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Made it! Thanks for waiting, everyone. This may not look like a very technical page that I failed to release on time, (though I did seriously struggle to get Parker's hug/tackle looking even remotely right.) but it really was the dialog that got me stuck and cost me time. It seemed like no matter how I wrote it, it came off to me that Halver was bullying Lydia here, which was not my intent at all. I wanted him to be more like he's simply frustrated to see someone dear to him keep making themself miserable, and has been bottling up his emotions on the matter until now. 

Let me know if it came across as intended if you would! In the meantime I hope you've liked this scene, just a couple pages now until the end of the whole chapter! 

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Comments

HungryOuroboros

He doesn't come off as a bully in my eyes, just frank. Lydia needs someone who's willing to tell her the truth and not back down, and I feel like Halver is stepping into the role very well after Isaac served that purpose for a short time.

MAR

I like this guy, and this page did it. Maybe you need a couple test readers for feedback?

Slaughterbug

Interesting that he's changed back into his butler suit. I guess that means Lydia is taking him seriously again?

Mark W

Didn't come off as bullying to me, more like someone who is so frustrated that he's basically metaphorically firing a shotgun into the air and yelling "ALL RIGHT YOU PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS, LISTEN UP!"

Squid Hills

He's not bullying her, he's just not sugarcoating stuff anymore. Telling someone "people don't hate you" isn't bullying, even if you tell them in a dickish way.

SpectralTime

I felt like it came across. And Lydia getting a big hug from one of her friends when she could use it was nice.

Jariah Synn

Lydia needs to get her head out of her ass.

Anonymous

Man im loving this both crawlers and more lydia content Hopefully we'll melt through her icy exterior

Mark Hunter

Dude, you NAILED Halver’s message. Concerned, frustrated friend vibes all the way. And that little trailing tear in Parker’s eye? *Chef’s kiss*

nick

Parker is one of the hottest girls because of her personality.

eF..cz

Came across perfectly.

NKL

He needs his crown :)

Reinbach

Oh I do, for sure, but I have to get the bones of the dialog laid out first and that was what I really struggled with here.