

How many words have been carved
Into bullets and scars
Pink, red, blue
Mimics me and you
But which will be put behind bars?   

Down in our own town
Hands up, knees on the ground
What did I do? Who is really who?
Get up and turn around
Hands up on your head or else they'll shoot you dead
Gunned down in our home town
So get up
Get up
Get up and turn around  

Get up and turn around
Get up and don't back down
Get up and turn around
Get up and don't back down   

Get up and turn around
Get up and don't back down
Get up and turn around
Get up and don't back down   

Down in our own town
Hands up, knees on the ground What did I do?
Who is really who? Get up and turn around
Hands up on your head or else they'll shoot you dead
Gunned down in our home town
So get up
Get up
Get up and turn around   

Get up and turn around
Get up and don't back down
Get up and turn around
Get up and don't back down