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And here we have two pages in a row that make no sense if you're just jumping in now. I'm glad I had a chance to work this in, though. Abbey would have heard about Casey having sex with Morgan, and would have been pissed off over it. Slut shaming isn't normally a thing in Castlewood, despite how Abbey's whining may sound here. I intended it to be more of a "why HER and not ME" sort of argument. Let me know if that's what came across, I might make dialog tweaks tomorrow if need be.

But, oof. A clumsy failed kiss attempt followed by a temper tantrum? If this was real life, this date would be over. But this is TRW and Abbey still has a shot at salvaging this. XD

As for the game: we're still working hard on the next update. We aren't going to make it for this month, but we're looking good for early August. With any luck we should be dropping the test release for the level four tier within a week or so. 

The hold up was largely because of extensive rewrites on Raina's story on my end. When I have to write anything dramatic or just mushy stuff in general, I sometimes can't shake the feeling that attempting this kind of material is punching above my weight class as an author. I know I'll never improve if I don't keep at it, but it still feels strange because I normally have a lot more confidence in my work overall.

So long story short, I wasted a lot of time obsessing and nit-picking over my writing. As it is now I'm relatively happy with it, but I'm really hoping to get some constructive feedback when it drops. 

And that's all for now! Hope you guys are liking this scene so far. Once the next build of the game releases expect me to try and work in a two-page week here and there to keep the pacing as brisk as I can. 



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Comments

HungryOuroboros

Super excited to hear more about the next update! As for being unsure about your writing, I get that believe me. Your writing when I first started following you was better than most r34 artists, particularly the dialogue, but as you've kept writing you've only gotten better. The dialogue is still the shining star, but at this point I genuinely care about these characters and what happens to them. That takes more than clever and witty dialogue, that takes heart and good character writing, and those have absolutely blossomed in your stories over the past few years. Thanks for pushing through your doubts and trucking on, can't wait for the Raina update! And the Jane one right after, if that's still the plan (please please please!)

Barished

I really hope Abby gets some love. I know a lot of fans want her Mom involved but Abby deserves center stage.

Anonymous

I got the "why her and not me" thing before I read your description of the scene so I'd say it comes across as how you meant it. I'm assuming I missed it but was it ever explain why Abby doesn't hate Casey anymore?

rah

I don't think it's shaming, but I do think she's being too eager. She's seeing Casey as a (probably fantastic) lay, instead of acting like a friend. Which could be fine, but I think Casey might want to be real friends with her (with bennies, of course). Then again, I think I'm putting too much thought in this. Party on.

Jariah Synn

A Shot at Love with Casey! That would've been funny if her name was Tequila or something else trashy. (Points to anyone that reference) To be honest the "Why her and not me?" Thing just barely flew over my head. Usually, I can read into that but that may be my fault for speed reading. Be as picky as you want with the games story. If it's not been made clear, I'm here until the end of the line. (Points to anyone who catches that reference)

Anonymous

I think Casey's at an emotional advantage here. She's in two functional, emotionally stable-ish relationships which converge and feed into each other in a positive way. Abbey is hella eager, but it looks like it comes from an emotional need, and Casey doesn't require sex as a substitute for her issues anymore. Abbey needs a different approach.

Malcolm Tent

I'm personally voting for a spanking for bad behavior. I mean look at that middle panel. Also hoping Morgan and Abby end up friends. Maybe the thing with Casey will expand Morgans social circle a bit. Also I kind of want to see Morgan hook up with Royce lol. Maybe we'll get to see another sleep over at Casey's house sometime.

Bob Fink

Abby’s really not handling the seduction very well and the why her not me isn’t working very well either. But I do hope Casey and her end up naked in bed. :D

Licorice Lain

Abbey is making the classic mistake of obsessing over someone who is just not that interested. Would be interesting if you followed this line of logic to its natural conclusion.

Angelo

The “why her and not me” argument came across clearly

Anonymous

*puts on coach hat* Alright kiddo you struck out with the kiss but you're still in this. Play it smart and use your... assets... and we can still win!

Slaughterbug

Yeah, definitely getting the "why her and not me" vibe. Abbey is coming across as entitled as ever. But if anyone can put her in her place its Casey. Also no need to worry about rookies not knowing what is going on. As far into this comic as you are I think it would be good for a newbie to need to catch up a bit. Most of game of thrones would make little sense if someone hadn't seen the seasons prior.

ScuzzBucket

Casey is starting to look more and more like a giant, super-busty jock and the look is growing on me, lol. Also, I like how it's a "no sex/nudity" page and yet there's still cleavage & bra slips going on. Nice work :)

JB

I immediately read it as "Why her, not me?" not "You tramp, but you sleep with everyone!"

Kudos707

I hope they make up with some ass-2-ass

Deano

Abbey's chipped tooth is my favourite little detail on any of the characters, it gives her so much personality

Anonymous

I think that the lines in this page you asked about make perfect sense for Abbey's point of view. They just ride the line of shaming Casey for being a "loose woman", but it's very clear that it's coming from a place of sexual frustration and "Why her and not me" like others have said. As far as I'm concerned, the real achievement of this page is the great visual weight and pacing. I love the tight little panels telling the story of the flubbed kiss, the wide angle giving big emotional space to her falling in Casey's lap and haranguing her. I really like the final three panels. I felt a natural extra time spent on the bottom left panel, because there's more text to read there and the text is taking us back in time for a sort of undrawn "in the reader's head"-flashback. I think it's because the left-right relationship of Abbey's head and the word balloon changes from the left panel to the middle panel, that creates even more breath, like not a full no-text panel, but a smaller pregnant pause, before the final two lines. Keeping those last two word balloons in the same corner of their respective panels and on the same eyeline really worked great, in my opinion, to read them as the two parts to one reply after a brief ashamed pause. Re: TRW game, I understand how you feel. It can be hard to strive for more complex and nuanced writing, and every author is critical of their own stuff. I've agonized over my own words so many times. You're especially looking to elevate your text in a tricky environment for that too; writing for erotica is a tough place to raise the quality of the writing, but you've been doing it for years and it's why I'm a reader. A lot of people are going to act like it's just about the hot characters and the depraved sex scenes, but it isn't just about those. It's about the relationships and the storyline and the dialog too. Also, writing for non-linear branching narratives is SO HARD, and I commend you for striving to create a more exciting narrative environment for the Raina storyline than a simple "Click to advance" visual novel. I'm looking forward to playing the next build and reading everything you've put down.

eF..cz

It came across just fine. Nice job.

Chris Davis

I didn't even notice that until you pointed it out..Nice catch! And, I agree, it works well!

frank barry

Ilove anime Abbey when she's side-eye thinking, SO much!

frank barry

It's OK to obsess about story and characters, you love them, as do we. Taking the time to get them right means a lot to us; it means we'll get the best possible story.

Chris Davis

I can't wait to play the next installment, though I really think of all the Characters, Raina is the one that could have a "Hard" (pun) Branch where you make a certain choice and there's no going back, I.E. yes/no to the whole question she puts to you..Obviously, Reinbach's already finished this part, but he may want to go back later and put this in...just a thought..

frank barry

I'm surprised Abbey didn't have a entire seduction scene planned out for Casey's first visit, with candles, champagne, comfy pillows and fury handcuffs, and awkwardly executing every step and failing.

Squid Hills

Did not get any kind of slut shaming vibe from this at all, but then again, I've been following along since Switch, so I know these characters and how their relationship has developed. A neophyte might be confused, but that'll just encourage them to go back to the beginning and start reading from page 1.

Anonymous

I just hope we don't get drama between Casey and Morgan now. As a Switch reader, I can say definitively that Casey WAS a white trash garbage fire. She's gotten better since then, but Morgan was spot on when she said that.

Reinbach

If you don't mind looking it up, it was explained on page 161 of Switch. :)

Reinbach

I can say that i have been kicking around ideas for a Casey's house sleepover in the future. ;D

Reinbach

I figure the natural conclusion would be Casey getting the hell out of there right? I wouldn't troll my porn comic audience that hard I'm afraid. XD

Reinbach

For sure. I do think Casey isn't going to let Morgan get away without punishment now that she knows what she said. But not in a dramatic sense, more of a "porn comic" kind of "punishment" if you get me. XD

adam

heh, cute 😁